gowalking

You can tell by the posts above that there's no hard and fast rule about revealing WLS to a possible significant other. I openly dated a number of men over a time span of about a year before deciding to be exclusive with my current BF. We are together about ten months now. Of the probably ten or twelve dates I went on during the dating period, only two men knew about my surgery other than the BF. Both of these other men were guys I was dating for a few months and while I was not physically intimate with any of them, I felt there might be a connection and I wanted them to know this aspect of my life.

I also went to a bra fitter. Didn't need to go down much in cup size, just needed cups that contoured and held up the boobs. I went from a 42DD to a 32D and that's the big difference. Of course the bras cost a fortune but I look really good in my clothes and that's what counts. Out of clothes...well, that's another story.

what she said...lol. I have to pour them into my bra.

Congrats on starting your weight loss journey. Just so you are aware, everyone loses weight at different rates. There is no 'normal' except to say that 1-2 lbs a week is considered a good loss. Also..you're likely not hungry because you may be swollen from the surgery. Your hunger can come back very quickly which is why you have to have those fills till you really feel the band kick in like it's supposed to. Oh, and if you think your face looks thinner, than it probably is. Be aware that the scale can be a dangerous thing. Yes, it tells you if you are going in the right direction but it's a fickle piece of equipment and you can fluctuate constantly. Many folks don't bother with the scale and track themselves based on things like how clothing fits, or other ways besides the number that the scale provides. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

I'm in awe of you.

Big doings in June. Taking a family cruise from NY to Maine and Canada. The itinerary is not what's important. It's that all but one niece will be there. My sons, wives and their children. My folks, siblings and their families. Twelve in all. That's what I'm looking forward to!

I've done alot of cruising. Royal Caribbean is a better line than Carnival.

So yesterday at work, we had a staff meeting and sitting on the conference room table were two boxes of Dunkin Donuts. No one wanted to take one but I knew everyone was eyeing them. I went into the kitchen and brought back a bunch of knives and said these were for those interested in half a donut..or a quarter. I then proceeded to start to cut away a piece for myself and one of my colleagues said the following: 'Sure, just eat a little piece...spoken just like the size 2 that she is'. She meant it in a lighthearted way...not nasty at all and as this woman was a recent hire, she did not know me at any other size (btw...I'm not a 2) and just presumed I was a dainty eater and wouldn't have a problem with a piece of donut rather than the whole thing. Like I said in the topic title, this is the payoff for me. I want people to know me as I am now, and not as I was. The obese person I was before is hopefully dead and buried. I like this version of me so much more. It's not just that I look better...it's that I feel better, I'm more positive, more outgoing, more comfortable in my skin, etc, etc. No...life is not perfect. Weight loss has made my life easier but I still have issues, worries, concerns. It's just easier to deal with this stuff when my size is no longer a factor. This exchange yesterday gave me the hope that the size I am now will be forever, my new normal.

...and there you go. We were right, weren't we? Nothing to worry about and I see from your ticker that you have lost quite a bit. I bet you don't miss the problems that came with the excess weight.

Oh, I'll have to see if I can stream this episode. The BF was here last night so I didn't even think to watch this. He's not interested and when we're together, we try to watch something we are both interested in.

Don't give this guy the power to make you give in to bad food choices and destructive behavior. You are stronger than that. Forget about unwanted attention and make your focus on being healthy and beautiful to and for yourself.

I recall well, my struggle with grief and depression when my husband passed away unexpectedly at the age of 39. He left me more than 20 years ago but you never forget such a life altering experience. Our society tells us that we need to 'fix' ourselves when we are not happy. But you shouldn't be happy when you are grieving such a huge loss. What we need is emotional support...including professional help as friends and family often are lacking for a myriad of reasons. That at least, was my experience. I'm not saying that anti-depressants are a bad thing because they are not. I've been on them occasionally for situational depression and they helped. What I am saying is that there are times when we will be sad...and we have to just experience it and get through it. Thinking of you @@Kindle and hoping things get better once this anniversary is in your rear-view mirror.

One day at a time Gaylene. I am bouncing around the 130 mark. Up to as much as 135. This morning, 133.4. I need to get that fill....I want to be between 115 and 120 and I can't seem to get these 10-15 lbs. to come off.

Your starting stats are almost identical to mine. I lost 135 or so lbs. so our stats are still very similar. I met my boyfriend on a dating site and we've been exclusive for about nine months. He knew before we were intimate, that I had lost alot of weight and bless him, he's only said how attractive I am and never has said anything negative. He loves to 'love' me, so I believe him when he calls me sexy. I'm a bit older than you...57. My BF is age appropriate...he's 61. I really think that at our age, beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. All I know is that getting plastic surgery has gone way down on my 'to do' list. If for nothing else, this man has shown me that 'body improvement' does not mean we are not worthy of healthy and loving relationships.

There's no 'love' button so I had to reply. I LOVE this post!

What she said. Also...the OP's remark about 'spreading the word' is not such a good idea. If one is not ready to hear how to 'fix' themselves, they will not appreciate you trying to tell them. In my experience, men are mostly clueless or they know better than to say anything. Women however, notice everything. No way could I get away with losing nearly 150 lbs without the questions. I responded based on who it was, and how comfortable I felt. I've had a couple of obese people in my office who finally came to me privately and I gave them the truth as I know it's what they deserved. Others got varying versions of my story. And that's the point...I never lied..I just divulged information accordingly.

Have been on a couple of cruises since being banded and always come home having lost a pound or two. I'm sooo aware of eating smart because all around me, are folks eating poorly...and to excess. It's a constant reminder to me and I have no problem walking away. None. Going on a family cruise in June and will be chasing my one year old grandson all over the ship. Was a time that I couldn't even get off the damn boat when we got to port because I had such trouble simply walking. That is what will make this vacation so wonderful. Not the food. Absolutely not the food.

OK...you do know that if they showed what 'real' people who eat all that crap look like, they wouldn't sell any of it, right? These kind of rants will dissipate once you see how good you look and feel. Then you won't care that these commercials don't show the reality of what eating that type of food actually does to you.

We all have our baggage... I'm just happy for you right now.

I suspect that sentence is related to the fact that the surgery works on the body but not the head. Every day, you have to make the decision to eat clean. The surgery helps to keep to that decision but it's real easy to self sabotage after WLS same as any diet. I say this as a short term vet (3 years post WLS) who is struggling to stay on track. I had great restriction and lost 150 lbs. over the first 18 months but these last six months or so have been challenging and I've put back 10+ lbs.

You're overthinking this. No one is going to bat an eye if they realize you have food issues. Hell...we all have food issues. They just want to be sure that you're not certifiable.

FYI....I went into therapy at 100 lbs. down as I had body image issues. Could not recognize myself and it was very difficult to be happy with the weight loss when I had these other issues. Turns out, I needed her help for two years as I went from morbidly obese to now being petite. I recommend it for anyone who is losing a considerable amount of weight as it is very much a mental thing along with the physical changes.

My experience.... People who knew me when I was fat, thought I was getting too thin. People who didn't know me when I was fat, have never intimated I was too thin. It's all about perception. Feel free to rant, but truly...it's not worth it. I couldn't wait till folks stopped talking about my size and three years post banded, I'm there. Yes...friends and family recall me heavier, but they have gotten used to seeing me my current size, which is great as far as I'm concerned. And folks I've met post weigh loss, only know me as I am now...which is also great.

How wonderful! Congrats and great job!

Some hints from one who has been down this road... Don't overbuy. You will be so amazed that you fit in smaller sizes that you will be tempted to buy one in every color. You can't imagine how much stuff I bought, wore once or twice, and chucked into the Goodwill pile. Next...don't try to figure sizing. I wear anything from a 4 to a 12. Depends on the fabric, style, manufacturer, etc. Also...until you figure out what looks good on you, you'll buy some clunkers. I came home with stuff even now I can't fathom why. Awful...just awful. Lastly...being three years banded...and two of them being in regular sized clothes, you will start over time, to realize that you do fit in a small pair of slacks or a slim cut dress. You will stop feeling like a fraud and will leave the plus-size department in your dust. Just give it some time. Oh..and congrats. Being able to shop and have fun instead of dreading it, is a wonderful thing.