parisshel

Hi there, you are definitely in the right place. I was a very restrictive dieter, always putting myself through some kind of torture and beating myself up for not being able to sustain, the regaining plus some, the isolation. Getting that appetite monster off of my back has been amazing. I feel so free from something inside that I was constantly fighting against. I felt betrayed by my body. How could it get fat like that when I worked so damn hard? Now I feel synced up.
Where are you in your process? One thing I did before surgery was up my exercise. I didn't want to, but I did it and I'm really glad. I think it helped me emotionally to process everything on some other level plus it gave me something to step into right after surgery. I also got a therapist to help me work through my eating patterns and triggers. It's not like I hadn't done that before. I was 52 and had done a lot of work on myself. This time it was different, though, because in choosing weight loss surgery I was in a place of brutal self-honesty. It had come to that. Somehow this made it possible for me to see the whole thing as a giant step forward. I was ready to rescue myself. I was choosing myself first and giving myself the gift of weight loss surgery. It got me my life back.
Did I worry that I'd be the person it didn't work for? Sure. I think most of us thought that way because, after all, we had failed at everything else (grapefruit diet, cabbage diet, Eat Right For Your Blood Type, Weight Watchers, Atkins, Barry Sears, juice fasting, The Plan -- the this the that and the other, heck, I'm just getting started! I am so happy to be through with dieting. I am careful to listen to my body and to eat small portions at appropriate intervals. I can do this because my appetite is dimmed (see links below).
Best wishes to you -- keep us posted. Know that you are worthy and deserving of all good things.

Your story does not sound any different than any others....welcome to the club.
I'm 63 years old, and over the years have been on every diet you can think of...started out good with all of them, then failed miserably!!! That was because with every diet, it too self discipline, self motivation and will power to make it work. And when it came to food, I had none of that.
I needed surgical intervention...something to be altered physically to do what I could not do on my own.
Ask your self this.....WHY lap band surgery? WHAT do you expect to happen with the band? (and don't say to loose weight...that's a given) HOW do you expect the band to make you loose weight and fix those addictions?
These are questions I was asking the staff leading up to my surgery....
There is a reason we have to resort to surgery. It is because of all those things you mentioned....hopeless cases. And only surgical intervention can fix it.....least that's my story.
I went into this with expectations....and my Dr. concurred....so I would not settle for anything less...
Today, I have no head hunger, no cravings....it is impossible for me to over eat, but it does not matter because most of the time I have no hunger and very little interest in food or eating in the first place
If I try to eat more than the band will allow, it results in unpleasant things...so eventually I stopped thinking about overeating.....
If you burn your hand every time you put it in the fire, eventually it becomes second nature not to put your hand in the fire.
So yes... for me, the band did take care of all that you mention, for me....But in the beginning, first year at least, it was not easy...a lot to learn, much of it the hard way.....a very trying time...but I stuck with it, and learned I had to change in order for the band to do it's job.

First off, hugs to you !! Second off, I dont have some of the problems you have, im not bi polar, but have dealt wth depression. Not pretty. And who has' nt "failed" with diets ??? ( ME !!) Many of us here are stress eaters/emotional eaters too (ME !!!) ,it's not uncommon. Cranky from "dieting" , yep ! (ME !!!), and alot of others too. What Im trying to say is you're not the only one who goes through all of that so DON'T think that you're going to "fail" at WLS because of the past. I dont know what kind of WLS you're having but being banded was the smartest thing I could of done for myself, and honestly. Not. That. Hard. I just followed the Dr. s rules and the weight came off. The 5% daily inconvenience of being banded is NOTHING compared to the 100 % inconvenience of being overweight. A positive " can do " attitude will help you the most ! Good luck, and come back here for all the support you need !!!

I was a binge eater, a comfort eater, a yo-yo dieter. I ate. That was it! I ate when I was hungry. I ate when I wasn't hungry. I ate when I was already stuffed. I lived, breathed and thought food. I lied and cheated to hide my eating.
As the PP says, you have to switch from negative to positive. Not "I am going to fail" but "this is going to work for me ".
And don't judge it by a failure to do a liquid diet now! A liquid diet now is an unnecessary self-punishment - unless or until your doctor tells you that you must do it,
So what made the difference for me?
My doctor told me certain things stat were medically essential - like the post-op diet.
My doctor and my research showed me that breaking certain guidelines could seriously damage my health.
My band helped me eat slowly and carefully.
But most of all, I was 100% committed. I KNEW I was going to succeed.
The band only helps; it doesn't bring about weight loss - we do that by our choices. You have to be confident and positive.
I am a Brit and we don't go in for therapy! But I know you do in America. Why not see someone to help you prepare yourself?

When at perfect restriction, I enjoyed food much more than prior to being banded, because it no longer triggered compulsive overeating or cravings. It was very freeing to know I was satisfied with a small portion of my band-compliant foods.
When too restricted, I did NOT enjoy eating at all. My stoma was far too small to allow for even hot liquids to pass, making eating a dreaded (and painful) event. I would have to loosen my bra, hunch my shoulders inward, take a small amount of tea or Water, and suffer while it passed through the banded area. I once spent 1.5 hours trying to get down two tablespoons of tuna mixed with mayo.< /p>
You are still in the learning curve and it is normal you are mindful of bite and portion size. You will always be mindful of this because if you aren't, and you take a too-big bite, your band will remind you of its presence. But your mind will shift from being worried about what you are eating, to naturally taking small bites and chewing well. It won't be such a chore, because you will modify your eating behavior in response to your band's presence.
Once you are at your sweet spot, you should really enjoy your meals and the freedom from the diet mentality. Perfectly filled, the band will allow you to eat like a naturally-thin person: small portions which leave you full(ish), and no compulsion to keep on eating.

When at perfect restriction, I enjoyed food much more than prior to being banded, because it no longer triggered compulsive overeating or cravings. It was very freeing to know I was satisfied with a small portion of my band-compliant foods.
When too restricted, I did NOT enjoy eating at all. My stoma was far too small to allow for even hot liquids to pass, making eating a dreaded (and painful) event. I would have to loosen my bra, hunch my shoulders inward, take a small amount of tea or Water, and suffer while it passed through the banded area. I once spent 1.5 hours trying to get down two tablespoons of tuna mixed with mayo.< /p>
You are still in the learning curve and it is normal you are mindful of bite and portion size. You will always be mindful of this because if you aren't, and you take a too-big bite, your band will remind you of its presence. But your mind will shift from being worried about what you are eating, to naturally taking small bites and chewing well. It won't be such a chore, because you will modify your eating behavior in response to your band's presence.
Once you are at your sweet spot, you should really enjoy your meals and the freedom from the diet mentality. Perfectly filled, the band will allow you to eat like a naturally-thin person: small portions which leave you full(ish), and no compulsion to keep on eating.

There is no doubt in my mind that my afib, which involves both heart rate and heart rhythm, is due to my lapband. However, my lapband surgeon insists "he has never heard of something like this" happening, and my cardiologist has said that removing the lapband won't solve the problem because "once you have afib, you have afib for life."
So.
While I know that my lapband is responsible (my episodes are always related to food passing over the band...they never occur when I'm not eating), there is little I can do at this point except remain compliant with my beta blockers and heart rhythm medications, which I will now be on for life. I switched medications after my initial three months on them as the Sotalol had the most horrific side effects which were unacceptable to me (constant sleeping, hallucinations, severe depression, disorientation). My current combination is more acceptable in terms of side effects but still I'm not myself.
Not to mention that beta blockers curtail any opportunity to do sports or get a cardio workout since you can't get your heart rate up.
There are days I very much regret getting a lapband...not only because I now have this condition that is not minor, but also because of other complications that I am now reading about related to the band. I chose the band because there was long term data about its risks and benefits, but I am convinced that much of that data is garnered in Allergan's favor and any complications that fall in a grey area do not show up in the data. This would include afib (because the medical community can pass it off as something that may have occurred in any case) auto-immune diseases (again, one could develop these independent of a silicone object being placed inside one's body, but look at all the bandsters that develop life-threatening auto-immune diseases such as lupus and scleradoma--much higher than the general population).
I think I disregarded the possible complications inherent in WLS in my eagerness to find some solution to my longterm obesity. I never thought I'd fall on the wrong side of the statistics...indeed, no one ever does. But now here I am, with a heart that constantly reminds me of this decision that was wrong for me, and a lifetime of medications ahead of me.

Hi....so sorry for your troubles. I have had the lapband since 2011 and have experienced two episodes of Afib. The first one was last June 2014 and recently May 2015. Both times went to ER with very rapid skipping pulse beat. Pulse 125-140....scary feeling. Both times got back to a normal rhythm with meds given....beta blocker & Cardizem which I think is a Calcium channel blocker. Never thought it could be the band affecting me in this way...until my daughter questioned it. Does anyone have medical information showing a correlation of Afib and the lapband. Some mention the vegus nerve being the problem. Would like to know more. Any help would be appreciated. Looking into an ablation specialist and seeing a cardiologist presently. Thank you and God Bless. Chris

People are much nicer to me now than at my starting weight. It is human nature for most people to respond positively to what they perceive as a pleasant aesthetic. That's just the way it is even if it is unfortunate.
Before, people would never hold doors open for me, or chat with me at the market, or (for delivery men at work) linger in the office. Now (and I'm far from my ideal weight, but more normal-looking than I was) I'm no longer (at the worst) scorned or (at best) invisible.
At my starting weight, I always had to "convince" any new person I was meeting that I was smart, competent, knew my area of expertise well, etc. I had to do this quickly before their ideas about what a fat person was took over and they tuned me out. I never realized how I had to gear up for this battle each and every day until I starting losing weight and people no longer dismissed me from the get-go.
My fat life was a hard life. I didn't really see how hard it was until I starting losing weight.

People are much nicer to me now than at my starting weight. It is human nature for most people to respond positively to what they perceive as a pleasant aesthetic. That's just the way it is even if it is unfortunate.
Before, people would never hold doors open for me, or chat with me at the market, or (for delivery men at work) linger in the office. Now (and I'm far from my ideal weight, but more normal-looking than I was) I'm no longer (at the worst) scorned or (at best) invisible.
At my starting weight, I always had to "convince" any new person I was meeting that I was smart, competent, knew my area of expertise well, etc. I had to do this quickly before their ideas about what a fat person was took over and they tuned me out. I never realized how I had to gear up for this battle each and every day until I starting losing weight and people no longer dismissed me from the get-go.
My fat life was a hard life. I didn't really see how hard it was until I starting losing weight.

People are much nicer to me now than at my starting weight. It is human nature for most people to respond positively to what they perceive as a pleasant aesthetic. That's just the way it is even if it is unfortunate.
Before, people would never hold doors open for me, or chat with me at the market, or (for delivery men at work) linger in the office. Now (and I'm far from my ideal weight, but more normal-looking than I was) I'm no longer (at the worst) scorned or (at best) invisible.
At my starting weight, I always had to "convince" any new person I was meeting that I was smart, competent, knew my area of expertise well, etc. I had to do this quickly before their ideas about what a fat person was took over and they tuned me out. I never realized how I had to gear up for this battle each and every day until I starting losing weight and people no longer dismissed me from the get-go.
My fat life was a hard life. I didn't really see how hard it was until I starting losing weight.

My way is not necessarily a sensible or good way, but it is MY way and has worked, with a couple of blips, since I got to below my goal weight way back in 2007.
First of all, a lot of what you ask never applied to me. I didn't eat low carb, I was never in ketosis. I made healthy choices but from all food groups, I didn't totally cut out any foods. I didn't even really count calories apart from a monthly reality check.
When I reached my goal, for many years, I relaxed totally but watched the scales like a hawk. If they went up by 5lbs, I went back to basics until they went. Basically I ate like all my friends who have never had weight problems eat. I ate without thought for four or five weeks, I dieted for a week. And that is all it took.
Over the last couple of years (I am now 9 years post-op) I have let it slip a bit and I am currently working at losing a 20lb gain - most of it has gone.

Great post Carol. Really great post. I started therapy when after losing about 75 lbs. I couldn't recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. I've gone through even more changes since then. I had my crumbling hips replaced and in time, was feeling like a normal person with normal mobility. This was an experience new to me after having mobility issues for years. Then it became all about the outside...suddenly wearing nicer clothing, makeup, changing my hairstyle...and yes...the other big change. I realized after some time that men were looking at me. Yes..I've been married and yes, I'd had other relationships. But nothing in a very long time and these days, I'm back in the dating world..with all those bad triggers out there that could derail my success.
So...to the therapist I go every Tuesday to work on the core behaviors that helped to make me obese in the first place and to learn how to not become obese again. One more thing to the OP...you will be a different person and people will treat you differently. Make sure you get help with this if you feel you need it. Nothing should stop you from your goal even if that is your own self.
Lastly...check out my before/after pic. Wouldn't you treat me or see me differently when you compare what I used to look like and what I look like now...and how my life has changed because of it?

@gowalking....wow. I am so impressed at your transformation. It's completely inspirational to me. I know the majority of the reason I am doing this is for health, but I truly do want to feel for once, that I am being treated with the same respect afforded most "average/normal" sized people in this world. I need that feeling.
I think of all of this as a big adventure. Not much is holding me back anymore. I even stopped smoking a year ago, so that no longer plays a part in my life, or stops me from travel or whatever I want to do. No longer will I have to ask for a seat belt extender, or see the disappointed face of the person next to me on a plane, because he/she knows I'm going to overflow into their personal space.
I see a therapist twice a month, and for many months we've been working on why I eat, what my triggers are, and how I got this way. Mind you, I have been big since I was very young, and we've worked out what we think is the most likely cause. I believe I gained weight to protect myself from men.
So now that I have that figured out and have done extensive work on that area, it's time to start thinking about what I am going to do when I do start getting attention from men. It's going to happen, it's not like it doesn't happen to me at this weight, it does. I imagine it will increase though, and that's going to be interesting to me, how I handle it.
Thanks for the great reply! Very insightful.
I personally would not treat you differently, but that's because I understand the shoes you were in. You were a beautiful woman and still are, from my perspective.
But believe me I know, from being out there in this world....just how differently I am treated. Sometimes people can't even keep their mouths shut and say the most demeaning and cruel things to me.
I even had a gf in college who was so livid at the fact that a guy she and I both liked, ended up getting together with me. Many years had gone by and it bothered her so much finally one day she looked at me and said...."Look at you, and look at me (her thin beautiful self), it's obvious who he should have chosen." I will never forget how hurt I was. I also will never forget the feeling I had that he did actually choose me over her, even though she was beautiful and thin, she was clearly ugly on the inside. I guess that guy chose the better of the two, me.
I know this...all the discrimination, the looks, the disgust I see on people's faces....
That's about to change.

Allray, just my 2 cents worth, people DO look at you differently but in a "friendlier " way. I know its weird to think about, but Ive noticed that people approach me with a better, nicer attitude since loosing weight. I also pay much more attention to my appearance, making sure I have on nice clothes, and am well groomed. Never sloppy, or shabby or an "I give up attitude. " Because I send out the message that I respect and care for myself, people respond the same. ( And trust me, it ain't all bad ! ) You will be out of the shadows, so the more you send a message of self respect, the more respect you'll get from others. Good luck !!

I don't think "nerves" would have this much of an effect on a band. Sure, "nerves" might provoke a temporary bit of restriction, but not like what you are describing. If this were happening to me, I'd get in and check for a band slip. I would hope my surgeon would suggest an x-ray or other means of evaluating before jumping to the "must have band removed" option. If a slip did occur, I'd rather explore repositioning rather than outright removal, if possible.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this complication and please let us know the outcome. You've done very well and I hope you will be able to keep your band.

@@B-52 was that aimed at me? If so, I totally agree. All we can do is share our experiences. The first thing to try if the band seems tight is always, try to eat more carefully and slowly. But I will always continue to say that whatever the reason for getting stuck regularly, it is dangerous. If eating more slowly solves the issue, great, but if it doesn't or if the individuals simply cannot remember to take extra care, they are too tight.
Being tight is my personal paranoia. When I was banded in 2006, everyone was very enthusiastic about the band but gradually over the years, more and more of those banded around the same time as me started to develop problems, obviously I have lost touch with many, but at a guesstimate, only around 30% are still happily banded. Of my actual online friends, the ones with whom I am still in regular contact, only two are still banded. Many have revised to other Wls, several have permanent damage to the oesophagus or the diaphragm.
For some being tight was the cause of the problem, for others it was the symptom. But whichever it was, it was important to get it checked.
So I will continue to say, being tight is dangerous. Ask your doctor. Don't leave it. Don't wish for it. I will continue to say, in line with all the latest research, the band should not physically stop you eating.

talk with your doctor. with the band you need to learn how to stop eating. and to always chew your food and slow down. the band will not stop you from overeating. it isn't better to be to tight. a whole lot of complications can start if you don't follow the protocols or are to tight. your doctor should be asking you questions at each appointment and be able to deduct if a fill is needed. you don't want to be the bandster that goes in for a fill just to go back in and have the fill removed. practice on being band compliant. I promise it will save you.

This is an excellent post and something banding surgeons should ask their patients. While I do not have severe allergies, I know that my band's restriction is much more pronounced when I have a bad head cold, due to the post nasal discharge, etc. I makes sense that all those secretions would plug up the stoma. Thankfully for me it is only temporary; I'm sorry this is something you have to deal with constantly. But this is something doctors should ask, and then orient these patients to a different WLS so they don't risk complications due to a too-narrow stoma.

I am assuming you haven't had your surgery yet, then? If this is any comfort, after my surgery (5 months ago), I can now walk through a grocery store and it DOESN"T tempt me! Nothing is appealing, so I just get the necessaries. I shop also for a husband who doesn't gain; ice cream, treats...but the BIG difference is...I DON'T CARE!!!!!! I buy them, into the cupboard or freezer they go, and I'm done with it. AND I DON'T CARE!!!!! He eats it in front of me, and I'M NOT TEMPTED!!!!!!
I find when I shop for me, I shop the perimeter of the store, instead of down the aisles, because what I eat isn't found in the aisles. It is found in the dairy, meat and produce sections. I only go down the aisles for my hubs. AND I DON'T MIND!!!!!!
I'm not saying I'm a saint and don't IMBIBE once in awhile, because I do and I CAN! But for the most part, I stick to what's LEGAL! AND I DON'T MIND!!!!!!!
Hope this helps.....a little.......but it is true.

While you are exploring ways to eliminate these roadblocks, you could get a head start on the pre-op process. Many of us are / were required to be on a six month or three month low carb diet so that we could begin to develop new habits to carry us through a successful recovery and weight loss.
This includes concepts such as:
Drink no calories, but do drink Water until your eyeballs float.
Eating low carb is easier if you reduce or avoid foods that are starchy or white in color, such as bread, rice, noodles, biscuits, cake, pies, etc. Dessert needs to be an apple, not apple pie with ice cream.
Try to get in 60-80 grams of Protein a day.
Try to not eat anything made in a factory. Eat real food from the perimeter of the grocery store.
Use a smaller plate. Weigh and measure your portions. My fitness Pal is just one of a number of websites that have tools for helping you track what you are eating. This is so useful because it forces you to be aware of just exactly what is going into your mouth.
Don't become part of the sofa. If it is difficult or painful to exercise, you can at least get up every hour or so and move around. David Stamps has several videos for people who face challenges to exercise. I have his Chair Boxing, Chair Salsa, Chair Tai Chi, and Exercises for the Bedfast.
Leslie Sanson has a video Walk Your Belly Flat which consists of three fifteen minute segments where you cover approximately one mile of walking. This can even be done standing in place if that is all the room you have. On bad orthopedic days, I do it standing in place while holding on to my walker frame. On good days, I do my Sweating to the Oldies.
Sometimes I just crank up loud crazy music and move and groove while doing my housework. On nice summer days, I do laps in the back yard. There is a lot you can do without having to spend money on a gym. I can do lunges in the house holding onto a gallon of laundry soap in each hand. I do push-ups off the third stairstep because I have trouble getting up and down from the floor. I do squats at the kitchen chair. I can do backward rows with the same gallons of soap. Plus there are all kinds of free videos on YouTube.
Anyway, hang around here for other great ideas. If there is a certain topic you want to explore, go to the search box and type it in. There is a small arrow that will open a drop down menu. Click on that and then click on Forums, then the Search magnifying glass.
I hope you continue to pursue a great surgeon who will help you addreess your issues. Good luck. Visit us often.

I don't think "nerves" would have this much of an effect on a band. Sure, "nerves" might provoke a temporary bit of restriction, but not like what you are describing. If this were happening to me, I'd get in and check for a band slip. I would hope my surgeon would suggest an x-ray or other means of evaluating before jumping to the "must have band removed" option. If a slip did occur, I'd rather explore repositioning rather than outright removal, if possible.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this complication and please let us know the outcome. You've done very well and I hope you will be able to keep your band.

You have to decide which lifestyle suits you. Do you need malabsorption to help you? Do you need to take NSAIDs?
Please bear in mind that I am a very happy and very successful bandit now 9 years post-op. I do not regret my band, would do it all over again and if I ever have to have it removed, I would hope to have a replacement.
When I was banded in 2006, it was a miracle surgery. And for some people, who accept that they will still have to work hard, it is just that. It was and still is for me. But over the years it has become clear that serious complications necessitating further surgery are much more common than originally thought, some of these are avoidable by careful eating and by not keeping the band tight; unfortunately others are beyond our control.
We used to be warned about band slips, leaks and about ( very rare) erosion into the stomach tissue but it turns out that a build up of scar tissue round the band (causing it to tighten) is quite common. It can be very difficult to get the right level of restriction and some people are tempted to keep it tight enough to physically limit food, in fact it was once thought this was how it should be. But this causes food to back up into the oesophagus and that risks problems such as oesophageal dysmotility which may be irreversible. It can also damage the vagus nerve.
Quite a number of doctors have stopped implanting bands as they found the removal rate was unacceptably high and it was too easy not to lose enough weight. Revision from band to sleeve is not uncommon!
We still need lots of will power. The band makes it easier by dimming hunger, but it does nothing for head hunger and, contrary to popular opinion, it does not and should not physically stop us eating. If it does it is too tight!
Having said all that, I love my band, I know many successful long term bandits in real life. My own experience has been good and so has that of almost all those I actually know and have met.
Equally, I know people who have had major successes AND serious complications with both sleeve and rny. But I haven't had those surgeries myself so will not speak for them!

Terry, I'm sorry to read that you had complications and the band is no longer useful. I don't have an opinion on revision but I just wanted you to know that I always appreciated your posts and support for the bandster cohort here.

"Wow! It's hard to imagine that you don't know how rude you are."
"I'd hate to think you thought that was a compliment."
"You really didn't think that comment through before you said it out loud, did you?"
Follow any of those up with a patronizing "bless your heart" smile snd walk away. Or tell her to suck your ass, your choice.