DeLarla

It's those damn pheromones! But seriously, this brings me to something a really hot guy told me back in the old dating days. We had been "dating" for a couple months before it occurred to me that our entire relationship was in the bedroom. When I asked why we never went out, he was very honest. He said sex with me was better than all the skinny girls put together, and all guys love sex with fat girls but they're too embarrassed of what their friends will think. He found me extremely desirable but was embarrassed to be seen with me. He also believed the reason heavy women are so good in bed is because they are so desperate that they give the best blowjobs, which is something I never even did for him, so he apparently had a lot of big girl sex for that comparison study. That made me open my eyes to all the different guys that passed through my life in my 20s. I was a prude back then (probably why the wild woman came out later.) Lots of hot guys tried getting me in bed but it was rare to be asked out on a real date. So that guy hurt me terribly by what he said, but he actually helped me tremendously at the same time. I stopped getting used that day - from him and all the other guys that were too embarrassed to be seen with me. The sad thing is I was about a size 16 or 18. For a tall girl, that's not extremely huge. I look at pics and WISH I looked that awesome now.

(Tick tock, tick tock... I can't stand the suspense.)

I think I win the prize for knowing the most band doctors one-on-one. They all disagree at many levels, but the one thing they agree on completely is that erosion happens. Lopez appears to have the most erosions, but he also has the most patients. She went 1.5 years with no fill because she was doing great. Then the temporary port problem added to the weight gain made her decide to get a fill. Going to Mexico from here is a major ordeal, kill 2 birds with one stone. That's when he did the endoscopy and found erosion. I do know that port infection and erosion are related. She didn't mention that though, but since I'm the Queen of Port infections I happend to know that little diddy. I'm not sure if she's related to the person you're talking about. This is posted on the Vegas Bandster board, so it's not like I'm posting something private. I think we all need to know every thing.

I talked to a Bypass patient of Dr. Billy and she was thrilled, and she said all his other patients are thrilled. I wonder how much has changed with Bypass over the last couple years. I voted "yes" I'd have it. Then again, I'm a woman that changes my mind with the tides and moons.

My eyes were barely open when I wrote that, but I'm not allowed to delete my posts, darn. I agree that his marriage was over, and he's using the affair as an excuse to get out. There's a fairly large percentage of the married population that can't even have sex. Marriage shouldn't be about sex - the sex is a bonus. Think about sexual inadequacies, impotency, active STDs, or any sexual dysfunction. If a couple is in love and the man can no longer get an errection, does the woman leave him? Not if she loves him. What if a wife has genital herpes? People in love find ways to show affection other than sex. The ass cheated. Period.

If you were required to have your Band removed for any reason, and your doctor said you could not have another band, would you allow him to convert you to a gastric bypass?

One of the Vegas Bandsters just lost her band due to erosion. She didn't have any symptoms and was beginning to gain weight. She went 1.5 years with no fill but felt her port was different, maybe tipped. She had a bruise on her port that looked infected but cleared up, but an endoscopy revealed erosion. A popular Tijuana doctor placed her band (not Lopez) but they don't know why she eroded since she truly was the perfect bandster. It's not my business to reveal her name or doctor, but we all have the right to know when erosion pops its ugly head.

I think it's time for an appearance from the Wench. Where is she?

Funny you should mention hubby. The day I met his parents (1.5 decades ago) was a nightmare from hell. His dad was watching the way I spent my own money and told Chris to cut me off. I told his dad to F off. Not that exact word, but close enough. His tiny late mom approached me with fire in her eyes and announced, "Nobody talks to George that way!" I looked two feet down, and breathed firey words into her face, "Nobody talks to ME that way." She huffed off and I smiled and played some poker. Poor Chris didn't know what to do with any of us, so we went home and left them at the hotel. The next morning, his mom called. After sleeping on it, the first thing she said is, "Chris, I like that girl. She's got sand!" She actually admired me for telling her husband off because he's a real bloop bleep blip bloop. I have the best husband in the world. We've hit lots of rough Patches since he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. But since I started my own business, my whole aura changed. I have a project, a goal, ambition, drive, determination. I'm not all wigged out or worried about our future. I found the answer I've been struggling for all these years, and it's worked magic on my marriage. And he has a great butt. Oh, and he gives "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _." Send me a PM if you can fill in those blanks!

I thought I missed it, but it's 9/23 from 10-3. Boy, good thing we've all been banded or they'd go broke! $Five dollars gets you in for ALL THE ICE CREAM YOU CAN EAT. The damage I can do in five hours scares me. This also includes ice cream sundaes and root beer floats. I'm pretty much there. And it's the one food that we can overeat cause it makes for a pretty easygoing PB.

I just did my own rewarding so I'm a pro at this one. Go to Nordstrom and spend too much money on a new handbag. Then spend too much money on a 2nd one right there. Top it off with a wallet, a ridiculously expensive necklace and a charm for your cell phone.

DeLarla gave the geanie a hooter, so he let her keep all three wishes without sharing. The first wish was to have 3 more wishes, and since the stupid genie forgot to have her sign the waiver, he had no choice but to give her three more wishes. Her first wish was that none of her wishes would backfire on her, which left her five more....

I add a few tablespoons of bran cereal to beef them up, plus it gets fiber in.

I could just gag over nights! Nights kill me. I'm sure drug companies are studying the effects of nighttime and eating. I just wish they'd make the drug already!

I just changed my entire religious belief system. From now on I shall pray to the Godess Pam. Nurse, well-written from from the Book of DeLarlaism, page one. I would like to retract everything I've said and just copy what Pam wrote. Bingo, exact, brilliant, perfect.

I agree with Michelle. Liquid fasting a day before surgery is one thing, but you need protein daily. Call your doc or get a 2nd opinion.

The numbers on the scale were getting ugly so I haven't hopped on lately. I've been adding more veggies and less goodies and getting back to using dinner plates instead of feeding troughs. I feel pretty good today and my pants are really comfy. Anyone else avoiding the scale?

I'm not good at this kind of thing because I'm afraid I'll say something to make it worse. I had lots of complications and some of my friends have had their bands removed due to erosion. You are the 2nd stomach perforation I've heard of, but you got luckier than she did at least. Her doc put the band around her perforation after sewing it without telling her, so she ended up in another hospital having the band removed. It's a gamble going in, and it was unfortunate that you had to represent one of the numbers on the unhappy side.

Paula, I've had very profound and similar experience as your son, which is why I believe in God. I've also had vivid experiences with ghosts, so I am quite sure there is some sort of afterlife. But God is God, ghosts are ghosts, and the bible and all the preaching mumbo jumbo is another story altogether. Many people are brought back to life by the marvels of medicine and talk about seeing God, light, angels, etc. I think it's marvelous that someone can find that peace and know something amazing is on the other side. However, I also know that people dream vivid dreams and have data in their subconscious, so I can only believe what I've seen in my waking hours. My mother in law "went to the other side" but was revived back to life. I asked her countless questions, and she told me there's nothing there. "It's just empty and gone" was her best description. The whole point to this thread was not to beat down religion. This thread is about liberty, justice and the American way. Freedom of speech, freedom of expression, freedom to choose how we want to live our lives with a side of female empowerment. The point is we are allowed to post whatever we want. Religious banter on a weighloss support board is extremely offensive to me, but that doesn't keep me from fully enjoying the support here. Screen names that include Lord, God, or Jesus offend me. However, the fact that a small portion of my business includes selling devices to assist people in achieving orgasms offends people who think it should be a banned discussion here, although some of them are afraid to come here and say it in front of the whole board. The topic is simple: If you think LBT should ban sex, vibrators, homosexuality, fellatio or any other sexually related topic, then LBT also has to ban religion. It's that simple.

Lilly Berryman, that's the cutest name in the world. Two of my greatest friends are sisters, Lisa and Cherri Berryman.

And now I have to log off and re-order my supply of vibrators. I sold over $1000 worth of sex toys over the weekend, so at least I'll have lots of friends in Hell! See ya'll there!

The bible and all it says and all it does is clear hypocrisy. I believe in God, but God didn't write the bible. Man wrote the bible after he interpreted beliefs, so anybody that reads the bible is reading what some other guy wrote. I think it's great when people find a good book they believe in, but the fact is, anyone that follows the bible is following man's words, not a higher power. Higher Powers can't write. Never could. With that said, the bible is nothing but a mass of hypocritical mumbo jumbo. Anyone that thinks sex is only for man between women isn't reading carefully enough. God created all. Jesus is creater of things seen and unseen on Heaven and Earth. Jesus created homosexuality. He created vibrators, he invented anal penetration. Blessed be, yada yada. One of my best friends is a Jesus pusher, and we just laugh at each other. I think she sounds like a goofball giving Jesus credit for the wonderful things he blesses her with. An auto accident took away her ability to walk for years. Then she gave Christ all the credit after doctors and scientist developed surgeries, drugs and implants that got her walking again, but she never prayed to the surgeons and lab technicians, hosptials, scientists - the brilliant people that used scientific evidence to figure out how to make her walk. Nope, it certainly wasn't them that got her back on her feet, it was God. Thanks be to Jesus Christ for getting her in that car accident to begin with. It baffles me since doctors and science is 100% real. It's right here, right now and can be proved with fact. The marvels of science are overlooked so people can give credit to some dude that wrote a book and called it the bible based on how he interpreted things. When was the bible written, like eons ago, right? So today's Jesus believers hold their faith in what people believed many moons ago. Heck, they also believed the world was flat and that witches and vampires lived among us. The bible was written by politicians to control society. The wanted to scare people and make them behave. I can recommend a book with facts that prove God was made up. There's proof God doesn't exist but there's no proof he does. I'll take evidence over fiction any day. My bible pushing friend talks about the many ways God blesses her each day. I guess he really unblessed those folks in New Orleans. He really unblessed all the dying children at the cancer center this morning. He really unblessed all the little kittens that are put in sacks with rocks and tossed over bridges and dogs that are kicked and left in the heat with no food and Water. God created deformities – he created people born with both a vagina and a penis, and he called them hermaphrodites. God sure does make a lot of mistakes for as perfect as he’s supposed to be. But I don’t believe he’s perfect. I believe he screws up all the time. Homosexuality is not a choice. I was adopted by two gay men as a young teenager who were better mothers and sisters to me than my own. I lived among the gay community and learned enough about homosexuality to know they were born that way. They were wearing Mommy’s shoes and putting on lipstick instead of breaking Tonka Trucks like heterosexual boys. My lesbian girlfriend held her breath till she fainted as a child when her mother tried putting a dress on her. It’s not a choice, it’s their birthright. Sex is not just for men and women. Does that mean hermaphrodites aren’t allowed to have sex because they have a vagina and a penis, or does the church and bible say they need surgical intervention to correct God’s mistake before they are allowed to have an orgasm? Should the church decide which sex organ they can use? Should women that are disgusted by the thought of a penis live a celibate life and deny herself her own God-given sexuality when she really wants to play with another vagina? Not because she’s a pervert, but because she has uncontrollable sexual urges just like heterosexuals? What about people that look for love but never find it? My sister is several years older than me but is still searching for Mr. Right. She's never been married because our faith believes that marriages are promises in front of God and our friends that only death shall part us. Since she hasn't found a husband, does she have to live a life of celibacy and deny herself sexual gratification? My gosh, the gir is a raving bitch as it is, let her have her orgasms! What a horrible thing to deny somebody. God or no God, no human should ignore being horny because it's not healthy. Orgasms (Vines, help me here) IMPROVE THE IMMUNE SYSTEM. They release endorphines and keep us healthy. Does the bible say unmarried people should become sick with unhealthy immune systems and bad skin and road rage and anger and irritablity? If that's the case, why would otherwise loving and compassionate person care about that book? Put the silly book down and buy your single girlfriend a vibrator. One of my favorite debates is over the bible. Man wrote it. If God were real and he told his story and his guidelines to 100 men and asked them to write a book, each book would be different. I love my friends like Kathy, Kelly and Paula because their belief systems make them beautiful people. I just let any God speak go in one ear and out the other because I don’t put faith in man. I prayed this morning and was told to write this. Way back when the earth was flat and the village was out of order and witches were being born at the stake and Indians were dancing around to make the rain come, some powerful men got together and devised a system to keep order in the village. They invented God and began writing the fairytale. People believed it, because back then they had nothing better to believe in. They had no scientific proof of why lightening strikes, so they were told God was doing it, and it was good. Every time someone questioned why the earth moved, or why butterflies bloom, they were corn holed into believing this great God was in charge, and if you don’t believe in God, you will go to a fiery place called hell for all eternity. Mind you, nobody had ever been to Heaven or Hell, but the people believed it because it made sense. Now the government had peaceful people, and all was good. But before Grandpa died, he explained all he knew about this God character to his sons. When the sons taught their daughters, they added in a few extra myths to make sure their girls were too afraid to let boys touch them, and the girls were scared, so they prayed to God, too. Eventually the entire hypocritical bible went in print. But then one day someone didn’t like that book, so then invented and wrote another book and renamed it. Soon we had Jews, Mormons, Catholics, Buddhists and DeLarlaists. We just make stuff up and people buy it. I love it!

That pleases me immensely. It's about time! But please, pictures of the beaming doll.

Many men are very immature and don't know how to communicate. "Chubby Chaser" is just as racist as calling someone a Nig**. If John were black and he fell in love with white Jane, and then her skin changed, would he have to say, "sorry, but I'm a "nig**" lover? NO, he would have said he's attracted to black women. If he actually used those words then I think he's damn creepy anyway. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to plus size gals, but the word "chase" borderlines obsession - creepy. Why did "chubby chaser" even come into the conversation? Was he secretly chasing fat girls while married? Surfing plus size porn? Fact is he fell in love with a heavy girl and she changed. If that was his initial attraction and then love built from there, then it's just that simple. He's an asshole for having an affair for sure, tons of people cheat in marriage because they're too chicken to own up and admit their feelings. It's a form of lying. Maybe I should lie more. I get in deep Water here at LBT for being too open and honest all the time. I'd rather let someone know how I feel than be labeled a fraud. She deserves better, it's cliche' but tell her every closed door is just another open window, fly away and be free and find someone who loves her from the inside out. P.S. Does he want to buy a Fatty Patty doll? (figured you could use a laugh.)

Something ticked me off today at Bikefest. It was 10:00 a.m. and there was a big breakfast complete with Bloody Marys and a rock band. During intermission, some Christian folks got on stage and started preaching the bible over the intercom. The hypocrisy is overwhelming. They were yapping about how Jesus forgives each and every one of us for our sins. First, when I stand before my maker it's for He or She to decide if what I'm doing is sinful, not some brainwashed fool. But even more hypocritical is let's just say I am being sinful, heck, God's going to forgive me anyway. So why are they in my face? What if I grabbed the microphone and started preaching about orgasms? Sex and Bloody Marys, fine. But the bible over breakfast vodka? God will forgive me for everything I write at LBT, too. So why can't I write whatever I feel like writing?