parisshel

Well, their must be a way to stop this maddness.
I mean if people only reed there posts the world wood be a better place.
Write?

I hope the people reading this know how difficult it is to just keep reading one long sentence it hurts my eyes and so I have stopped reading them which is a shame as they might have something worth saying but on the other hand maybe they don't please give them some full stops @BigViffer
Ta.

weight and wait

cloths and clothes

Many people posting on here appear to need this. I have plenty, so I will share with anyone who needs it!
"
"
There. It's a big chunk of spaces and line breaks! You can use these to end paragraphs, begin new sentences and even change the thoughts you are trying to communicate!
But wait! There's more! Take advantage of this one time offer and I will throw in the complete set of standard English punctuation!
, . ? ! & ( ) : " ; '
And if you order in the next 5 minutes, I will show you how to disable the CAPS LOCK KEY!
All joking aside, I realize this is a web forum and it is meant to be more casual and laid back, but if you put just a little effort into making your posts easier to read, you will not only get more replies to your threads, you will most likely get better replies as well.

As an added feature, how about an explanation of the difference between "lose" and "loose?"

Drewr,
I had my revision in May, so, I am approaching my 4th month. I feel great! I had the lapband 4 years and can report that the differences between the lapband and sleeve are substantial. I don't miss the getting stuck episodes if I didn't chew my food well, with the band then the slimming or upchucking that followed, measuring my meals assuring that I didn't overeat, the night coughs when I would wake up choking cause I either ate too late or it could be a symptom of something gone wrong with the band, the foaming that I'd spit out continuously when my allergies were at their worst, pain in my port area if I put too much pressure on the torso area, the feeling that everything was about to explode with upchucking due to a bout of stomach flu or food poisoning, the worries that my band could erode into my stomach or the band could slip at any time, ending up in the emergency room and the ER staff not knowing what to do with a lapband patient, the fills and unfills, the uneasy mental feeling of having a plastic device and tubing inside my body, the constant fear of band removal due to complications etc.
Sure there are issues and concerns with the sleeve, but, far less than the band and so far I am a very content recipient of the sleeve. The very best with sleeve is I don't have to measure my meals. When your banana shaped stomach is filled, that's it and no more! The only down side for me is that some sleeved patients will develop heartburn and I'm one of them. It's very minor and nothing that Pepsid AC doesn't take care of. Doctor tells me that this may very well go away. So far, I have no regrets! I feel very privileged to have experience both band and sleeve and again by far I recommend the sleeve over lap band! Pardon all my repeats from my previous responses to this post, but, this last one has a bit more detail that I wanted to share with Drewr.
I made a promise that I would never bash the band system because it saved and changed my life and I'm very grateful for it, however, I will share the truths and differences between the two and of course these are the truths that apply to me and my journey. Hope this helps. jake

My understanding is that it's somehow hormonal (and I'm assuming ghrelin is the hormone). At least that's what my favorite Dr Weiner says. He says while everybody assumes pouches and sleeves get stretched out and cause weight gain, studies show after the honeymoon period at around 18 months and then a year or two out, hormonal changes that happen naturally over time cause us to become hungrier and somehow allow a little more volume to be eaten. Though he didn't say WHY it happens. Anyway, he said there have been studies proving those are the causes of weight regain, not stretching (and obviously diet). I'll have to see how good my Google - fu is and see if I can find some of those studies to answer why it may happen.

You know who says that? People who don't know what "extrapolatability" means.... I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Some days I almost have a defeatist attitude about it, thinking "I'm going to enjoy being thin while I can". But then I get my determination face on and think I just CAN'T go back. I'm just going to have to take it one day at a time, almost like an addict--no, JUST like an addict has to approach their sobriety. I can't worry about the 'what ifs' and worry about the right now. And right now, as of today, I've excerised and eaten right. And that's the plan for tomorrow, too, but I'll take that on when tomorrow comes. I just won't live in constant fear of regain. I can't. I won't.

Anyone who has read my posts knows that I'm pretty upbeat and positive about weight loss surgery in general, and the sleeve in particular. That's why it pains me to share the results of a new study that is not terribly optimistic (links below). With that being said, I think what this means is that we need to be put even more energy into getting all the way to goal weight, and then be even more diligent about maintaining it for the rest of our life. Otherwise, some of the weight will come back and bring co-morbidities along for the ride – especially diabetes. So hard as it may be, my suggestion to myself and everyone else is to remember that there is no finish line! We have to stay ultra-focused on our healthy eating programs forever. Of course we already knew that, but this study really brings it home. So let's use that as extra motivation to succeed!!!
Washington Post Synopsis
JAMA abstract of the study results

That would be me back in 2012. I planned to get the lap band, and started the 6 month pre op diet. I lost about 25 pounds during the first 4 months and talked myself out of the surgery. I justified that WLS was just too extreme.
From 2012 until December 2014 I continued to surf this site and research WLS. I attempted Qsysmia (spelling?) during that time, but gained the weight back when I couldn't afford the pills. I knew then that I would need a tool that stayed with me. A constant reminder.
Fast forward to 2014 and 40 pounds heavier, I was still unable to keep the weight off. The reality hit me that WLS was no more extreme than being 120 pounds overweight. I went back to my surgeon and listened that what he had originally recommended to me - sleeve. I started the journey again with a resolve that this was the right choice for me. There are days I wish I did not wait from 2012 until 2014, BUT I know that I was not ready. So, if there is doubt then maybe you are not ready. Take your time and wait until you know it is the right thing for you to do.
My surgery is scheduled for 9/30/15 and the battery of tests and visits that are required by my insurance has left me with the best possible picture of my overall health going into this. It has really turned out to be a good thing.
Good luck to you on whatever you decide.

I think many of us lost weight while waiting for surgery but most of us know what you likely already do. For someone who has the disease obesity, losing it is the easy part. Keeping it off is where we all fall down.
Having weight loss surgery gives us another tool in our tool box to help in not gaining it back.
You will absolutely work your behind off to lose this weight. In the end every pound that comes off, comes off for good if you follow the plan.
My biggest fear is gaining my weight back. I know that I can never have the same eating habits I once did and be successful. The time you take now to change those habits will make things easier for you post WLS.
Trust me, slipping back into old habits is not easy to break but having the tool definately makes it much easier. I would have already gone off plan and started gaining back if it were not for everything I have learned about nutrition and had my grouch pouch kick my butt if I misbehave.
Good luck to you as you figure out what you are going to do. For me, I wish I would have done it 15 years ago before I damaged my spine and joints.
I would definately not have WLS if you are truly not ready. You will only be disappointed.

So I'm 26 now I recently sleeved, and this topic is WLS related. But since there are a lot of women here who are/were overweight and struggling with their weight, I thought I would ask a question about MEN. Can anyone relate to this problem?
I have been everwight since I were a child and this really affected my confidence. I'm still kind of a pretty-face girl, and men do hit on me from time to time (not that often, but it does happen). And yet i usually reject them right away, even when there is a certain physical attraction. I just assume they are approaching me cause the think I'm an easy target - 'obviously a chabby girl won't miss that kind of opportunity' kind of thing. I know it's pretty stupid sometimes, but then, it seems to me men often are much bolder and daring with overweight girls.
So from time to time it makes me think how many opportunities of meeting great men I missed because of my low self-confidence. Does anyone have/ did have the same issues?

I understand what you are talking about. I have struggled with weight all my life. I have been told that I am beautiful, hot, gorgeous....but I don't see that. I have always avoided looking into others eyes because of my lack of confidence. Sometimes, I feel pretty when my hair is done, makeup on, and dressed up. Then I see other healthy thinner women and say to myself "what was I thinking, I don't have a chance" I have an extremely hard time with taking compliments. I have been married for the past 10 yrs and my husband loves me for me and is supportive with anything I do. I don't feel sexy or desirable at this weight and he knows that and he compliments me all the time, but I don't believe what he says. I am working on trying to love myself, but when I look in the mirror, I see so many flaws and wonder if others see those too. It would be nice for once to walk in a room and turn heads just to feel desirable. I have tried therapy, and don't feel like I get anywhere with that. Some men, love bigger women, or women with meat on their bones. My husband met me and I was more overweight then, than what I am now. He told me he didn't like anorexic women. Self confidence will improve once we see the physical changes. The part that is harder will be the psychological changes that will need to match.

I always felt the same way. I guess it's hard to know a guy's true intentions, since very few would come out and say they are just scamming for an easy target. I bet some had genuine good intentions though! Maybe give some of these guys a fair chance, and you might be able to tell fairly quickly who is interested in you as person. But, consider being aware of men who "like big women". If that's their preference they may not be supportive of your weight loss process.

My situation was the death of my spouse but I understand you when you say you are sick of being in pain and afraid. So was I my friend. We try all kinds of things to fast track grief but unfortunately, if you don't experience it however you have to, you will not be able to accept it and move forward in a healthy manner.
For all intents and purposes, you are going through the death of your marriage. You will have to mourn and grieve and it will take time. Work with a therapist who will help you navigate this emotional minefield. I did and I don't know if I would have made it without her.
Know that some wounds cut so deep that the scar remains no matter what. I didn't date for 15 years because I was afraid of losing someone I loved again. I finally got up the strength to try to let someone in my life and while I'm in a relationship now, I still fear the loss. It will always be there. Your pain may always be there as well. You will just have to learn to live with it and not let it define you.
Hugs to you and wishing you only the best in this long and difficult journey you face. Try to remember that she sounds like a wonderful person who might evolve into a great friend one day. If not, at least you are a better man for having had her in your life.

@@Pinkgirl1234, although I'd agree with you for many couples in my situation, you are grossly mistaken. I appreciate your willingness to do the unpopular, go against my wishes and 'tell it like it is' - no sarcasm, I really admire your commitment to authenticity. However, I hope you'll agree (and if you don't, oh well) that you don't quite understand the dynamics of my marriage once I get the chance after work tonight to write out our current resolution. Short version - we'll both be finding new exclusive partners when we're each ready as individuals, divorcing at that time, but maintaining our incredible friendship through it all. I'll even likely help write her OK-Cupid (or whatever service she uses) profile and walk her down the aisle - and vice versa. And yes, she really and truly is just figuring this out now - I don't know how deeply part of the LGBTIQ community you are or aren't, but it's a thing, it happens, and it's not anybody's fault. As a society, all we can do is accept that the experience of folks who discover their sexuality "late" in life (keep in mind, we're significantly younger than you probably think we are - we both graduated high school and college very early and were married at an age most could call unconscionable) might not reflect our own but is still real for them, and support and love those around us in spite of not understanding. But seriously, your outrage on my behalf is weirdly comforting . I will say though that your fervor did have the effect of making me feel silenced by you rather than helping me 'find my voice.' For what it's worth.
@@katladee, she does, I do too, and thank you! You've been a lovely support! As have all of the folks on here.

I had lap band for 4 years, and developed prolapse then 9 months later a slip with horrible heartburn and reflux. I have had it removed, and initially wanted the sleeve but my surgeon said that a sleeve would make the reflux worse due to the high pressure a sleeve causes. Banding is a restrictive procedure and so is sleeve. He told me weight loss would be slower with sleeve going from restrictive to a restrictive. He also said sleeve would be more risky after banding and would put me at greatest risks for leaks and it would be a more complicated procedure. Plus once they remove your stomach, it is gone forever. With bypass, you can keep your stomach and it is reversible, not easily and not done often but it can be done. After doing research, I found out he was right. He told me that RNY has been performed since the 1970's and there is alot of research. He also said that I could do the sleeve and run the risk of heartburn and possible 75 pounds loss with diet compliance and exercise, and if the heartburn gets to be too much to revise to RNY......no thx, don't want heartburn, and don't want to keep having surgeries. He said I could lose about 100 more pounds with RNY and weight loss would be a bit easier with diet and exercise. I am choosing RNY and in the process of meeting insurance requirements, for bypass in late October or early November. As far as making a choice, this choice should be yours because it will be happening to your body. Do more research on both procedures. These forums are great for all opinions, but everyone is different and what may work for some, may not for others. Get 2nd or 3rd opinions, and gather as much info to help you feel comfortable in your choice. I truly wish you the best in whichever you decide.

you bet your sweet bippy it's work. I tried casual dating as well and it's not for me. I am trying to make sure I am liking the man I'm now exclusive with instead of being 'in love' with 'being in love' if you get my drift. So far, we have alot in common and I enjoy his company. There's also stuff we do not have in common and I plan on trying new things, but not doing things I don't enjoy. I'm too old and jaded for that. So far, it's working but had I not met this guy, I might be right behind you when it comes to the online dating. It's not fun...the idea is to get through as many crappy or boring dates as possible in the hopes of finding a gem among the rocks and debris.
Sounds like your plan will work for you so I think you should do what feels right and the hell with everything else.

First of all, fear is normal. I think we'd all be concerned if you joined saying "I'm not afraid at all!!". Deciding on WLS is a big deal. It's a gigantic life change. It's permanent. It throws your entire life out of 'norm' into a new normal.
I don't think that the surgical plan from sleeve to RNY should be a game-changer. You will still get amazing results from a RNY. I had mine 8 weeks ago and am down 31 pounds since surgery and 51 pounds since the pre-op diet. I had some extreme anxiety before my surgery - one day I'd be super excited, the next day I'd be freaking out and wanting to run and hide. However once the day came, I just did it. And I don't regret one single thing about it. Recovery wasn't bad AT ALL. Slowly introducing foods back wasn't horrible at all. The entire process has been so much better than I thought it would be. Yes there are moments of difficulty...but in the big picture, they are just that - Moments. Not hours, not days, not weeks of hating my body. They are mere moments of self-pity. I would have been way more nervous about the sleeve!! I was told that there's greater chance of leaking and infection in the sleeve procedure. The RNY is the 'gold standard' and the procedure that's been practiced for the longest period of time. Feel confident in that - hundreds of thousands of people have had it....and lived to tell about it!!
You will enjoy this forum - it's very supportive and there are hundreds of people who have been right where you are.

Even more than your successful physical transformation, I admire your successful mental transformation. You'll end up with a fantastic partner, of that I'm sure.

Even more than your successful physical transformation, I admire your successful mental transformation. You'll end up with a fantastic partner, of that I'm sure.

Even more than your successful physical transformation, I admire your successful mental transformation. You'll end up with a fantastic partner, of that I'm sure.

So, I'm actually two days late posting this because I thought my first plastics surgiversary was next week. I had a breast lift/augment and abdominoplasty done on 8/20/14 and this was my first and favorite of the three plastics surgeries that I had over the last year. I was always a chubby kid so never in my life have I had a flat stomach- there was always this little fat roll (or a big fat roll or rolls depending on my weight). Now that I am at a year, all of the swelling is gone. I'm a little over 5 months out from my last surgery, so I know what my final result is and I look like a very different person. I can wear tight clothing, because there's no skin or fat to be pinched and I can feel like I really look like a normal person now, instead of a fatty or a former fatty.
Also, when the first boyfriend I have had in a very long time decided to be a complete tool this week, I had no problem walking away. I didn't date anyone while I was really fat, but even when I was a little larger (145-160ish) and I was younger, I always believed that I wasn't good enough because I was fat, I was saggy, and I was someone that no one would ever be proud of being seen with. In the end any relationship that failed was because I was worthless, because on the outside I was ugly. I feel shallow saying that the sleeve and plastic surgery corrected that, but to a certain extent it did. I'm still self conscious about my brachioplasty scars and part of me wonders if when his friends saw my arm scars they made fun of him and that's why he was awful to me....but I think that's just me being paranoid. Even if it isn't being paranoid, the scars are way better than the old wings and I am working on accepting that.
I am 126 pounds on most days, I wear a size 0-2 pants and xs dresses and shirts, I have no health issues, I am athletic, I am completely self-sufficient and I do well, I have nice homes and nice cars, I have a high IQ, a doctorate level of education, and I am, I believe, a person who is mostly kind and of some value to the world....and a guy was still mean to me. Before I would have said, well duh, it's because you're fat, you're saggy, and you're embarrassing to be seen with, and I would have discounted all of the good things about me purely because on the outside I was worthless. Now I can say...well, sucks for him. For the first time in my life the end of a relationship doesn't mean I wasn't good enough because of what I look like...and the 20K I paid for my sleeve and the 40K I paid for plastics end up being priceless, because not seeing myself as worthless on the outside, has done really good things for not feeling like I'm worthless on the inside.
So...happy plastics surgiversary to me.

I can totally understand your view here, which is completely legitimate based on your experience with the band. Believe me, I have had life-altering complications with mine.
But! For anyone reading this thread who is considering a band, I think it would be prudent to say the following:
--My fills do not hurt at all. They are completely painless. My fill-guy uses a numbing agent prior to sticking me. So if you can ask for this and they have it, it is useful for patients who can't tolerate the stick of a needle.
--It is essential to integrate that any WLS will cost one time and money if one is to be successful with it. For bandsters, there may be more of a time-investment, in that we have lifetime followup, but really...it isn't any more time than we use to spend planning and executing our overeating moments, right?
Again, I'm not trying to contradict what you are feeling....your experience has been a bad one (as has mine), but it would be a disservice to any readers out there to leave them with the impression that fills are intolerable and that the band followup is not worth the time and money spent.
Good luck with your revision.