Dear Mr. Unwanted Facebook Interaction,

No. I am not married. My single status, however, does not mean I wanted anything to do with you. My participation in a group of coffee lovers did not invite what turned out to be over half an hour of painfully awkward social interaction. Your complements were unwelcome and frankly made me feel deeply uncomfortable, as did your casual trash talking of the apparently deceased mother of your sixteen year old son. (A son you threw out there apparently to somehow reassure me you were a good guy.) Your use of 'sweetie' when I refused your advances was certainly unappreciated, as was your assumption that I should fall over myself to be your friend simply because you found me attractive in a single photo (the only one you could see because my profile is locked down).

Thank you for reminding me why I prefer to wear large shapeless clothes and childish prints to ward off unwanted attention. Thank you for making my comfort impulse tonight be to go eat chips until I puke and weigh the value of my weight loss against the loss of my safe invisibility to creeps like you. Thank you for not backing off after I phrase 'I'm not interested' three separate times as politely as I can. Surely the forth time I would be more receptive to your ill placed attention because again, you found me attractive. And I should be flattered. And that should be all that counts. Nevermind that I am only 7ish years older than your child. Nevermind that you have no right to badger and belittle me for my lack of interest in you. Your self importance is all that matters. Your attraction. How blessed I should feel to have caught your attention.

Edited April 14, 201610 yr by siddarhi

@@siddarhi - - - Uh......I guess I missed something?

If there is a pervert on FB that won't go away, get in touch with the police department.

@"jane13"

I'm sorry, I was just being frustrated at the ridiculous encounters I was getting cornered into on Facebook. I've blocked and reported him, so it is over, it is just irritating that some individuals don't have the good sense to leave someone alone when they are asked and proceed to be completely inappropriate.

Edited April 14, 201610 yr by siddarhi

@@siddarhi - as long as you are ok. That idiot doesn't know where you live does he? Be alert, be safe.

Did you read the posts @@CowgirlJane was posting about the single woman in Wa? Look at trending topics...scary crap!

Well said siddarhi! I got exactly where you were coming from. People like that need to go to dating apps, not troll on Facebook looking for targets.

Glad you blocked him. People don't seem to want to accept a NO! Unfortunately, in our current social media climate there'll probably be five more that try to fill that gap. :-(

Don't give this guy the power to make you give in to bad food choices and destructive behavior. You are stronger than that. Forget about unwanted attention and make your focus on being healthy and beautiful to and for yourself.

A little counterpoint here -- if unwanted attentions make me overeat, that part's on me.

By which I mean I need to unwind that chain of reactions and come up with a non-eating way to deal with the stress.

Stress-eating is truly self-destructive. It doesn't do a damn thing to help me or to hurt anyone who's contributed to my stress.

P.S. Obviously, learning how to address this behavior isn't an overnight sensation. But it's really important in preparing for weight maintenance.

Another thing to remember, that I struggle with all the time, is that we do not have to respond or be nice to everyone. I am a preacher's kid and a people pleaser. I have had creep issues in the past on various social media and RL situations. (not to mention telemarketers!) There is nothing that says we have to continue to engage with someone who is not listening to us or is responding in an inappropriate way. I know its hard, but we can stop engaging. Its not fair for them to be A$$hats but we can let them have the last word. (I am really bad at this so this is as much a reminder to myself as a suggestion for anyone else.)

pam

Thank you all and yes, overeating is completely on me. When it comes down to it, it is I who decide whether or not to give into the impulse. I just hate that some @$$ feels the right to make me uncomfortable because he is entitled to my time.

I don't believe he knows where I live (my Facebook has everything hidden from anyone who isn't a friend) and no, I must have missed that but I'll check it out.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App