You're not a fellow Virgo but you sound so much like me! You are also so hard on yourself. I have shut off myself socially since March 2011. At least you have a friend and you're able to support them through hardship.

I am also worried about myself image because I never accepted my body before and now that I am changing, I am not recognizing myself in the mirror. I have dealt with self hatred ever since I was 17 (I'm turning 25 soon) and I also don't know what it would be like to love myself and to be confident. It's a struggle but I assure you that we will get there one day. Losing weight may not be a 100% of the answer, but I firmly believe that it will help me live my life more openly and fully, so I can be who I really want to be (no reservations) and I don't have to worry about this and that because I'm fat... Not sure if you relate to that?

Your parents are proud of you because you're a great person, or else, your friend wouldn't wanna have you around during the tough time they're going through. Some friends aren't even nice enough to stick around during circumstances like this, but you are!

I hope your 1st NUT meeting goes well tomorrow and that you're birthday is a great day! You didn't waste any life. It's all a part of the process. We can't be always happy or always sad, so maybe what you're going through now is because God is keeping something so great for you in the future. I always see this pattern in my life.

Both of you are so brave. I am 65 and am going to go thru this soon. You both have your whole life ahead of you. You both will suceed and be free from all the weight that is holding you both back. I also have been very hard on myself all these years and still am. I don't even know if it is too late for me but I am going to try. I am so tired of life passing me by and being in terrible pain day in day out. You are both young and the bad stuff has not happened to you yet. I will pray for both of you and please keep in touch.

I would love to keep in touch with both of you as well... I realize that I'm my own worst critic and that I'm harder on myself than I need to be. Sometimes I feel like if I can say the most hateful thing, then nothing that anyone else says can hurt as badly. That doesn't really work tho, but I still find myself thinking those bad things. I'm so ready for that to change.

I think this process is wrecking emotional havoc on me, because it's forcing me to change the bad habits I've been ignoring my whole life. There's a subconscious part of me that wants to sabotage this whole idea and go back to the old ways. The NUT was very informative. She gave me some good tools to make better decisions. Now I'm just anxious to get back to my PCP and see what happens next.

Mokee, you are so strong to go through this at age 65. I wish you success - it's never too late to change our lives!! I keep trying to convince myself of that - that it's not too late for my to change my body and have a baby if I want to! That I can get back some of the confidence I had as a kid and actual start dating again! That I can TRAVEL! I've never been on a plane in my life because I"m afraid of fitting in the seat and/or being that person no one wants to sit next to. That's not me! I'm the fun one!!

Each day we work toward this goal is a day well spent. Despite it ALL - I've never been so hopeful for my future!!

Good luck, ladies!

Well Hell there Beautiful !! Are you kidding ?? you're a knock out !!

Things may seem bad now hun but you have made the first step towards the rest of your life.. You have finally acknowledged that you have a weight issue and are taking steps to rectify it. You are owning your weight and now it's time to say "No more !!" I'm 32 years young and I want to LIVE !!

I hope you had a wonderful birthday and that your best friends mom is hanging in there until her family is ready to say goodbye.

Hope your having a great day.

Lisa

Thank you everyone, for the kind words! My birthday was fine - took the day off work and saw people I love.

Sadly, my friends mother passed away last Friday. She held on for a long time - the woman loved her life. Now, I'm just trying to be strong and supportive for my friend.

This year has brought a lot of changes already, and I'm looking forward to my big change. Hopefully soon!!