Iruthie20

Love love these posts!! I prayed about getting my lap band for over three months, reading this. Post made me smile

I live in Springfield, ma! Banded oct 29th..plateau for over a month now..feeling very discouraged!!!

I am a clinical therapist. I work with children and families. I absolutely love my job!!

I am a clinical therapist. I work with children and families. I absolutely love my job!!

Jg956, I completely understand where your coming from. Sometimes we just want people to validate our feelings or statements we make. I posted a week ago a similar statement and people jumped down my throat...I felt so terrible after reading the responses. It was like my moment of happiness and success was taken from me and left me feeling discouraged. I think people get the lap band for different reasons. I know one thing we all have in common is loosing weight, however, my reason was because I wanted to eat what I wanted but less of it. I felt a victory last week when I ate two donut holes. Prior to Lap band I ate 25 count in one sitting. To me, this was big!!!! I have always wanted to have control over the quantity of what I eat which has always been hard. I did three months in an eating disorder program to over come binge eating disorder. I still after three months could not control my quanity of donut holes. Seeing how people attack over what we eat vs how much is not fair. No one here got obese from eating a piece of pecan pie, maybe from eating the whole pie. If eating a piece of that pie allowed you to enjoy thanksgiving that occurs one time a year, good for you!!!!! You did not kill anything from eating that piece. Just because we have a lap band doesn't mean were banned from eating sweets or anything with high calories, it means we're not going to eat as much as we probably used too. Last year I lost 150 pounds from restricting quanity of food, I never once banned any food from my diet I just limited my quanity and how often I ate certain things. I'm really bothered by people making comments of what we can't and can eat. Three months in an inpatient eating disorder program taught me how to eat and never once did it encourage not eating certain foods , or restricting sweets on a holiday....I hope posting your true feelings didn't discourage you from posting because I really enjoy reading honest posts that come from our true real experiences. I honestly think some responses are of what people think they have to say. We have a doctor that can give us harsh realities, we need validation, support, active listening, and sensitive oriented opinions and responses. On the other side, I guess hearing harsh realities can also help us. I became emotional and discouraged after reading some feedback, and haven't touched a donut hole since because I replayed in my head the posts I read. Hang In there!!! We're both only three weeks post of so we have a lot to learn which is why I come on here and read so much !!!

I use GNC lean shakes, for the holiday they have special flavors right now..pummpkin spice and mocha mint....you can also order online from GNC? com if you have that store local. gNC will let you taste sample them too to see if u like. Also,myou can bring back if you don't like or use. Best of luck!!

Stop trying to justify your actions. You have come so far....now is the time to stop cheating and get your head in the game. As others said call the dr and maybe have him check for damage. speak to your dr about bandster hell.... The time before you are in the green zone. It's hard but not impossible. Then start with one meal at a time. When the feeling to cheat creeps up on you then find something to do and while you are going through the mental gymnastics ask yourself this question... Why am I willing to sabatoge my effort this far for a cookie? Do I want to be fat for the rest of my life?
Only you can do this and since you got surgery I am guessing you must want the results pretty badly. Look at my profile... I was a happy fat girl...on the out side. Within I was miserable!! But now I am an ecstatic thin girl inside and out. That can be you in a very short time.
I know my words sound direct and uncaring and at couldn't be farther from the truth... I just believe in honesty with myself and others... I wish you all the best.

I honestly see it like any other topic on here, if I don't agree or like it, I just pass by it. No one is forcing me to read or like anything.
Everyone has a voice and their motivators, if this particular motivator doesn't apply to you, then just pass it over and ignore it.

Maybe the choice of words did trigger me! To hear someone say "you just sabatoged yourself three weeks out" and " you just killed it from the pie alone" .... I'm sure no one wants to hear that! I felt so sad for the person who posted the orginal because those are not encouraging supportive words. We don't know her personal journey to subject her to such harsh words of feedback. Maybe because I'm a clinical therapist I took some of the posts so harshly. I thought our intentions are to help lap banders, support each other, not to discourage and point fingers at mistakes, or disclosing honest feelings.
Minimi, the original poster said she had a small plate, and went for seconds..she stated she had no rolls, no crust, little stuffing ect.... ( very lap band concious, if you ask me), She didn't say she stuffed her self to a point where she was sick or throwing up.... She was being honest and saying she indulged a little bit more then she would on a normal day... Regardless, The only thing that could help her through or validate her honesty would be encouraging supportive words not harsh rude inconsiderate words that aren't going to do anything but maybe make her resistant to being honest and true in future posts. I'm sure everyone on here has made mistakes or had embarrassing moments they'd like to post that would be beneficial for others to read but sadly this is just an example of why so many might not.

Its harder now seven years out than it was to lose the weight over the first three. I feel like there is definitely an adaptation to the band where the body gradually resumes its old appetites and habits and I have to work very hard now to keep to the bandster rules and not to give in to my continual urges to binge on sugar - I really, really have a problem with sugar. I'm successful four days out of five, but once or twice a week I do tend to have massive sugar binges, where I will eat eight or nine Cookies (or similar). Generally I make it through a normal Breakfast and lunch and by 3pm, the urge simply overwhelms me and there will be no healthy dinner that night, I will just pick for hours on crap.
This seems to do no damage to my weight at all but it upsets my very sensitive gut and makes me feel terrible about myself! I have taken years to get to the root of my eating problems (I've been banded seven) and its only inthe last year that I really have accepted that I do have a real disordered eating pattern. I am a perfectionist, over controlling, all or nothing and scarily I can identify with ALL of the thoughts and mental outlooks that you'll find on any list of anorexia symptoms. I've never managed to get myself anorexic thin, but its not for want of trying. I like the look of being underweight, I've never been happy to stop at a BMI of 25, that was never good enough for me, etc.
This all escalated markedly for me with being diagnosed with cancer and I struggle now to eat sensibly, regularly and in moderate amounts that are consistent from day to day - rather than starve one day binge the next.
I find it hard to accept that there's people out there that are much much heavier than I ever was who actually probably have an easier time of it because they dont harbour so many dysfunctional thoughts. Hunger never ever was a part of my problem - yet the band worked brilliantly for me my dampening that and limiting what I could eat - so whatever your issues, it is a tool you can work with.
I'm actually really glad that I feel like finally, 45 years into my life, I think I have a better understanding of what makes me tick. I may or may not seek professional help- I feel I'm in good control at the moment but it swings to ovrwhelming at the drop of a hat, so I think it would be good for me.
What I feel the band gives me is control. It takes away the fear for me that I will eat and eat and not stop. With it, I can allow myself the luxury of having confidence in my body's signals - so for me its a huge psychological prop. I actually at more and better with my band!
So banded life is hard, but life without it would be hard too. Lets face it, obesity is a horrible disease that causes hardships in your life. You have it, so its a question of how to manage it, not whether the band is easy or not.

It's a great question. Truth be told only one aspect of it was really harder than I imagined... The 2 week liquid diet. But I stuck to it, didn't cheat and ultimately had a successful surgery.
After that I cannot say its been hard. I was very strict with myself because I knew if I didn't see results in a reasonable period of time I would get frustrated. So I measured portions, counted calories, got fills when I needed them and went to my dr every month. It was frustrating at times of course. Eating out with friends watching them chow down on pizza and wings while I was having something less exciting is hard. But that isn't the band's fault.
I do think you have to be completed committed to making it work. The band will do 70% of the work when you are in the green zone. sometimes it takes a while to get there. You must do the rest by making proper food choices. If you want to be successful ..being banded and in the losing stage means you will have to drink Water when your friends are drinking alcohol, skip the cake at birthday parties, forgo the ice cream on a hot summer day. And plan what you will eat when you are out and about. But once you have lost your weight you can have a few bites of most anything you want... The band will prevent you from wanting must more than that.
I have craving every once in a while but i put my mind over matter and either ignore it, drink some Water or eat one bite. I can tolerate most anything except carbonation, rice and skinned fruit. But during the 23 months of losing I didn't eat anything i didnt account for in my calorie tracker. I even would write down the cocktail sauce i dipped my low cal shrimp in. I was obsessed...admittedly
In fact I can tell you the number of times I cheated...that's how focused I was. That doesn't work for everyone but it did for me.
That said I am maintaining now. I have 2 lbs more to lose to get to my goal. And 12 more to get to my stretch goal. But I am not worried about it. If I don't lose another lb I am completely happy with my success.
Was it hard? Sometimes. But 377lbs at 50 yrs old I was a heart attack waiting to happen. I think dealing with that would have been harder.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Thank you to those of you that reached out to me through private message. This was exactly what I was thinking LBT was going to be when I joined. I understand that certain people have no filter and that is the way they are. I'm not judging anyone just the way that I don't want to be judged. All I have to say to certain individuals is congrats to you if you've made it through this process mistake-free...perhaps I cannot be that perfect, nor do I want to be. If life was perfect, it would be boring and unfullfilling to me. I am going to make mistakes and hope that I learn from them. I'm early in my weight loss journey, some of you are at goal...please don't forget they days when you were in my shoes.
When I read the first few posts, I was distraught to be honest. I cried in my 1 cup bowl of turkey chili...in front of my kids, nonetheless. They couldn't figure out why mommy was crying while she was eating. I couldn't explain it to them other than to just tell them to treat others the way you would want to be treated. A couple of things struck a nerve to me. First and foremost that the pie killed me. Now, not knowing my personal struggle with food or just everyday life, I wouldn't expect anyone to know that would hurt so much. I went through a long period of time where I secretly struggled with suicide. Maybe not over pie, exactly LOL but food was a huge issue for me that made me depressed.
Secondly, that I chose food over family. I never once chose food over family, EVER. I sat at a dinner table with my parents, my sister and her family and my own two beautiful children. It was never about food. Sure I was excited to eat, but to say that...those are fighting words. My father told me during dinner that I needed more on my plate...I politely told him, I can't eat more than this. He took it as me starving myself. I said, NO I really cannot eat more or I will vomit. Enough said. My father never liked seeing me over weight, as he has never had weight issues, but yet always wanted to make me happy, even if it meant feeding me more than I needed. I deal with this on a daily basis. Family who doesn't really support me, a semi-supportive husband who understands but at the same time, lost his eating buddy. And then my kids, who don't understand why I can't eat the way I used to. Their too young to understand all of it's complications. So yes, everyday is a struggle for me...I don't need a stranger to point their finger at me and tell me what I'm doing wrong or that I'm a complete failure.
Food is all around me...I will always struggle...I'm a pastry chef, I own a cupcake and cake bakery. My husband is a manager for Dunkin Donuts. Together we are a recipe for disaster LOL And this is why I empathize with the two donut hole girl! haha. I was the 25 donut hole girl, the 6 cupcake girl, the frappuccino girl, the fresh baked sugar cookie girl...oh i could go on and on...
Long story short, I understand where the negativity was coming from. I don't like it, but I understand it. I just think words can be used differently. Think before you write...think about what your words can do to another person that you don't even know. We're all here to support each other. Thanks again to everyone that appreciated my honesty and stood up for me. You're the best!

I completely understand what your going through. Two months before lap band I gained 62 pounds. I ate so much junk food, fast food preparing for this new life style. My family kept telling me I was sabatogizing myself and they were completely right. My advice is: each pound you gain before lap band surgery is only making you further from your ultimate goal. I am so incredibly mad at myself for gaining so much weight right before surgery. Start now!! They say with lap band we can expect one-two pounds per week of Weightloss. Each pound you gain preparing for surgery is adding a week to loose...I know my body can gain one pound per day and it did. If I only didn't do what I did I'd be almost 200 pounds today but instead I'm 275.
Also, my surgeon explained to me that the weight we gain before surgery is belly fat that can cause complications during surgery. He said the fat all stays in belly first and makes the surgery harder to perform. That scared me, and I wish I knew this before gaining 62 pounds right before surgery. Also, be careful about weight gain because you can get denied if they weigh you, and a month later you've gained more. It shows insurance and surgeon unreadiness for life style change.
Also, try going on a shake morning and lunch..and eat sensible dinner..I lost twelve pounds week before surgery drinking the two shakes and having dinner. Three weeks of liquids is a lot....and mentally if you know you don't have too, it makes it very difficult. Try one day of replacing Breakfast and lunch with shake and see if you can manage that before going straight to all liquids.....

I completely understand what your going through. Two months before lap band I gained 62 pounds. I ate so much junk food, fast food preparing for this new life style. My family kept telling me I was sabatogizing myself and they were completely right. My advice is: each pound you gain before lap band surgery is only making you further from your ultimate goal. I am so incredibly mad at myself for gaining so much weight right before surgery. Start now!! They say with lap band we can expect one-two pounds per week of Weightloss. Each pound you gain preparing for surgery is adding a week to loose...I know my body can gain one pound per day and it did. If I only didn't do what I did I'd be almost 200 pounds today but instead I'm 275.
Also, my surgeon explained to me that the weight we gain before surgery is belly fat that can cause complications during surgery. He said the fat all stays in belly first and makes the surgery harder to perform. That scared me, and I wish I knew this before gaining 62 pounds right before surgery. Also, be careful about weight gain because you can get denied if they weigh you, and a month later you've gained more. It shows insurance and surgeon unreadiness for life style change.
Also, try going on a shake morning and lunch..and eat sensible dinner..I lost twelve pounds week before surgery drinking the two shakes and having dinner. Three weeks of liquids is a lot....and mentally if you know you don't have too, it makes it very difficult. Try one day of replacing Breakfast and lunch with shake and see if you can manage that before going straight to all liquids.....

I indulged. I had turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, gravy, apple pie, etc. It was yummy. Like you, I only ate a fraction of what I ate before banded.
I feel zero guilt. It's Thanksgiving, and every once in awhile I allow myself a free day. For me, it's necessary so I don't feel deprived. I did it for my birthday, Easter, Halloween, and Thanksgiving. I'll do it for Christmas, too. The trick is- you get right back on track the next day and stay there.

Maybe the choice of words did trigger me! To hear someone say "you just sabatoged yourself three weeks out" and " you just killed it from the pie alone" .... I'm sure no one wants to hear that! I felt so sad for the person who posted the orginal because those are not encouraging supportive words. We don't know her personal journey to subject her to such harsh words of feedback. Maybe because I'm a clinical therapist I took some of the posts so harshly. I thought our intentions are to help lap banders, support each other, not to discourage and point fingers at mistakes, or disclosing honest feelings.
Minimi, the original poster said she had a small plate, and went for seconds..she stated she had no rolls, no crust, little stuffing ect.... ( very lap band concious, if you ask me), She didn't say she stuffed her self to a point where she was sick or throwing up.... She was being honest and saying she indulged a little bit more then she would on a normal day... Regardless, The only thing that could help her through or validate her honesty would be encouraging supportive words not harsh rude inconsiderate words that aren't going to do anything but maybe make her resistant to being honest and true in future posts. I'm sure everyone on here has made mistakes or had embarrassing moments they'd like to post that would be beneficial for others to read but sadly this is just an example of why so many might not.

Jg956, I completely understand where your coming from. Sometimes we just want people to validate our feelings or statements we make. I posted a week ago a similar statement and people jumped down my throat...I felt so terrible after reading the responses. It was like my moment of happiness and success was taken from me and left me feeling discouraged. I think people get the lap band for different reasons. I know one thing we all have in common is loosing weight, however, my reason was because I wanted to eat what I wanted but less of it. I felt a victory last week when I ate two donut holes. Prior to Lap band I ate 25 count in one sitting. To me, this was big!!!! I have always wanted to have control over the quantity of what I eat which has always been hard. I did three months in an eating disorder program to over come binge eating disorder. I still after three months could not control my quanity of donut holes. Seeing how people attack over what we eat vs how much is not fair. No one here got obese from eating a piece of pecan pie, maybe from eating the whole pie. If eating a piece of that pie allowed you to enjoy thanksgiving that occurs one time a year, good for you!!!!! You did not kill anything from eating that piece. Just because we have a lap band doesn't mean were banned from eating sweets or anything with high calories, it means we're not going to eat as much as we probably used too. Last year I lost 150 pounds from restricting quanity of food, I never once banned any food from my diet I just limited my quanity and how often I ate certain things. I'm really bothered by people making comments of what we can't and can eat. Three months in an inpatient eating disorder program taught me how to eat and never once did it encourage not eating certain foods , or restricting sweets on a holiday....I hope posting your true feelings didn't discourage you from posting because I really enjoy reading honest posts that come from our true real experiences. I honestly think some responses are of what people think they have to say. We have a doctor that can give us harsh realities, we need validation, support, active listening, and sensitive oriented opinions and responses. On the other side, I guess hearing harsh realities can also help us. I became emotional and discouraged after reading some feedback, and haven't touched a donut hole since because I replayed in my head the posts I read. Hang In there!!! We're both only three weeks post of so we have a lot to learn which is why I come on here and read so much !!!

NY here too! Would definitely love to hear your secrets to success! My nutritionist and I are on the same page...diets don't work. Skinny people are skinny because they know when to stop! Will not be counting carbs, calories, sugars, etc. Had surgery 10/11/12 and feeling fantastic so far. Drives me nuts on here to read "you can't eat this, don't eat that"...didn't get fat eating "A" cheeseburger. Got fat eating a double quarter pounder and a large fries washed down with a chocolate shake!!!!

You know what I admire your honest posting, ty. You said you indulged a little bit more than you have been eating, Im sure it wasnt like pre banding, you just had a little bit extra and you know what that is fine, we are still allowed to induldge from time to time. I personally got the lapband to stop dieting and develop a healthy relationship with food. Do I still eat "crap"from time to time, hell yeah I do!!!! Do I make myself feel guilty for eating the "crap"? Nope!!! In the past I would have stuffed my self silly with "crap" now I can have just a little sliver of the so called "crap" and not feel guilty and enjoy it like a normal person. I have two beautiful slim girlfriends, they eat what they like and they exercise and always have. I've observed them eating, no matter what they are eating when they are satisfied they stop which is usually at the twenty minute mark and they don't shovel food into their mouths, they take the time to eat.
Cheryl I have to disagree on one of your comments, you don't always have to eat crap to put on weight. I grew up in a european household where my mother homemade everything, even the vegetables on the dinner table came from the vegetable patch my father had in the back yard all year round. No one else in my family has or has ever had a weight issue, only me, why? Because I always ate more than I needed to, I remember my mum telling me as a little girl after going for a second helping of dinner, haven't you had enough. I was constantly hungry. My mum never bought crap, or take out, she cooked every single meal from scratch. I was just different. When I had my three children I was so afraid they had my gene when it came to food and weight. I didn't want them to have weight issues, especially my beautiful daughter. From the time they started solids I cooked every single thing that went into their mouths, I never bought the store baby foods, I made sure they were active every single day, I encouraged them to take up a sport, we tried many different ones till they each found something they loved and enjoyed. I taught them that moderation is the key with food, I taught them no food is off limits, I taught them to eat healthy 90% of the time and junk food from time to time is ok. I rarely buy my family take out, when the kids are with friends they will sometimes have McDonalds or some other fast food.
We all got fat for eating too much (and not necesarilly crap food) and not being active enough. The lapband is teaching us to eat like normal people and to become active and that's why it works. I felt like a failure for so many years because even though I taught my children to have a healthy relationship with food I just couldn't apply it to myself. I constantly went on diets, constantly deprived myself and constantly failed. I needed professional help which I sought out, finally at 49 years of age I am succeeding and I know I will get this weight off, better late than never, with the help of the lapband, the lapband has taken away that constant hunger, the lapband has helped me get back in control, the lapband has made me feel like a normal person with normal eating habits. Without this lapband I would constantly be struggling with my weight and on the never ending yo-yo dieting cycle. It felt like I was born defective in some way when it came to my hunger levels. Food is a part of celebrations and holiday festivities, it has been for thousands of years. Some of us just forgot to say enough is enough. Christmas is around the corner and it's my turn to have it at my home this year for my family (twenty people), for the first time in years I am not afraid of this Christmas because I know that even if I do have that little something extra it's fine and it will be worked into my new daily eating habits I have acquired with the lapband and I will do extra walking the day after.
Being lapbanded is not about deprivation it is about a healthy approach towards foods in moderation and exercise.
So to the original poster ty for posting and being totally honest with your food intake on a day of festivities and also showing how even though you ate some things you normally dont eat you ate it in moderation so you are well on your way to understanding how to live your new lifestyle regardless of how long you have been banded.
Time to get off the soap box lol.

Jg956, I completely understand where your coming from. Sometimes we just want people to validate our feelings or statements we make. I posted a week ago a similar statement and people jumped down my throat...I felt so terrible after reading the responses. It was like my moment of happiness and success was taken from me and left me feeling discouraged. I think people get the lap band for different reasons. I know one thing we all have in common is loosing weight, however, my reason was because I wanted to eat what I wanted but less of it. I felt a victory last week when I ate two donut holes. Prior to Lap band I ate 25 count in one sitting. To me, this was big!!!! I have always wanted to have control over the quantity of what I eat which has always been hard. I did three months in an eating disorder program to over come binge eating disorder. I still after three months could not control my quanity of donut holes. Seeing how people attack over what we eat vs how much is not fair. No one here got obese from eating a piece of pecan pie, maybe from eating the whole pie. If eating a piece of that pie allowed you to enjoy thanksgiving that occurs one time a year, good for you!!!!! You did not kill anything from eating that piece. Just because we have a lap band doesn't mean were banned from eating sweets or anything with high calories, it means we're not going to eat as much as we probably used too. Last year I lost 150 pounds from restricting quanity of food, I never once banned any food from my diet I just limited my quanity and how often I ate certain things. I'm really bothered by people making comments of what we can't and can eat. Three months in an inpatient eating disorder program taught me how to eat and never once did it encourage not eating certain foods , or restricting sweets on a holiday....I hope posting your true feelings didn't discourage you from posting because I really enjoy reading honest posts that come from our true real experiences. I honestly think some responses are of what people think they have to say. We have a doctor that can give us harsh realities, we need validation, support, active listening, and sensitive oriented opinions and responses. On the other side, I guess hearing harsh realities can also help us. I became emotional and discouraged after reading some feedback, and haven't touched a donut hole since because I replayed in my head the posts I read. Hang In there!!! We're both only three weeks post of so we have a lot to learn which is why I come on here and read so much !!!

Awww thank you!! :wub:
I most certainly have my "off days". I meant it when I said it's necessary (for me, anyway) so I don't feel deprived. Feeling deprived has historically lead to feelings of "screw this, I'm done!" and going food crazy gaining weight. I knew going into this surgery I couldn't allow myself to feel deprived.
On my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Easter, and Christmas I don't track calories. I truly eat whatever I what. I am just mindful of two things- sticking to a cup or less of food and stopping eating when I'm no longer hungry. But, like yesterday for instance, I know I ate TONS more than my normal calories.
Here's the great thing about the band- if you stick to band portions and stop eating when you're not hungry? Even though you're indulging big time, you're still likely eating 1/4 of what you would have without the band.
I just try to be realistic. I'm human, I love food, and I want my days to just enjoy it

It's one day, really, it's not a big deal. I know I ate a ton more calories than I normally do. Heck, I had a piece of pie at 8pm last night even. But honestly? I don't care. I have been doing this long enough to know if I have a "freebie day" once in awhile, it's not going to effect me. In fact, I personally think they're necessary once in awhile so you don't feel deprived.
I ate a bunch of candy on Halloween. I had all the fatty, high calories stuff of Thanksgiving yesterday. I'll have Cookies and treats on Christmas.
But the day after, I'm right back on track always. In fact right now I'm eating a salad for lunch made out of leftover turkey. I'm counting calories and leaving yesterday as a nice memory.
Don't sweat it, just be on track again today

Thanks Got a little nervous!

Love love these posts!! I prayed about getting my lap band for over three months, reading this. Post made me smile