@DomLorenVSG

IT HAS BEEN FIVE MONTHS SINCE MY LIFE CHANGED!!
 
I walked in this morning wearing a new outfit. Complete chaos lol!!!! My "friend" started acting up again. Ever since my surgery, she started a crazy eating pattern and exercise day and night it seems like. She sat there and said NOTHING.
 
Once the other coworkers walked away, we started discussing the day and plans for the weekend. She found a new cool place and was thinking of going there Saturday night. I said awesome and then she said this: this is going to be fun, although I am not sure of "this" new you. You are no longer the beautiful SAFE friend. WTF?!?
I smiled and said " what you mean to say is, I am no longer the fat friend and you have seen nothing yet cupcake"
 
This is fuel for me. I am determine to be the beautiful, skinny, unsafe friend. Her and others that think like her, have no idea what's coming
P.S I learned today (from my NUT) it is important to keep my calories up above 600 calories. For my body to process protein properly and boost weight loss, my caloric intake have to be at a good level. From 600 to 800 but no higher than 1000 with exercise of course.

Height: 5'9
 
Highest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
Sleeved: (8/17/2012): 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary
 
 
**While it doesn't look like I'm getting a ton of definition, I'm actually "de-swelling" pretty evenly and not all from one spot. Everything has shrunk from a size 14 (*cough* more like a 16 *cough*) pre-op to me fitting into my size 10 jeans. I never took measurements, but my clothing is pretty much telling the story for me. And the shorts I'm wearing in my 2 month pic wouldn't even go up my thighs 2 months ago- total NSV and now my favorite pool deck lounging booty shorts. I'm still swimming 5 days a week, and I'm getting really close to my first personal goal of 169, which is the highest allowable weight according to my BMI chart. In 2 weeks I got Halloween, and in 3 weeks my Birthday. I'm really stepping it up in workouts and extra stuff just so that I can be prepared to take pics with friends and be happy, and actually smiling in all my pics. I'm ready for pics with friends finally!!!
 

 

Height: 5'9
 
Highest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
Sleeved: (8/17/2012): 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary
 
 
**While it doesn't look like I'm getting a ton of definition, I'm actually "de-swelling" pretty evenly and not all from one spot. Everything has shrunk from a size 14 (*cough* more like a 16 *cough*) pre-op to me fitting into my size 10 jeans. I never took measurements, but my clothing is pretty much telling the story for me. And the shorts I'm wearing in my 2 month pic wouldn't even go up my thighs 2 months ago- total NSV and now my favorite pool deck lounging booty shorts. I'm still swimming 5 days a week, and I'm getting really close to my first personal goal of 169, which is the highest allowable weight according to my BMI chart. In 2 weeks I got Halloween, and in 3 weeks my Birthday. I'm really stepping it up in workouts and extra stuff just so that I can be prepared to take pics with friends and be happy, and actually smiling in all my pics. I'm ready for pics with friends finally!!!
 

 

Height: 5'9
 
Highest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
Sleeved: (8/17/2012): 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary
 
 
**While it doesn't look like I'm getting a ton of definition, I'm actually "de-swelling" pretty evenly and not all from one spot. Everything has shrunk from a size 14 (*cough* more like a 16 *cough*) pre-op to me fitting into my size 10 jeans. I never took measurements, but my clothing is pretty much telling the story for me. And the shorts I'm wearing in my 2 month pic wouldn't even go up my thighs 2 months ago- total NSV and now my favorite pool deck lounging booty shorts. I'm still swimming 5 days a week, and I'm getting really close to my first personal goal of 169, which is the highest allowable weight according to my BMI chart. In 2 weeks I got Halloween, and in 3 weeks my Birthday. I'm really stepping it up in workouts and extra stuff just so that I can be prepared to take pics with friends and be happy, and actually smiling in all my pics. I'm ready for pics with friends finally!!!
 

 

Where do I start...Week 8 was the week of workouts...
 
I concentrated on my running game...So I pushed myself everytime I ran...Managed 2 miles in 26 minutes on Wednesday...And on Saturday, I actually did an 11 minute mile...Killed me but I felt good after I caught my breath and my heart starting beating inside instead of outside of my chest...Now I need to duplicate that across two miles and then three miles...My goal is to do 3 miles in 30 minutes...I have also kept up with Insanity workouts...Still hard as hell but well worth it...I get a sense of accomplishments from getting through another greuling 40 minutes of insane workouts...I feel myself getting stronger..my stretches getting better and my cardio picking up so I am so encouraged...
 
I know some say I am going too hard on the workouts but I do not think so...I feel absolutely fine and no pain from the workouts other than sore muscles...And I actually get a rise out of that because that means they feeling the effect and making way for change...Working out, particularly running is a lifestyle for me so no sense of putting it off any longer..I also am putting weight lifting in my routine. My arms have always been big proportionate to my body so I am giving them a lil extra work to see if I can get them to get with the program...lol...
 
I had a few struggles with food and the dreaded alcohol...I went out to eat with friends and there was bread and I had a tiny piece...Didnt take it too far because I did not want to risk upsetting my stomach...And I also tried a drink, on a separate occassion, and it burned my stomach...Good and a bad thing...so I didnt finish the drink and have the empty calories but man I was looking forward to that drink...
 
But the best part of the week...I got down to 199...I guess it is possible on my scale...For the past few weeks I was beginning to think that my scale did not display #'s less than 200...I attached progress photos and I can see the difference in the photos but when I look in the mirror I pretty much see myself the same as I was pre-surgery...I had a girlfriend tell me that it was funny that when I was bigger I saw myself as a sexy b*tch..and now as I have getting smaller I am seeing myself as a slob...I dont really know where I lost myself..I do remember feeling good about me or at least I played the role so well that I believed I liked myself at some point in my "big life"...Now, I critique myself so hard on that and I am almost uncomfortable in my own skin...I need for my self image and confidence to catch up with my smaller waistline...It is sometimes hard to process the compliments because I am thinking what do these folk see...In fact, I told this one guy, I wanted to see myself through his eyes...He had always adored me even at my biggest and now he can't wait to see me in the morning to shower me with compliments...
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 201.2
CW 199 [Exactly 44lbs away from goal]
GW 155

Happy 1 month Sleeve Anniversary to me! It's my 1 month Sleeve-versary and well, it's been a rough one! I just spent the last 4 days fighting the urge to smoke a cigarette because I'm struggling with my coping skills (and I haven't smoked in YEARS!!!). I drove 9 hours one way, just to see my grandmother who's terminally ill in Hospice in FL. My sleeve acted more as a shock collar because I kept eating terrible foods. Two bites in was throwing up. My sleeve is teaching me to change my behavior, but with so much emotional stuff going on in my life lately it's really been testing me to make the right decisions with food. This indeed is a journey, of learning and understanding. <3
 
Knowing my past habits, I know I would have derailed already and would have binged ate at certain emotional crossroads. At my family dinner on Saturday night, family I hadn't seen in years gathered to say their final goodbyes to my grandmother- and then came the food. Food I would have eaten and eaten and eaten and never stopped. But my sleeve didn't let me fail. I know this sleeve is the best decision I have ever made. Even when I had the urge to give up on myself, my sleeve wouldn't let me. It keeps me honest. It keeps me accountable. And for that I'm so very, very, very, grateful. I could only imagine how much my life will change in 6 months, just the progress in the last month has been such a welcomed relief and gives me hope of a better tomorrow. I might not be at goal weight right now, but I'm getting closer and closer everyday. And I see progress- which is much more than I can say for any diet I've ever been on before. And I don't feel deprived. Now that I'm 4 weeks out, I can eat anything I want- except I don't want the garbage, since I can only get a few bites in, I want to make them count with good delicious flavored food. Me, chicken, and steak, are now BFF's.
 
I <3 my Sleeve.
 
Height: 5'9
 
Heighest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
 
Sleeved 8/17/2012 @ 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)

Okay, I've had several emails and people ask questions about what I'm doing to lose solid numbers every week and I've compiled my list of personal habits (disagree or agree this is just how I'm doing it, feel free to take as little or as much as you want):
 
1) Protein. I went off the doc's diet after week 3 (bad i know!), I get 90% of my calories from pure protein. I completely avoid carbs like the black plague. I snack on chicken, and whatever I can get my hands on. Yesterday for lunch I had pulled pork bbq, 3 oz and I was done, saved the rest and ate it again for dinner. No sides, no bread, nadda. The bbq was more than enough.
 
2) Routine is my bff. I know what I'm going to eat every single day before I leave the house, I leave nothing for imagination and I workout with other people so even if I'm not feeling motivated to do it, I know they are waiting on me to show up- there for I actually do my workouts religously.
 
3) Here's the tough love. 20 minutes is not good enough. 30 minutes is not good enough. 45 minutes is NOT good enough. You need to commit to 1 FULL HOUR EVERY SINGLE DAY to working out. I don't know your schedule but I know this- simple math says it takes 3500 calories to burn 1 lbs of fat, even on a low calorie diet and your BMR helping to burn some calories that still a LOT Of calories that you need to burn.
 
4) READ the guru's. I've read Jillian Michaels and Bob Harpers books, I've read Oprah's trainers, I've read all the top hollywood trainers books. I've educated myself thoroughly and there are several key things THEY ALL AGREE ON:
 
A) To lose weight you must work out a MINIMUM of 1 hour 6 days a week and it must be intense, not lolly gagging- doesn't matter if it's running, walking, elliptical or what you got to make it intense and get your heart rate to 120.
Weight lifting is NECESSARY. At least 3 times a week for 30 minutes at max weight. All the trainers said it, if you want to change your metabolism it starts with weights. Muscle burns more fat. There for increase your muscle. If you rotate a day of weight lifting for cardio, or add them both in for a 2 hour workout 6 days a week, magical things might happen.
C) Carbs are the enemy. They all agree. We are a carb heavy society. And because of our sleeves now is the time to back away slowly and reconsider them later. Eat a very heavy protein diet.
D) Sugars are the enemy. And you know what I'm talking about. Even the protein shakes are full of crap. Time to step back drink h20 (and none of the other crap) and focus on proteins again. I will miss my smoothies and my fudigcles and my occassional sweet tooth cravings, but do want to lose weight or not?
E) DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT eat after 7pm. Water ONLY. Sleeping on a full stomach, partially full, or any thing at all in your stomach will screw with your metabolism in your sleep. Just don't do it.
 
Maybe masters swimming and water polo are my saving grace, but I know several people who've had success with trainers, workout buddies, etc. It's HARD. Period. No matter who we are to get this done. It takes time and commitment.
 
Now, with all this said and done, let me also say that I will NOT be losing ANY weight this week. WHAT?! Why do ask ?! Because my period should be starting tomorrow, and well I got PCOS (PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome which has been a huge factor in why I needed the VSG- my body cannot regulate my hormones or my insulin), and I have always gained between 7 and 10 lbs on my period (sorry guys for the TMI but weight gain is true for the vast majority of women). If I only fluctuate by a pound or so I will be delighted. So this week I'm easing up on myself and just training and ignoring my numbers as they will most likely go up. BE AWARE of your cycles and get a calendar. Start tracking on your calendar, calories consumed, when your period is, when your PMS'ing (which is when your hormones start to surge and the first onset of weight gain pre-period happens) and watch what happens. You might be bloating because you're so close to your cycle. I also get horrific acne- which right now is pretty bad :/ so that's my indicator mother nature is about to come kick my a$$.
 
I work out a LOT. A minimum of 2 to 5 hours a day and that's why I've been dropping numbers. I know a lot of people cannot commit to that, but I'm doing with with a packed schedule and a kid because my health is #1. It's time for me. THIS IS MY TIME. And I don't have anymore time in my life to waste. I'm being as completely proactive as possible.
 
Hope this helps!

5 weeks post op and I've got to say it's been one of the worst weeks EVER to date. The fact that I even lost any weight at all was absolutely amazing to me, and possibly a first. I'm going to give a brief summary of this weeks events:
 
Started the weekend with my grandmother ending up in hospice/emergency care with a diagnosis of death sometime in the next week, driving 18 hours to say our goodbyes in right before she slipped into a coma the day after we arrived. Got home and I got into a car accident Weds, followed by my home being broken into that following evening. By the grace of god, my car is not damaged and nothing was stolen (I was home and scared the intruder off and police took care of it from there). Sounds like a crappy enough week? It was.
 
My nerves are shot. My coping mechanisms are barely holding on. A lot of praying, deep breathes, etc. And the icing on the cake of this week? Mother nature decided to make her appearance this week and I've been battling just to have enough energy to function and covered in acne. So, we are just going to say that this week needs to hurry up and be over as of today. And preferably, September can move right on along. I'm ready for the sunshine to break through the clouds. I only lost -1.9 lbs this week, and I'm totally okay with that! God bless my sleeve! It keeps me honest and on the right path even when I'm failing... so here's to better weeks, and better days ahead!
 
Height: 5'9
 
Heighest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
 
Sleeved 8/17/2012 @ 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)

Well this will be short out of frustration. When I weighed my self Wednesday I was sitting pretty at 188, when I did my official weigh in on Friday I was at 190.1, for a total weight loss of -1.5 this week compared to last Friday (and since I'm being 100% honest with myself I'm going with my Friday weigh in Number not the lowest number I saw during the week). NOT A HAPPY CAMPER. In fact I was so frustrated I waited until noon and re-weighed myself on Friday and still no change. I had to leave for a trip at 1pm on Friday and got so distracted I ended up running behind and running out of time to update my numbers or blog on here (hence why I'm updating today in stead of a couple of days ago). The only silver lining to my numbers going up and down so much in a few days is that I KNOW THE CULPRIT. I'm not regularly going to the bathroom. THe past 3 weeks I have been, suddenly something this last week changed and I haven't been able to go in about a week or more, and my body is obviously reacting. Things I'm doing to combat the situation:
 
1) Taking a probiotic EVERY DAY to get back on track.
2) I'm doing dissolvable miralax in my coffee every other day.
3) Taking a vitamin every day.
 
Drinking water is not a problem, nor is working out. I've got those two things down solidly. But when your body isn't working properly there is no way your going to see effective weight loss. I even feel bloated right now. It's an icky terrible feeling of being desperate and wanting to shed the toxins out of your body with no idea when it is going to happen. Frustrating. I should be thankful I'm not in a full blown stall, BUT I workout soooo many hours a day, only seeing a -1 bs weight loss AND FEELING bloated is just a big fat NO GO. So I'm focusing on taking my medicine, hoping I get some regularity back and crossing my fingers this week is better than last week.
 
Height: 5'9
 
Heighest Weight: 216
Current Weight: 190.1
(Total weight loss since surgery -25.9 lbs)
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
 
Sleeved:
(8/17/2012): 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)

Welp, I did better than last week and lost -3.1 lbs this week. I'm definitely starting to see patterns in my body, and how it reacts to things throughout the week. On Wednesday I weighed in at 185.6, today (only 2 days later) I'm weighing in at 187 lbs. I'll take a loss, no problem, but it intrigues me how my body bounces up and down a pound or two during the week. One of my healthier habits I've acquired since surgery, is weighing myself only once first thing in the morning when I wake up, and not doing so again until the next day. I use to be obsessive compulsive about weighing myself multiple times a day, praying I would see some kind of loss, if even a few ounces. By only weighing myself once a day, I feel like I'm seeing much better results and not dwelling on it as much.
 
Things I also know that have been working for me are laxatives. On Monday I tried miralax dissolvable (pre-measured packets- love it) in my coffee and it worked wonders. On Wednesday, I tried a good old laxative pill and it worked wonders as well. So now I know that if my body needs a little push to dump the toxins out of my body I have options. I'm very wary of taking any laxative every day because your body becomes dependent on them, and I do NOT want that to happen. I've been fairly regular up until last week, so trying different things this week brought a lot of relief to my system, and my numbers dropped as well.
 
I will say that my biggest NSV to date happened today. I have about 20 pairs of jeans ranging from size 16 to size 8. About 3 weeks ago I was able to squeeze into my size 12's that have been getting looser and looser. Today being Friday and jean day at work, I decided to reach for my prized (slightly expensive, but fabulously fitting) size 10 jeans just to take an assessment of how they fit and how much farther I have to go. I put them on, and to my shock and amazement- they fit. Perfectly. No muffin top either. I went and looked in almost every mirror of my house just to make sure I wasn't hanging out or fooling myself. Nope- they fit! I felt overwhelmed with emotion this morning, over a pair of jeans. It's been YEARS since I've worn them, and even then I remember the last month or so I was able to wear them, I was wearing spanx and girdles trying not to bulge out thanks to the evil muffin top! After I got in my car, got my son to school, and just started thinking- I went into a Zen like state. I just felt like everything was going to be okay. I don't know what my all-time ultimate goal weight will be, or when my body will stop losing weight, but right now, the feeling of having my beloved size 10's fit me, is enough to praise God and count my blessings. I love my sleeve!
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest Weight: 216
Current Weight: 187.0
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
 
Sleeved:
(8/17/2012): 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)

Well, it is four months today since my surgery!!! Before surgery (April 13) I was 297.7 with a BMI of 45.3. The day of surgery (June 4) I was 283.8-BMI 44. I am now 224.5- BMI 36.2. SOOOOO,I have lost 59.3 since surgery, I have lost a total of 73.2 in 6 months. I did follow up blood work with my PCD, she took me off blood pressure and cholesterol meds. I am also of metformin, I still have to manage my diabetes but only with diet and exercise. Speaking of exercise--I actually like exercising!!!!! funny huh! I had to get in a good routine, I had to make sure exercise is like a perscription med, I must take everyday in order to feel better. Because I travel so much the Y works best for me, whatever city I am in, I go to the Y. I try to make sure I do an hour 3-5 days a week. I am scared because I have tried sampling everything, and I can eat everything, such as fried foods, haven't tried pizza or sweets, those are my weakness. I have decided to not to eat bread, the pasta I eat is whole wheat organic pasta. I am loving salmon, talapia, and halibut!!!! Mixed veggies!!! Also I stopped eating red meat. But my hair is falling out sooooo freaking bad!!!! I take all my vitamins, b12, calcium and vitamin. I bought some biotin 2 weeks ago. Still hair falling out. So my doc told me to increase my protein by eating a steak or something. I told my husband, he was so happy. LOL he was getting so sick of of fish, chicken and turkey. so he made the best steak I ever had!!! still cannot eat a whole meal so I shared with my daughter.
 
I have not told anyone. Only my husband and daughter knows. I still get negative comments from my family after they see the loss. "oh you have lost too much!! you look like you on drugs!!! I know your husband don't like that!!! Stupid stuff like that makes me just want to stay away!! I have better encouragement from people I work with. Thats sad, but hey you cannot pick your family. Because all of my 24/26 and 4x are falling off of me, I had to get new clothes. So I just bought a couple of things. I am in a 16w and 1x---HELL FREAKIN YEAH!!!!!! You should have seen my happy dance in the dressing room!!!! My daughter has stressed me about wearing a dress, I have not worn a dress in almost 3 years. So I tried on a dress, I still don't like how I look in dresses, still fat on my legs and I have still have my rolls.
 
I am not doing weights for my arms and legs. What can I do for my stomach? I know to do crunches/sit ups but is there a better way to do them that works? Also any suggestions with my hair loss? I go to the beautician every 2 weeks. I get my perm every 6 weeks. I think I need to take a break and get some braids. my doc says to lay off any perms or treatment because my hair will stop falling out around the 6 to 8 month mark. I am a black woman that cannot go natural, I don't have patience for the process of growing out my perm. I am headed to get a perm today, lol.

Can not believe how much time went by since my surgery!!! I am grateful of the results that I have enjoyed so far. Like most slow losers, I wish I had lost more! But things are moving along. I am making changes that will not only help me lose the weight now, but keep if off in the long run.
 
I just went through a super stall, BUT to my surprise I got the most comments and compliments during that period!! Go figure lol!! My upper body slimmed down significantly, but my lower body is stubborn and will not be as flexible:( I did lose, but not as drastically as my top did. I hope that will be the next site of improvement or I am going to look very disproportionate:(
 
 
NSV:
I wore heels for the first time in YEARS today! And I felt ( do I dare say ) so SEXY lol!!! I am of good spirit and faith. I am going to win this fight.

So which came first...my obesity or my depression? Tough call - seems to go hand in hand. Lets just say I finally hit rock bottom and I have got to reclaim my life. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. In high school, I more or less became anorexic. I never was a puker, I just wouldn't eat. Even at that time I was a size 10 at my smallest. (Yep..."big boned" chic to boot lol) Since high school, my weight has fluctuated. I will lose weight, then gain it all back plus some. I was blessed with a beautiful daughter in 2009 and my weight has ballooned out of control since. I weigh what I weighed when I was 9 mths preggers?! Other than work, I avoid being in public as much as possible. Any time I am out and about, I feel like other people look at me and think, "Ew. Gross!" People treat you different when you are heavy. Men don't make eye contact and smile while they hold doors open for you. People in general have a different demeanor when they are interacting with a fat chic. I miss feeling attractive. I want to have energy to play with my daughter. I want to stop avoiding social functions because everyone is Facebook happy and "tags" horrible photos of me. I want to feel like my sweet husband is attracted to me and proud of how I look. I want to enjoy shopping for clothes. I want to feel NORMAL!!! This isn't living. I feel sad and I have horrible self esteem. I have my first consult with the surgeon tomorrow for the vertical sleeve. I have started the process of all my insurance requirements (Cigna) and gathered paper work from my PCP and the Bariatric clinic I have been a card carrying member off intermittently since 2009. So...here I am. I am sure many of you can relate to my story. Any good vibes sent my way for speedy insurance approval are greatly appreciated. I look forward to getting to know you guys and sharing our journeys.
 
~Tink

I think one of the hardest things we deal with is the advice of others who may mean well but often don't understand why we need surgery.
 
Click below to go to the blog
 
The Advice Of Others

Five months ago today I had my gastric sleeve surgery. I am happy to report that i am down 56 pounds!!! 64 more to go to goal!!

Happy 1 month Sleeve Anniversary to me! It's my 1 month Sleeve-versary and well, it's been a rough one! I just spent the last 4 days fighting the urge to smoke a cigarette because I'm struggling with my coping skills (and I haven't smoked in YEARS!!!). I drove 9 hours one way, just to see my grandmother who's terminally ill in Hospice in FL. My sleeve acted more as a shock collar because I kept eating terrible foods. Two bites in was throwing up. My sleeve is teaching me to change my behavior, but with so much emotional stuff going on in my life lately it's really been testing me to make the right decisions with food. This indeed is a journey, of learning and understanding. <3
 
Knowing my past habits, I know I would have derailed already and would have binged ate at certain emotional crossroads. At my family dinner on Saturday night, family I hadn't seen in years gathered to say their final goodbyes to my grandmother- and then came the food. Food I would have eaten and eaten and eaten and never stopped. But my sleeve didn't let me fail. I know this sleeve is the best decision I have ever made. Even when I had the urge to give up on myself, my sleeve wouldn't let me. It keeps me honest. It keeps me accountable. And for that I'm so very, very, very, grateful. I could only imagine how much my life will change in 6 months, just the progress in the last month has been such a welcomed relief and gives me hope of a better tomorrow. I might not be at goal weight right now, but I'm getting closer and closer everyday. And I see progress- which is much more than I can say for any diet I've ever been on before. And I don't feel deprived. Now that I'm 4 weeks out, I can eat anything I want- except I don't want the garbage, since I can only get a few bites in, I want to make them count with good delicious flavored food. Me, chicken, and steak, are now BFF's.
 
I <3 my Sleeve.
 
Height: 5'9
 
Heighest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
 
Sleeved 8/17/2012 @ 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)

Happy 1 month Sleeve Anniversary to me! It's my 1 month Sleeve-versary and well, it's been a rough one! I just spent the last 4 days fighting the urge to smoke a cigarette because I'm struggling with my coping skills (and I haven't smoked in YEARS!!!). I drove 9 hours one way, just to see my grandmother who's terminally ill in Hospice in FL. My sleeve acted more as a shock collar because I kept eating terrible foods. Two bites in was throwing up. My sleeve is teaching me to change my behavior, but with so much emotional stuff going on in my life lately it's really been testing me to make the right decisions with food. This indeed is a journey, of learning and understanding. <3
 
Knowing my past habits, I know I would have derailed already and would have binged ate at certain emotional crossroads. At my family dinner on Saturday night, family I hadn't seen in years gathered to say their final goodbyes to my grandmother- and then came the food. Food I would have eaten and eaten and eaten and never stopped. But my sleeve didn't let me fail. I know this sleeve is the best decision I have ever made. Even when I had the urge to give up on myself, my sleeve wouldn't let me. It keeps me honest. It keeps me accountable. And for that I'm so very, very, very, grateful. I could only imagine how much my life will change in 6 months, just the progress in the last month has been such a welcomed relief and gives me hope of a better tomorrow. I might not be at goal weight right now, but I'm getting closer and closer everyday. And I see progress- which is much more than I can say for any diet I've ever been on before. And I don't feel deprived. Now that I'm 4 weeks out, I can eat anything I want- except I don't want the garbage, since I can only get a few bites in, I want to make them count with good delicious flavored food. Me, chicken, and steak, are now BFF's.
 
I <3 my Sleeve.
 
Height: 5'9
 
Heighest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
 
Sleeved 8/17/2012 @ 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)

Happy 1 month Sleeve Anniversary to me! It's my 1 month Sleeve-versary and well, it's been a rough one! I just spent the last 4 days fighting the urge to smoke a cigarette because I'm struggling with my coping skills (and I haven't smoked in YEARS!!!). I drove 9 hours one way, just to see my grandmother who's terminally ill in Hospice in FL. My sleeve acted more as a shock collar because I kept eating terrible foods. Two bites in was throwing up. My sleeve is teaching me to change my behavior, but with so much emotional stuff going on in my life lately it's really been testing me to make the right decisions with food. This indeed is a journey, of learning and understanding. <3
 
Knowing my past habits, I know I would have derailed already and would have binged ate at certain emotional crossroads. At my family dinner on Saturday night, family I hadn't seen in years gathered to say their final goodbyes to my grandmother- and then came the food. Food I would have eaten and eaten and eaten and never stopped. But my sleeve didn't let me fail. I know this sleeve is the best decision I have ever made. Even when I had the urge to give up on myself, my sleeve wouldn't let me. It keeps me honest. It keeps me accountable. And for that I'm so very, very, very, grateful. I could only imagine how much my life will change in 6 months, just the progress in the last month has been such a welcomed relief and gives me hope of a better tomorrow. I might not be at goal weight right now, but I'm getting closer and closer everyday. And I see progress- which is much more than I can say for any diet I've ever been on before. And I don't feel deprived. Now that I'm 4 weeks out, I can eat anything I want- except I don't want the garbage, since I can only get a few bites in, I want to make them count with good delicious flavored food. Me, chicken, and steak, are now BFF's.
 
I <3 my Sleeve.
 
Height: 5'9
 
Heighest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
 
Sleeved 8/17/2012 @ 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)

I am a lil behind on posting as I was not to encouraged as this week I gained weight. I have read plenty posts about the dreaded 3 week stall or weight gain but I was convinced I would beat it...Not...
 
But all in all it has been a good week. I started eating soft foods and it was a welcome addition. Eggs with cheese was my first meal. I have made some othe recipes from Emily Bites andTheworldaccordingtoeggface. Most of them have turned out pretty good...I even managed to eat some shrimp and handled it okay considering I did not like shrimp pre-surgery...However at 21g of protein and only 1.5g fat and 4g carbs, it will become a frequent visitor on my menu. Still eating about 2-3 ounces of food before I get full and still adjusting to making sure I chew my food well to avoid that stuck feeling in my chest. My body still has not figured out how to resume regular bowel movements. I could probably lose a few pounds justing taking a good ole dump...lol TMI I know...My heartburn has also become more frequent over the past couple of weeks so I am resolving to taking priolsec or something of that nature with my daily vitamins. I started but stopped but realizing at least for now this is not possible.
 
This week I hung out with my cousin who had lapband surgery in Jan 2012. She has had minimal success with it. I was so amazed at how much she could eat compared to the amount I was able to eat. Now mind you she had 7 months on me but I still thought our eating habits would be the same. I took a high protein, low carb potluck dish over it went over well but all the things she made were so high in carbs or fatty. She also tend to graze which all the reading I have done said this is a way you "eat around" your band or sleeve. I also notice that her pantry was riddled with things I would be afraid to bring in the house because all willpower would be gone...I do not say all this to judge but i do so it to say that even with the surgery we have to still exercise healthy eating habits. The surgery is only a tool and if we do not use the tool properly it is unable to perform as intended. I was careful not to judge her because I did not want to come off as a surgery eating expert after just 4 weeks of diet compliance. It was just an eye opener to be cognizant to not let my old eating habits that led to me being overweight erode the sleeve.
 
On to the good news...I started out my journey a size 18..Well, this week I got into a size 13/14 jeans I had bought about two years ago...A phenomenal feeling that was...so despite having gained two pounds this week, I looked over it as I twirled around in the mirror 4 sizes smaller than I was a month ago...And so many folk are noticing the weight loss and that too is a really good feeling. Something that nags at me is that thought no less than 20 people have told me I lost weight, my ex-boyfriend has not acknowledged my weight loss...I know he is an ex and I should not care...Obviously there was something that put him in the ex category and it wasnt good so I should let go. Easier said then done but that is another story.
 
I also measured today (09/16/12) and was pleasantly surprised at those numbers as well. I first measured on 08/23 so just under a full month
Neck -1 in Thigh -3/4 in Hi Wasit (just below breast) -2 in Natural Waist 2 in Belly Button (Abs) -3 3/4 in Chest 1 1/2 in Hips 2 1/4 in Biceps 1 in Shoulder -2.5 in.....Total Inches Lost 16.75.. :D
 
VSG 08/17/12
HW 232 08/13/12
SW 227
CW 210.4

Emotional Vampires & Toxic People... I'm doing an inventory of all my relationships, family, friends, etc. who have been instrumental in giving me bad advice, not being encouraging, or just breaking my heart, and hurting my feelings. How many people are really my friends because they like having a fat friend as a wingman? My family who tells me that WLS is a cop out? The exbf who said he's just not that attracted to "big girls". It's time to clean house, and dump the negative and replace it with the positive.
 
I didn't lose as much I wanted to this week because I was too busy crying and getting caught up in my feelings. Call it calorie deprevation, stupid toxic people, exhaustion, or whatever, I was tired, and I was done. I had to make some apologies to some people this week for ripping off their heads, when in reality it wasn't them I was mad at- I couldn't communicate because I've kept my surgery private. So it's hard to express to people what I'm going through or feeling, when they have no earthly idea. I've got to just cut off certain people, and chill out with others. Time to find that zen place in my life.
 
Annnnnddddd MONDAY is my 1 month sleeve anniversary! I will be doing another post on Monday with my before and after pics side by side. I've definitly lost inches and I'm trying to focus hard on my training and not so much on anything else. So tune back in Monday for all the fabulous pics and help me celebrate my 1 month Sleeve-versary!
 
Height: 5'9
 
Heighest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
 
Sleeved 8/17/2012 @ 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)

This morning I stepped onto my scale to discover I hit One-derland! Last I checked I've been hovering between 200.6 and 200.2, this morning I was 198.0.(I checked several times just to make sure). A lot of this had to do with working out. I'm 20 days post op, and I survived my first water polo practice last night. Note to all those who about to start workout regiments... STRETCH before doing the activity. I got to the pool deck late because of my class and I threw on my swim cap and goggles and dove in- BIG MISTAKE. I felt everything in my body shift and have a ripping sensation. IT WAS NO BUENO. No damage was done, but I think I shocked my body. I took it slow on the conditioning portion, swam steadily- backed out of the sprints, and then did fine during ball handlng and shooting drills. I opted not to scrimage my first couple of days back to prevent anyone from kicking me in unnecessary areas. All in all practice was a success but lessons were learned about listening to your body. Today is my first masters swim practice at lunch then round 2 of water polo practice tonight. It's looking to be a long week, but I'm totally ready to "embrace the suck." Nothing is more motivating to work out than to see your numbers go down!
 
‎8/17/12 Post-op 20days
 
5'9
 
HW 216
CW 198
(-18)
GW 169

Emotional Vampires & Toxic People... I'm doing an inventory of all my relationships, family, friends, etc. who have been instrumental in giving me bad advice, not being encouraging, or just breaking my heart, and hurting my feelings. How many people are really my friends because they like having a fat friend as a wingman? My family who tells me that WLS is a cop out? The exbf who said he's just not that attracted to "big girls". It's time to clean house, and dump the negative and replace it with the positive.
 
I didn't lose as much I wanted to this week because I was too busy crying and getting caught up in my feelings. Call it calorie deprevation, stupid toxic people, exhaustion, or whatever, I was tired, and I was done. I had to make some apologies to some people this week for ripping off their heads, when in reality it wasn't them I was mad at- I couldn't communicate because I've kept my surgery private. So it's hard to express to people what I'm going through or feeling, when they have no earthly idea. I've got to just cut off certain people, and chill out with others. Time to find that zen place in my life.
 
Annnnnddddd MONDAY is my 1 month sleeve anniversary! I will be doing another post on Monday with my before and after pics side by side. I've definitly lost inches and I'm trying to focus hard on my training and not so much on anything else. So tune back in Monday for all the fabulous pics and help me celebrate my 1 month Sleeve-versary!
 
Height: 5'9
 
Heighest Weight: 216
 
1st Goal Weight: 169
 
 
Sleeved 8/17/2012 @ 216 lbs
 
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)

Greetings to all you out there,
 
Michele here, and I guess I wanted to share some of my personal journey with you all. My heart is somewhat heavy but I am finding joy and excitement in this process just the same.
I have been praying for change, feels like all of my life, but I think I really got clear last year on the change I wanted to see. I was in a relationship with a man who was kind, gentle, quiet, and much older than me. We got along O.K. but I knew in my heart we where not the best for each other. Quite a few things was wrong in our relationship, but one of the main issues was we saw life quite differently. He cares very little about his health, and that's all I care about, my health. Like I said before I prayed for change and it wasn't long before the Universe had the ball rolling, to make a long story short we broke up in December 2011.
In my mind however, I thought we had a chance of reconciliation, not wanting to let go and Let God, I continued to hold on to that hope, and even after I had decied to go through with this life changing procedure, I still wanted to hold on to the old me and my old life and my old way of doing things.
As of August 2012, he has officially started another relationship. At first I was very hurt, as turbulent as things where, he was still my best friend, and I had grown to be very dependent on his emotional support, but now is the time for me to move forward by myself.
I realized it was all in Divine order. It was so fitting that he find someone new one month before my surgery, so we both can break this emotional tie we have to each other, especially me. The weight challenge has been mine, and I think relationship issues, in some form or fashion have played a role in this struggle. I really don't like being by myself, and it took me a while to figure out the difference in being by myself, and being alone *vs* being lonely.
The Universe is now giving me what I want, a change in my life for the better, a fresh start at a healthy lifestyle and an active life. All old must be removed for the new to enter. I wish him only the best, I am forever grateful for the time (6 years) we had together. I send all the Love, Peace and Blessings to him and his new Love, and I am so grateful for the new Love that I am moving forward with ....Me.

Wow...where do I start....
 
I up my workout game this week. Moved from 2.5 miles to 3 miles of walking this week. I am really loving this sleeve knowing that the fruits of my workout will reflect in my body transformation. I walked into my office yesterday and one of the ladies said I looked stunning. It did wonders for my inner self. In fact, a number of people are commenting on my weight loss. I went to a BBQ on Labor Day (dat was torture) and I girl I had not seen in a few months, told me I had lost weight and looked good...Made me feel all giddy..especially since I am still about 50lbs shy of my final goal...I can only imagine what that will look like. But back to the BBQ...There was so much food and drink...I think I missed the alcohol more than I did the food. BBQ is almost a synonym for drinking and all could have was my light pink lemonade...The compliments made it better though...lol...
 
This week also represents the week, I put on a two pair of shorts I could not wear pre-surgery and a pair of jeans...One pair of shorts was actually loose...I have this lil dress that I wore in the day that I absolutely loved. I am not sure if I would wear it again as an outfit as it is dated but I kept it because I wanted to get back into it...The day that happens....I think I am going to hit the floor....(but I also plan on taking pics to mark that day).
 
I told my mom about the surgery this week. I had not told her before because when I tried feeling her out about it, she had so much negative stuff to say so I left her out of one of the most important decisions of my life. I felt bad and underhanded but I needed to mentally prepare for this surgery and so could not deal with her opinions. She still had some stuff to say about it but now that it is done, I do not receive her comments as hard.
 
This Sunday I am able to start soft foods. I am so happy...These last two weeks I have really begun to miss food. I have planned about 30 first meals...lol..My body is over the protein shakes so I need some natural protein. My stomach is upset with the protein shakes. As I begin to eat, I am hoping I can once again tolerate them as they offer a good influx of protein if you are struggling to get it in.
 
I am still not having regular bowel movements without assistance of a stool softner. Driving me crazy as I went everyday so to be only able to go once a week with assistance gets me so out of sorts.
 
But with all that said...where I am today...I think I am beginning to see some changes..I measure next Friday so I am excited to see what those numbers reveal.
 
VSG 08/17/12
HT 5'8
HW 232 (08/13/12)
SW 227
CW 208.8 (-23.6lbs)
 
I will take it...I had a goal (one of many) to be 205 by 09/17. I am on target to make it happen...(Sleeve don't fail me now..lol)

This morning I stepped onto my scale to discover I hit One-derland! Last I checked I've been hovering between 200.6 and 200.2, this morning I was 198.0.(I checked several times just to make sure). A lot of this had to do with working out. I'm 20 days post op, and I survived my first water polo practice last night. Note to all those who about to start workout regiments... STRETCH before doing the activity. I got to the pool deck late because of my class and I threw on my swim cap and goggles and dove in- BIG MISTAKE. I felt everything in my body shift and have a ripping sensation. IT WAS NO BUENO. No damage was done, but I think I shocked my body. I took it slow on the conditioning portion, swam steadily- backed out of the sprints, and then did fine during ball handlng and shooting drills. I opted not to scrimage my first couple of days back to prevent anyone from kicking me in unnecessary areas. All in all practice was a success but lessons were learned about listening to your body. Today is my first masters swim practice at lunch then round 2 of water polo practice tonight. It's looking to be a long week, but I'm totally ready to "embrace the suck." Nothing is more motivating to work out than to see your numbers go down!
 
‎8/17/12 Post-op 20days
 
5'9
 
HW 216
CW 198
(-18)
GW 169