GiGiRose

I'm so very lucky and happy to have a wonderful doctor. He very gently brought up WLS, and never pushed it. He waited until I decided that I was ready, and then helped in every way that he could. If anyone in the Pittsburgh area needs a good GP, try Dr. Sam Urick, in the Robinson area.

My stall has passed!! I've moved roughly half a pound a day since. Praise The Lord that stall is over!

I had a really great synchronicity moment today that I think you all might understand. I was changing into a gown to get my upper GI in a little room with my 7 year old twin girls. As I'm changing I am having second thoughts about WLS. As these thoughts are swirling around both my girls look at me and say, without a bit of judgment, "mom, you are big!" My girls never say things like that and it was truly without judgment, just a fact they had just noticed. I don't usually believe in divine inspiration but this ones got me considering it. It's like two little angels reminding me of my commitment to them vis a vis handling my obesity. So, most of my tests done; hopefully I can get approved and scheduled soon. Ready not to be the big mom anymore.

My 8 year old son has actually been the most encouraging family member. Prior to my considering bariatric surgery, he never once said anything to me about how big I am. I was just (and still am) his loving and nurturing mama. But since I shared with him what is going to happen, he has become very aware of the changes I want to make and says the most wonderful things. I was watching So You Think You Can Dance last week (my guilty pleasure) and he asked me if I liked dancing. I said that I did and that I wished I could learn. He said, "Maybe after you have your surgery you could take a dance class. I can go with you if you want". <3 He is the light of my life and the reason I am on this path.

I totally know that feeling Good for you - I too am happy to be a healthier mom for my three kids!

I've met my goal weight and just want to shout it out! Some have even accused me of being HOT! I'll take it!!

I am a newbie - so please forgive me if this has been ranted about before...
I just need to get this off my (now smaller than it used to be) chest LOL
I AM SO ANGRY WHEN PEOPLE THINK SURGERY IS THE EASY OPTION!!!!
They treat it like surgery is being lazy:
Just don't eat so much...
Exercise more....
Etc...etc...etc
Sigh! It is a tool, i need to work at it. It is not a magic wand.
It hurts even more when it is family.... feels like i am the wee fat one and they dont
want that to change, well piss off that is YOUR problem!
I made the choice for me if you can't support my decision.... well.... tough!
Thank you for saving me from burying my anger in chocolate X

Mr. McButterpants and I had a conversation the other day about what I call The Fat Girl Syndrome. I told him I cannot imagine I will ever get to the point where I don't feel like the Fat Girl anymore - that's been me since I was 17 years old...the Funny Fat girl. (I seriously had a dream that night that the clerk at the grocery store referred to me as "the Big Girl" - I woke up pissed off!!!!!)
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror of a bathroom this morning - I didn't recognize the person as me; I took a double take and realized it was me! My body has changed in so many ways. Even my face sometimes - I don't recognize that person looking back at me. I still get an anxious feeling when pulling on my jeans - prior to surgery, I'd have to lay down on the bed to get them zipped. I'm down 3 sizes and my jeans are loose, but I still feel like the Fat Girl pulling on my jeans.
I flew on a plane recently and I felt that same nervousness as before - I don't want to slap someone in the face with my ass as I walk by them in the aisle. I could feel my heart race as I sat down and prepared to buckle the seat belt - OMG how many times did I worry I was going to need an extender. Here I am 60 pounds lighter, I fit in the seat and no risk of needing an extender, yet I'm still worried about it.
I know our perceptions of ourselves has to change - my perception of myself has been shaped over 20 years...I'm only 4 months into my journey (I count the month before surgery in that timeframe). I'm starting to like what I see in the mirror. I slather lotion on my body every day - I avoided looking at and touching my own body before. I can talk to people easier and I see their reaction to me is different as well - perhaps I don't have that "go screw yourself" look on my face anymore. I wear makeup and do my hair - I try to look nice every day.

Well said, LL!
I just booked a flight for my son and I to go abroad - and I booked a middle seat. I have never willingly sat in the middle but come June, I will. Why?
Because I fit in the seat. Inside it. I am nowhere near the sides. Even my arms are within the seat. No one who comes to sit next to me will look disappointed or disgusted at sitting next to me. I won't get all sweaty and hot from sitting with my arms pressed as close to my body as I can get them (which usually meant squeezing my boobs too!)
Woo hoo, go sleeve!

(((Hugs))) to you! I'll say this I know where you're coming from. I am a licensed therapist/clinician who has lap band and I gained some weight back BUT I've done a complete 180 and lost more weight than when I started and have changed my body.
Please inbox me and we can chat for support. I'm coming to you not as a therapist but fellow lap bander.
For many of us emotional eating is difficult and as stated above, doesn't matter which WLS you can trick it and eat past it. Have to work on those broken places in your heart and mind. I was going through some personal and weight stresses and began eatin ice cream and junk food. I had to stop, because I was killing myself all over again.
This thing is a lifelong journey. The falling off its te problem, what's important is that you get back up again!! Deal with the emotional eating and what's eating you first.

I'm not fat (on the outside) any more! I'm not skinny by any means, but I'm not fat. I weigh 157 pounds which is still far too much for my 5.3 frame, but I wear size medium tops and size 8 pants, which is officially smaller than the average American woman.
I am no longer shopping in the women's section.
I am no longer wearing the largest size in the ladies' department.
I pick up clothes in consignment shops and often have to reject them for being too big. ( WTF?!?!?!)
I fit in bathroom stalls and dressing rooms with room to spare.
I can walk through turnstiles/bus aisles/theatre rows front ways instead of turning sideways and sucking it in.
I no longer stress when some jackhole parks too close to my minivan when I can barely open my car door to squeeze in.
Every seatbelt fits.
I can put my handbag in my seat with me instead of on a different chair.
I can sit in a booth without my tummy and/or boobs smooshing up against the table.
People don't mind sitting next to me at the movies or in tight restaurants.
More people make eye contact/open doors/smile/initiate conversation with me than ever before.
I am no longer looking around to see if I am the biggest person in the room because I'm not. Ever. Not even in Zumba.
I can wear my leggings home from the gym and stop at the store without caring if I run I to anyone I know.
I could go on forever. I'm still a fat girl on the inside so this whole thing is very surreal. It's just finally starting to set in that after 20 years of being obese, I'm now just a regular sized fit mom (with some loose skin) who can do anything I fracking want to do because I gifted myself with the least easy "easy way out" I could have ever chosen to do.
Love love love. Love.

I just went to Macy's and bought two knit t-shirts, size XL. I started in August 2011 wearing 4X or 5X dreaming of buying things at Macy's!
One more- I was buying a wrist band at my Zumba class, when the lady selling it started to warn me that they didn't stretch much and were prone to snapping. Then, she looked at me and said, "Oh, you don't have to worry. You're smaller than me, and your wrists are tiny." I should have hugged her! She made my week!

I'm rethinking my goal weight, too. I've lost about 125. Initially, I wanted to lose 200. Now I'm not sure that will be a good or realistic weight for me. I definitely want to lose more than 125, but I think my original goal may be too small for my frame.

I just went to Macy's and bought two knit t-shirts, size XL. I started in August 2011 wearing 4X or 5X dreaming of buying things at Macy's!
One more- I was buying a wrist band at my Zumba class, when the lady selling it started to warn me that they didn't stretch much and were prone to snapping. Then, she looked at me and said, "Oh, you don't have to worry. You're smaller than me, and your wrists are tiny." I should have hugged her! She made my week!

I just went to Macy's and bought two knit t-shirts, size XL. I started in August 2011 wearing 4X or 5X dreaming of buying things at Macy's!
One more- I was buying a wrist band at my Zumba class, when the lady selling it started to warn me that they didn't stretch much and were prone to snapping. Then, she looked at me and said, "Oh, you don't have to worry. You're smaller than me, and your wrists are tiny." I should have hugged her! She made my week!

I just went to Macy's and bought two knit t-shirts, size XL. I started in August 2011 wearing 4X or 5X dreaming of buying things at Macy's!
One more- I was buying a wrist band at my Zumba class, when the lady selling it started to warn me that they didn't stretch much and were prone to snapping. Then, she looked at me and said, "Oh, you don't have to worry. You're smaller than me, and your wrists are tiny." I should have hugged her! She made my week!

Congratulations! You should be very proud of yourself!

You F****ing did it!!! YOU ROCK! That is success! and that makes you a success!
And yes you will know what slim feels like.....if you want it (I think you do).
You go girl!

Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I went on a Water slide! I always wanted to, but never made the weight limit. When I looked at the sign, I realized that I was about 30lbs under the limit. I climbed those steps, and kept waiting for someone to say that I couldn't do it. Did it, and lived to tell about it!!!
I was also able th shop at Old Navy, and didn't even have to buy the biggest size!

Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I went on a Water slide! I always wanted to, but never made the weight limit. When I looked at the sign, I realized that I was about 30lbs under the limit. I climbed those steps, and kept waiting for someone to say that I couldn't do it. Did it, and lived to tell about it!!!
I was also able th shop at Old Navy, and didn't even have to buy the biggest size!

Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I went on a Water slide! I always wanted to, but never made the weight limit. When I looked at the sign, I realized that I was about 30lbs under the limit. I climbed those steps, and kept waiting for someone to say that I couldn't do it. Did it, and lived to tell about it!!!
I was also able th shop at Old Navy, and didn't even have to buy the biggest size!

Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I went on a Water slide! I always wanted to, but never made the weight limit. When I looked at the sign, I realized that I was about 30lbs under the limit. I climbed those steps, and kept waiting for someone to say that I couldn't do it. Did it, and lived to tell about it!!!
I was also able th shop at Old Navy, and didn't even have to buy the biggest size!

Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I went on a Water slide! I always wanted to, but never made the weight limit. When I looked at the sign, I realized that I was about 30lbs under the limit. I climbed those steps, and kept waiting for someone to say that I couldn't do it. Did it, and lived to tell about it!!!
I was also able th shop at Old Navy, and didn't even have to buy the biggest size!

My favorite NSV's so far have been:
Not having to buy "plus size" clothing anymore
Trying on clothes and thinking "hey I look cute" instead of "I look like a fat cow"
Being able to sit wherever I want without worrying if I'll break the chair
Being able to sit in booths at restaurants (I didn't fit in them before)
Seeing my collar bone and feeling my ribs for the first time in my adult life
Going on rides at the carnival for the first time in almost 20 years
Being able to do things with my kids, like go to the zoo or even a long walk
Being told I look a lot younger now

I'm enjoying being able to sit on the floor with my legs folded and easily get up
I'm enjoying all the "hey skinny" comments even though I still have a long way to go before I'm truly skinny
Can't wait to cross my legs comfortably
I'm loving trying on clothes I couldn't fit before
I can see my collar bone!
My husbands glances
The proud looks from my parents
The inspiration I have been to others
The envy I've experienced from some
Giving my larger sized clothes to others
I'm beginning to enjoy running!
In addition to the numbers going down on the scale, I'm enjoying this journey, and all of the NSVs that come along with it! :-)