DeLarla

Dawg's eyes are still closed, right? Susan, Valentine's Day is right around the corner. I don't have any goats, but I do carry a blow up sheep with anatomically correct orifices in my Slumber Parties inventory. Wonky? I like that!

"I know that toilet paper was $1.99 for 8 rolls in 1993, because it's still there on our computer. So I cop flack all the time about how irresponsible I am for not wanting to go round grey haired with eyebrows like a man. Apparently its my fault we're not rolling in it." AND "....where can I get a 'nickle on stick'...or at least a photo????" OMG, it's only 4:00 a.m. and tears are rolling down my eyes while my gut is busting open! Jack, I will get you a photo of a nickle on a stick! And now I have warm fuzzies over Dawg n' Nut, awweee!

Voodoo takes care of all pizza boxes, Jenna. YOU should know that.

You aren't crazy, the band is tightest in the morning. There's are many great threads about morning restriction, so do a search and you'll find world's of information. My band was closed for business till lunch when I had it. Many tend to open up around lunch or with warm liquids. Totally normal.

You got it. He's a lucky guy to come away with broken bones and bad abrasions, so I think he's got the white light on his side already, thank Heaven. Send our love from Vegas, and we've got an extra bike on the trailer when he's better.

I would definitely recommend having it removed after 18 months, but only if you've had a port infection. For me, I wanted it OUT because I suffered a port infection for 8 months. All the knowledge I had about port infections going hand-in-hand with erosion had me fretting n' stewing to the point I got creepy vibes that I was creating my own erosion! Constant worrying about the band isn't healthy. However, if you have a healthy band and you know it's healthy because you had an annual (or 18 month) endo, then I see no reason to take it out unless it's not doing its job. If I had a band that didn't work, I wouldn't want to keep it. I don't miss my band one bit. I'll probably change that statement if I gain weight back, but for today I don't miss it since I'm trying to continue eating smaller portions and I've learned a lot about chewing and slowing down.

Interesting you bring up the empty toilet paper roll after my earlier drip-dry experience. And I have a bidet, but was my little bidet towel around? Nope. It's a mystery because he didn't do it, so he says.

All the strength in the world to you my friend. I don't envy your position at all. My husband frustrates me till no end, but to think of an actual divorce is serious business. We'll be here for you leaving the white light on.

"Positioning has changed drastically from how it was placed originally - which was quite a while ago in Australia." BINGO.

HA! I knew you couldn't resist. Guys, this is NOT the "Why are women so weird" thread so don't even go there. If you want a thread to cluck about us, go start one. This spousal unit of mine is too strange for words. The more I lose, the weirder he gets. He's off work temporarily. I figured he'd finally finish the tile job from 3 years ago. He didn't have time though because he was busy diamond-plating his workbench. Yes, you read that right. (Diamond plate is expensive shiny metal sheet stuff for backs of trailers n' junk.) I recently needed his help out back, but he insisted he was too busy tied up on a project in the garage. Our house needs painted, the lawn is a mess, but we have plenty of nickels on a stick. Yes, you heard that right. The important project that kept him from fixing the pool pump was making nickels on a stick, only he get really pissed that I call them that. What? Oh, he was welding an Indian head nickel to a large nail. This way you kinda have a huge thumbtack to use for important stuff. I don't know what could be so important, but we've got nickels on a stick now. Last night I ordered two whole pizzas for us. I had 1.5 pieces and planned on another 1.5 pieces tonight but there was only one piece left. It really pissed him off that I ate "his" last piece of pizza. Did I mention I (ME) was the one that ordered the two pizzas, and I was the one that picked them up, because I was the one that had a hankering? How weird is your man? Guys, here's your chance to defend yourselves by explaining the need for nickels on a stick.

I'm bored with the whole Ortiz topic. I better go start a new fun thread. Out.

Hey, if we're in here fighting, we ain't eating. How many calories does a good LBT war burn?

"5--I didn't say one bad thing about Ortiz in this thread, because now you can all read how wonderful he is in his own post." That's funny, I don't care who y'ar.

"So if a post is quoted in another post and that post is deleted it still exists in the quote?? If so, then from now on when the D'Lahlin one posts something particularily rantsome or spicey one of us should quote the whole thing in a post & that way her deletion madness will be thwarted!" Well now you're just playing dirty. I like that. DeLete

I expected to get the service I paid for. Call me silly.

Penni, are WE still fighting? I lost track. Maybe I should start a "Who's fighting with DeLarla" thread to keep count. All in love n' fun. Well, most of the time.

Michelle, don't make me read through all these pages, tell me how Hoodia is working for you. Also, if you send me samples, I'll send you samples of Hydroxy Cut. DeLarla Drug Dealer

Thanks Doc, but I ain't going anywhere. No way, I just got another pair of new pooh-kickin' boots. I'm on top of the world. And for the record, me n' Kare aren't fighting. Me and others... well, that might be another story!

One more thing about, "I forgot, "You could be right. Maybe what I will need is another program someday." Kare, Dr. Billy didn't give me anything new. He gave me the same old moldy lecture and boring, lifeless information. He gave me two choices: 1. Be obese. 2: Know your caloric intake. Notice he didn't say, "Eat only 1200 calories." Instead he gave me that CHOICE that you're clucking about. Chose to be fat, or chose to eat 1200 calories. I get to wave the 12 pound loss flag because my CHOICE is option 2. Now put up your dukes and let's have a real fight and meet me in my weight loss challenge thread! Touche' or what? Also, I made the choice to go to Mexico based on bad information. I didn't have the knowledge that so many patients from TJ were eroding. I didn't have any eroded friends or board members to warn me. Wild horses couldn't drag me to Tijuana these days based on what I've seen, what I know, and all the cases of erosion suddenly popping up from TJ. Not even wild horses.

"And I'm sorry Lisa, but holding up a 12 pound loss as proof is totally flawed logic. Like you've never lost 12 pounds before. Like I haven't. Like I haven't lost 152 pounds without a band." Actually, Kare, I am holding up the "I LOST 12 POUNDS" flag for the first time in my life. I've lost 12 pounds by counting calories and exercise. Only this time I'm allowing myself to eat anything I want on occasion without hating myself. I had drinks and a splurge dinner on Tuesday, but I got right back on the wagon on Wedneday because Billy's tape keeps playing through my head. See, now I plan for splurges, which is something I always knew I could do, but Billy said it the one last time that made it stick. For example, today is Friday, and I'm always naughty on weekends. So I cut my Breakfast, skipped my milk, and had plain steamed veggies for lunch. Billy taught me to either be fat, or know my caloric intake and accept it. Kare, I love you, Dork. But you missed a big point. Those of us (like Penni, Karen, etc.) PAID for a service that we did not get. What Paul said in his other post was brilliant in my opinion. Penni and I paid for a lifetime of care, and Dr. Lopez shook my hand as he sealed our lifelong deal. But once we got back to the US, he lied. The last thing Lopez said as he shook my hand and his associate hugged me was, "This is just the beginning of a lifelong relationship." If all we needed was the band, then why isn't everyone at goal? And Kare, you can fight with me. I'll win though. HAHAH XOXO SMOOOCH

I thought this was going to be another PB thread. Sorry Jenna, I don't want to lose my steamed brussel spouts so I better not go there!

Actually, the biggest part of my apology was for deleting my posts, which is something I promised I'd never do again. But I didn't delete them out of regret; I deleted them to calm the beast inside before I REALLY got nasty. Trust me, I have plenty left to say and it's taking enormous restraint to stay out of that thread, though I have been reading it. I still can't believe anyone would thank Ortiz for posting a lie. There's not just one Lapband placement technique unless my research is inaccurate. I'm sure my surgeons were not lying when they said the original technique has been improved upon. But when that was questioned things went off the deep end. Why hasn't anyone quantified that statement with some factual evidence instead of twisting the entire thread as if all us eroded bandless people are sitting around wallowing in self-pity? Ortiz dug a hole, yet he hasn't been back to explain anything or answer our questions. Typical. I never cried over the loss of my band. I stopped crying the minute I found out I was eroded and have been celebrating since the day the foreign device was safely out of my body. I thank my lucky stars for the 1.5 years my band worked but now it's up to me. The band did nothing to quiet the demons in my head. It broke me of some really bad habits like eating too fast and swallowing food whole. But it never stopped the severe and psychotic urge to eat late at night or eat past the pain. I ate when it hurt. I ate past PBs. I need another tool now. Now that thread is debating diet lectures. Well let me tell you! I'm living proof that we never know enough about diet and exercise! I've had 35 years of diet counseling, nutrition classes, yada yada f-ing yada! Yet suddenly, the same old boring "count your calories and exercise" lecture stuck, and it's finally working. Dr. Billy didn't tell me anything new; he didn't put a new interesting twist on it, either. From the day I met Dr. Billy, all I did was roll my eyes at the nerve he had telling ME about calories and exercise. I knew it all; I didn't need some young hot doctor telling me how to diet. But yes, I did. Heck, maybe I was in a Morphine-induced state of meditation during my last lecture from Dr. Billy about staying under 1200 calories and exercising every day. But I've lost 13 pounds since that lecture. The same old boring lecture finally clicked. It's never too late to learn the same old trick. Never.

I'm hitting the honky tonk tonight, and I don't even know what a honky tonk is! Friday, tight jeans, new boots, and hubby just bought me a new pink Harley hat. Just try to keep me in!

What's Coochy? OMG, it's the best shaving cream on the planet. I sold cases before I even tried it, and now I hooked. Even my husband and all his pipefitter buddies use it on their faces. Not only do they "love a little Coochy on their face" but it gets rid of the red bumps and rashes! And it's a great cream rinse, too. Brings back the bounce and shine. It's a Slumber thang, doll. PM me your address for a catalog!

I used Coochy on my underarms to get them smooth. If anyone has underarm flabby skin, just walk around like I was in that picture cause it pulls it all taught. That's how I'll be walking around at Convention because when I lay my arms flat, the flab spills over the sides. Hey, I'm down another pound today so I better go grab that 18 and hope it's still on sale! SIZE 20 GOWN FOR SALE! I hope I didn't just curse myself. I don't wanna gain any weight back, waahhhhhh! LAISSEZ LES BONS TEMPS ROULER!! Kathy, I love that! How do I pronounce it all?