makemyownluck

have you ever had surgery before? I'm so worried about post-op complications! I've been under general anesthesia 3x in my life and it all went fine - not sure if this is something that could still happen? I'm so sorry you're having these issues and I wish you a speedy recovery!!

lookin good!! love them bamboo earrings, girl!

this literally made me L O L!! hahah

I'm a fan of muscle milk, vanilla creme and the chocolate flavor. I put sugar free chai powder in the vanilla for a replacement to my usual "soy chai latte" from starbucks. The chai powder I have also has 2g protein per serviing, so that's just a little boost. The muscle milk has 20g protein per serving and I think that it tastes great. Very satisfying and it does fill me up.

does it come in flavors? What have you tried and liked?

This is why I don't plan to tell anyone except a few key people. If people find out, fine. But I'm really not the kind of person to take other people's BS, so I think I'll just have a lot of hateful coworkers talking about me behind my back, and that really doesn't bother me. But I'm not going to make some grand announcement, which really only makes people think you're looking for feedback. I'm sorry that you had to deal with that awkward conversation. I'd suggest telling the next person that you had surgery and feel so great about it. Then if they make that crack, tell them that surgery is hardly an easy thing to recover from. It makes me sad how absolutely hateful some people can be. I expect having this surgery will change my perspective on a lot of my relationships... I welcome it! Show me who my real friends are!! Good luck on the size 6!!

oooo, haven't seen cafe latte! I've been buying them at my regular grocery store and their selection is limited. I was thinking of going to Vitamin Shoppe, do you know of any other retailers that have a wider variety in stock (and aren't terribly pricey)? I appreciate the advice!! Thanks!

It bothers me that at some point in my life, before I lost this weight, I was 240 pounds and thought I was repulsive, disgusting, and ugly. ^that broke my heart, because I feel the exact. same. way. I think back to how I looked in high school or my early 20s and think "I WISH I could be that size now" and that girl was just as repulsed by herself as I am now! I think I have a long way to go to get self-esteem back (the little I had is certainly gone) and it's gonna take me years longer than it will to lose the weight. The few compliments I get, I always think are insults first. I assume anyone paying me a compliment is mocking me somehow. Even when it's my closest friends or relatives. Here's to learning to love ourselves.

I've been trying to implement change in my life. It hasn't been easy. My sub-conscious isn't going down without a fight! It's been really hard to fight the urge for carbs, but I took a huge step today by eliminating most of them from my cabinets. I did some shopping over the weekend and again, it was really hard to fight the carb monster. Oh, my favorite macaroons are fresh out of the oven? NO! RESIST! Free sample of my favorite pizza? STOP!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! Toaster Strudel on sale!? YOU BASTIDS! And then it was like a light bulb went off (dimly, still working on it), and I realized that Toaster Strudel is probably a great representation of my overall diet choices. Easy, sweet, reminiscent of fruit (but not actual fruit) and comes with an icing packet so I can feel like I contributed to my meal prep. How terribly sad and ridiculous is it to live like that?? So, instead I've been implementing some changes. I've been trying out protein shakes as meal replacements, and so far it's going great. I've been enjoying Muscle Milk, vanilla creme and chocolate are all I've tried, and playing around with flavors. I have some sugar-free chai mix, some extracts and sugar-free syrups that have made it a little more fun. I've been using the ready-to-drink variety of muscle milk and am nervous about buying the big canister. Does it taste the same? Anyone know about this? Also, I've discovered Greek yogurt. Never used to be a yogurt fan, but never tried Greek yogurt since it became "the thing". "If I don't like the regular kind, why would I want the Greek kind?" I'd rationalize to myself like an idiot. It's amazing! I really like Fage the best, but have been settling for Oikos because it's been on sale for the last 2 weeks at my local store. Of all I tried, Fage peach is my hands down favorite. So I've been replacing a meal with yogurt. Well, not the WHOLE meal. I used to buy lunch at the cafeteria at my work, which is usually some double portion carb mess covered in gravy, or a super salty soup with pre-made caesar salad on the side and a big sugary lemonade. Now, I bring a yogurt, some cheese slices and have bottled water instead of the lemonade. I'll get a soup or fresh fruit from the caf if I'm hungry, but I'm usually not. All the extra protein is really making a difference in my appetite! So that brings us to the point in my day once I'm home. I live alone. I have no one to shame me or call me out for making bad choices. That's part of why I'm glad to purge my cabinets. I'll have to use all my willpower not to re-purchase those things, but not having them here is a huge step. When I'm home and ready for dinner, I have a Lean Cuisine. Not the best, but it's portion controlled and easy. Living alone=having all the chores and cooking and cleaning is not how I want to spend my time... half way through cooking the meal, my back will start to ache. Then by the time I'm done and have sat down, ate, food coma sets in, cleaning up is the last thing on my mind. I'm really hoping that losing some weight will give me energy back to DO CHORES. I feel like I'm so gung-ho about changing my diet, that part has been easy, actually, but I have no drive whatsoever to be physically active. I really want that to change. But it's such a short amount of time before my back aches or my feet ache or I'm sweating and feel disgusting... Can't want for all these changes to add up to a better life. I just re-read this and realized my goal for physical fitness is to be able to do chores! HAHHAHHAHA - not climb a mountain, run a 5k - but do some chores. I can't tell if that's very sad or very Marge Simpson of me. lol!!

still pre-op here, but I've been doing Protein shakes to get used to them in preparation for pre- and post-op diet. I LOVE muscle milk. chocolate and vanilla creme are all I've tried so far, but I really enjoy them. I also have sugar-free spiced chai powder, been mixing that with the vanilla for a nice "chai latte" that I used to always get from Starbux. I've also used coffee extract (found it at Whole Foods) or sugar free raspberry syrup in the chocolate shakes. The shakes are also good by themselves (IMO), but I like to flavor it up for variety. I haven't tried the raspberry with vanilla creme yet, but I plan to - I also want to get some strawberry syrup or extract as well. I'd love to hear from anyone who's tried both the muscle milk ready to drink shakes and the powders. I've only been using the ready to drink shakes, but it's SO expensive to do it that way... would like to try the powder but am afraid it won't be as good. Anyone know about this?

I haven't been sleeved yet, but I had laparoscopic gall bladder surgery a couple of years ago and the incisions are fairly similar to what you had for a sleeve. While I was feeling much better and returned to work 6 days after that surgery, I had pain in my lower abs for about 3 months after. I would notice it when I walked anything over like 10-15 minutes, it was a sharp, aching pain. I'd even notice it when walking in the grocery store or anything. It took a while to completely go away... but in the first few months, there were times I had to stop what I was doing (for example, if I was in a store) and find somewhere to sit down, or lean all my weight on. I'm not a doc, so I dont know what it is exactly, but it sounds similar to that, and my surgeon then told me it was normal and to be careful not to push myself when I felt that way, or else risk a hernia. Go slow, rest often, and if it's really intense, talk to your surgeon. Good luck!

I hadn't heard of these, I will definitely getting some for post op!! I keep reading how hard it is to keep things down, this would be a tremendous help!

If you have a ppo, then the bcbs requirements you found online apply. If you have h.m.o. then your medical group actually has to approve the referral and their criteria might be different than what you found online. With an h.m.o., bcbs doesn't actually approve the surgery, your medical group does. It's always more confusing when dealing with an h.m.o.

So I've lamented on this board before about how my MD office doesn't have a scale that goes high enough to weigh me. That could very well be A BLESSING for me, it turns out. I went to the MD today and told him that I went to the NUT, started the carb counting diet, and that I have a psych eval tomorrow. I asked him what would happen next and was a little sad when he told me that the insurance will want 3 months of supervised diet. Well, I can wait if needed, but the doctor then said he would talk to the medical group and see if there's a way to skip that part... since his scale only goes as high as 350 and I'm in the 440ish range, there's no way I'm going to lose enough weight in 3 months to be able to get on his scale and show progress. He's hoping that since I've been his patient for 10+ years and my medical record shows other weight loss attempts in the last few years (Phentermine, etc.) that they MIGHT waive the diet part of it. Plus my recent hypertension dx could also scoot things along with getting the referral for surgery approved. I'm not gonna hold my breath since I know insurance companies very rarely bend the rules. But I'm on an *** and my medical group is very small, he's only one of 5 MDs in the group, so I'm thinking I MIGHT have a shot... with the ***, BCBS will pay for the surgery as long as the medical group approves the referral, so there's a chance my MD could convince the medical group that the referral is warranted. Otherwise, we wait the 3 months... looking at December-January for a surgery date. And while I don't particularly want to be laid up from surgery at Christmastime, I'm not going to put it off. He did say that once you do the requirements, they are pretty quick with a response and you get approved for surgery right away - so even if I have to wait 3 months, it's still good news because once the diet part is done, we can get things rolling pretty quickly. At least, that's what I'm hoping for!!

Do you have bcbsil ppo or h.m.o.?

I've started the process, but I think I have a long way to go before I'm approved and scheduled for surgery. I'll be using my health insurance, so I have way more hoops to jump through to get on that operating table. I'm 32 and single, and have been overweight my whole life. In the past 5 or 6 years, my weight has gone far beyond what I thought would be my max. I have over 200 lbs to lose, and my trigger to choose surgery was being diagnosed with high blood pressure. I've kinda kept blinders on about my weight problem because I was otherwise healthy. All my tests would come back normal, my bp was actually low, but now age (I know, only 32, but there's a difference between a 20 year old fat girl and a 32 year old fat girl!!) and my skyrocketing weight is catching up to my health. I don't want to become diabetic. I don't want to have high cholesterol. Despite the obvious weight issues, I also mentioned I'm single, I'm also childless. I feel like I'm at a crossroads that if I ever want to have a child, I need to do something about my weight. At this weight, I couldn't likely conceive a child or have a healthy pregnancy. Nevermind the fact that I can't catch a decent man these days! Even if I chose adoption, I am in no physical condition to chase after a child. Even if I never have a child, I do want to have a better quality of life. My weight has caused depression, major self esteem issues, has contributed to my lack of relationships or my own family, and now it's impacting my health in a measurable way. I've simply had ENOUGH and honestly, I'm already kicking myself that I didn't get this process started 10 years ago. I wish you luck! I'm glad you joined the board, I learned loads from this site and it's helped me make this choice.

depends on the size - mine got to the point where my gall bladder duct was blocked by a stone completely and I couldn't digest anything (not even water). Everyone is different, obviously, for instance - the attack could subside, but it's likely to return. If you're still recovering, best to get it over with now... ultimately, it's an elective surgery so there are non-surgical treatments, mostly symptom management, and it's a crap shoot whether you'll have symptoms again in a day, a month, or years from now. I haven't had VSG yet, had my gb removed about 6 years ago and the recovery wasn't bad at all. I was back to work in 1 week. I'd go through it again to spare another gall stone attack, that's for sure! Good luck!

I'm pre-surgery so I don't know exactly what you're describing as far as sticture - however I had the same symptoms when I had a large gall stone that blocked the duct - couldn't keep down anything, not even water. Do you still have your gall bladder? Do you have abdominal pain?

Welcome to the board! I'm pre-surgery as well, I see my doctor in October to see if he can put my referral in sooner than expected, otherwise I'm currently in the "3 month required diet" phase, which will put me at end of November to be referred to a surgeon. Unfortunately, I don't even know what happens after that - so I'm sort of in the dark about when I can actually have surgery. I know the feeling about being sad about what I've become... I hope to rid myself of this feeling as I rid myself of the extra weight! Good luck to you in your journey, I hope to hear more of your progress.

So, my MD office has a scale that goes up to 350lbs. Unfortunately, I'm a little heavier than that. My NUT had a scale, but it only went up to 300lbs.! And this NUT was in a diabetes center and had some bariatric sized furniture, but their freakin' scale only goes up to 300lbs?! Am I cray or should scales go up higher than this?? Especially at a doctors office - I asked my MD where I could get weighed, and he had no idea where to send me. Why should this be so hard? Being overweight is embarrassing enough, but now I gotta ask around to see how high someone's scale goes before I step on it? Absolutely and unnecessarily ridiculous, if you ask me. Any suggestions where I might go to get weighed? I'm complete mortified to have this problem.

There is a BB&B nearby, but I just don't want a scale in my house. I'm willing to wait, I'm sure the surgeon will have one that's high enough.

Thank you everyone, for the kind words! My birthday was fine - took the day off work and saw people I love. Sadly, my friends mother passed away last Friday. She held on for a long time - the woman loved her life. Now, I'm just trying to be strong and supportive for my friend. This year has brought a lot of changes already, and I'm looking forward to my big change. Hopefully soon!!

Tomorrow is my birthday. I've been very sad lately, thinking about the life I've wasted. My best friend is in a hospital right now literally watching her mother die. She would give anything for one more good day, and here I sit, wasting my life. Hiding myself because I'm too embarrassed of my appearance to embrace this life I've been blessed with. I remember on my 23rd birthday getting up and ready to go out to dinner with my parents. That day, I had no pants that I fit into. I had nothing to wear. I cried because I felt so hopelessly big. I couldn't even call someone to borrow something - no one I knew was as big as me. And here I am, about to turn 32, and feeling the exact same way. Except that I probably weigh 100lbs more than I did back then. I felt hopeless back then, and now I'd love to be 100lbs lighter. I wish I was that size again. I am already worried about how my mind is going to handle being self-confident again (although, I don't think I ever truly was self-confident). A lifetime of misery isn't something easy to overcome. I'm pretty sure I'll be one of those people who can't see themselves how they really are, because I'm only JUST NOW, at age 32, weighing over 400 lbs, beginning to realize how big I am. I'm "Oh, I hope I don't break that chair" fat. THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED MY LIFE TO BE.My parents gave me this card for my birthday, explaining how proud they are of me, how they are amazed by everything I've accomplished and how strong I am. And I'm reading it, thinking to myself "What have I done for you to be proud of?" I'm their only child, and i'm this single, hermit-like woman who hasn't accomplished much but graduating high school and being employed. I guess they can be proud that I don't ever ask them for money. I don't feel like I'm worthy of their pride. Is losing weight gonna help me love myself? Not completely, but I really hope it helps. I don't like being so harsh on myself. I just don't know how to shut the negative thoughts off sometimes. I'm just over it. I want to move on. I wish I could snap my fingers and have surgery tomorrow... but I'm just getting this train started. Who knows how long I have to wait... I'm getting anxious with the process, which is resulting in some depression on my end, and due to other factors in my life (like my friend's mother's illness, for example). Times like this make me feel especially lonely. On the bright side, I have the day off work tomorrow. And I go to my first NUT visit. I hope it's a good day. I usually have a good day on my birthday, let's hope this one is the same. And let me be a little selfish and wish that my best friend's mother doesn't die on my birthday... Sorry if this comes off as too depressing. I've just had a lot on my mind lately.

That is fantastic!! Great job on getting your goals accomplished - 90lbs in 110 days is amazing! Share some pics of your journey!

That is incredible!! I can't believe you've dropped 100lbs in less than a year, that's so fantastic!! You look great, good luck on continued success.