DeLarla

The 10 count box, right?

P.S. What is OT?

Buy her a box of condoms and call it a day after you make the "wheetsin" whistle sound and announce your gift to the whole staff.

GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD Crawford, Texas (AP) A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. The flood began in the presidential bathroom where the books were kept. Both books have been lost. A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the second one. The White House tried to call FEMA but there was no answer.

Uh, I'll never look at Lopez again. No way, no how. Billy will be my last option. I'll just show up on Penni's front step acting like my crazy mother, she'll shoot me in the gut, John will call 911, and they'll rush me to the closest bariatric surgeon, who happens to be Billy. Phew, feels good to have that worked out finally.

In my world, there's no such thing as enjoying 1 or 2 (see Jack's post on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, candy candy candy candy candy candy candy, ad infinitum. Stick with the Lima Beans. No, I don't eat them cooked, either. It's a win-win situation because the receiver now has something to give their inlaws and you don't want to eat the gift you bought.

I was ref'd to a general surgeon, who said I need to see a bariatric surgeon. They told me to see Fisher or Atkinson (Lopez's best friend and his associate.) Fisher is the one who has refused to see me all along. Back to Square One.

Next year do like me and give out Lima beans. Uncooked.

Cutest Pets: ME

Model of the Year: Kare

What kind of sign? If I'm eroded, the only choice I have is to shoot myself in the stomach and get taken to the Trauma Center. I'm sure they'd decide "the band must come out if we want to get to that bullet." Thanks for all your support babies, but can I borrow a gun?

Well, so far the surgeon refuses to see me and referred me to Fisher, who also refuses to see me.

Okay, so I asked a local doc to remove my band. He isn't a band doc or even a surgeon, but he gave me a referral for an Upper GI that came back normal. But Penni had a normal Upper GI too, so I went back to the guy and cried for an endoscopy. I told him I either wanted a port and support, or just take the thing out before I hurt myself. I would rather have a simple band removal than something like what happened to Diane Beck, or 40 staples like poor Francesca ended up with. I'm scheduled for my endo next week. I'm brining pictures of Penni's erosion, plus I need to call Dr. Billy and ask him if he'd dictate the endo procedure for whoever does mine since nobody here is familiar with the band. Penni said Billy didn't see erosion on his first pass, so if it's THAT difficult for a seasoned band doc to detect, imagine how hard it will be for someone with no band experience? I was also given a referral to a local surgeon, but I need my endo results before making the appointment. I have no idea what my insurance will cover. Will they remove a healthy band? Will they consider a port necessary enough to pay for replacement? I don't know. I also asked this doc for a referral to my insurance plan's weight loss support department, which I lost (that's my subconscious working for me.) So today I'm starting DeLarla's Diet. I have absolutely zero willpower these days, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to follow it. I've let all my band rules go bye-bye. Thanks to naughty tricks I learned right here at LBT, I now drink with meals to get more in and eat past a PB. Tsk tsk. Where did Square One go?

I wasn't nervous at all, I was just plain excited and couldn't wait to get it over with. However, panic kicked in the day after I was banded. I was freaked out over the foreign device in my belly, as if a sneeze would send it blasting through my spleen or somebody would run into me with a knife. All your crazy emotions are totally normal, ya big weirdo! Just kidding, you're normal.

Since I'm not supposed to be playing around in LBT at work, I'm trying to limit myself to only 5 posts each morning. But when I saw the title to this one I stopped counting and started laughing. Even though it's not a laughing matter, my hole has a bottomless pit when it comes to junk food. One would think chips would get stuck. Apples get stuck. Chicken gets stuck. But quesadillas slide right down the hole along with candy, popcorn and anything else bad for me.

I'm pretty sure Donali said she still feels restriction from time to time. So why not patent your new weight loss surgery idea? Instead of banding, just attach scar tissue to the top of our belly. I miss you! But for real, when people have arms or legs removed, they still feel the phantom for a period of time. You probably have a combo of both phantom plus the scar tissue. Plus your belly is healing now. Just keep up the good work, Miss Boop.

Favorite Diva? I'll take it! Jack gets best, har. (I'm crying from laughing so hard over this thread.) Still waiting for our secretary to do a tally. And since when doesn't JQ have a band? Did I miss something?

P.S. You, my doll, are way too cute. You're too sexy for this board.

I would have handled the skinny twat with sympathy since she was obviously jealous. You should have told her you were sorry she didn't have her own BonBons to shake and offered to buy her a sandwich. Next time anyone makes a comment, simply thank them for the compliment since they certainly wouldn't be staring at something that repulsed them. The ballet dancers were mesmerized by your beauty and movement, which is why they couldn't take their eyes off you. Duh. Thanks for pointing me here or I would have miss this. I'm pretty jealous. I wish someone out here would belly dance with me. I'd start a whole team, Big Belly Bellies. I tried to resize the shot so let's see how this comes out:

I want some of that honey but I'm too lazy to find it. We need an LBT on-line store. Just click and shop.

Clapping and doing my big cowboy whistle for you!

Shai, Jen challenged me, so I suggest we start tomorrow. Putting half the food back is a great option for normal people, but my husband does the cooking. Half of my plate is still damn scary. My biggest problem is my husband. No matter what I do or say, he refuses to help me lose weight. He really enjoys an eating partner, and he likes me a little fluffy. He gets irritated when I won't eat with him. I realize it's HIS problem and not mine, but try walking away from the rack of BBQ ribs he just cooked for himself! Even when he leaves me alone, the smells and quantities of food in his world are torture. So I'm stopping at the store for my shake stuff & veggies. Today is a big joke due to our Christmas table that's piled with a disgusting amount of crap. And the real gifts haven't even started pouring in yet. Let's all thank Penni who said she sent my work 2 boxes of Godiva. Sigh.

I'm her for ya Bub! They could probably give you Valium to help ease anxiety for the prep work.

How did I forget to 2nd Vines, Bean & NJ? Prolly was laughing too much.

Superdaddy, you should give seminars and teach men to be like you.