CdnExpat

I finally decided to actually join VST. I've lurked on the forums for about nine months as part of my decision-making process. Unexpected things happened when I finally talked with my doctor here, and I ended up being added to a study in progress here in the Middle East. So instead of having to pay the whole shebang myself, I only had to pay the hospital part. That definitely swayed my choice toward surgery. So here I am. April 4 was sleeve day, and other than some pretty incredible nausea afterward for about three days, everything went really well. I had no pain medication at all, much to the surprise of the nursing staff here who are accustomed to giving morphine every four hours on the dot. No thanks. No drains, and no other complications either. Whoo hoo. I guess the biggest surprise is how quickly my attitude toward food changed. I thought a lot about what being sleeved would mean before the surgery, and actually had a grief response at the idea of not being able to eat as before. I didn't really think of specific things I would miss, but rather that I would miss eating itself. My husband (HWHN) and I are Culture Vultures and Foodies... for about the past 30 years. I couldn't imagine how that would work for us if I couldn't eat. So I imagined how I would feel and got all emotional. Reality is that I'm now completely turned off by foods I used to love. I have been reflecting on the change - I HAVE to eat rather than I WANT to eat. It's so different. Sometimes I get "mental hunger" but thanks to reading the forums I expected that, and given what I do, took a little mini self-quiz and recognized that the mental hunger comes when I'm Bored, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (the bane of addiction). That was a bit of a shock, since I would never have said I was addicted to food. Other than the initial weight gain during/after diagnosis, I've remained at a stable weight... too much, but stable. ;P Never would have said I'm addicted to food, but the mental/psychological struggle tells a tale. So I'm getting back to doing some things I loved and let go. Swimming, photography, writing, and reading what my mother always used to call, "Penny Horribles." (Novels with no redeeming value except to pass time pleasurably) And... HWHN and I had our first official date post op this week, and it was great. He orders what he wants, and I nibble off his plate. Beautifully done cube of rare roast beef and a sliver of Manchego cheese. Heaven. Tonight is my regular doctor visit, and I know I've lost weight because of my clothes, but I don't know how much. I don't keep a scale at home. I want the amount to be a surprise, and I want to gauge where I am in the process by how I'm feeling about myself, not by the numbers on some stupid torture instrument. Had enough of that. After 96 days, I'm down 6 sizes and coveting those pink skinny jeans. CE

Doc figured my goal as "100 pounds for the first 5' and 5 pounds for every full inch above that." Leeway is +/- 5 pounds. At 5'5" I'll be damn pleased with anything between 130 and 140! CE

Hang in there. Four weeks out is still new. The heartburn is usually taken care of by Pariet or some such which you take at night for the first 90 days ( or at least that's my dr's protocol). And I hear you about the grieving process. I did the same thing, and still sometimes have the mental craving to just eat anything I want. The enjoyment of food comes back, but with it comes a new kind of pleasure. I eat so little now that I take great enjoyment in eating good food. (Think "expensive" lol). I'm 95 days out, and today I had a beautiful, thinly sliced piece of rare roast beef with the loveliest sliver of Manchego cheese. I savoured every bite (slowly) and there was no downside. I am delighted to know that I will be able to appreciate food again, but in a different way. I am losing hair, but have done more research - it's not completely preventable since it's primarily caused by the surgery itself and the wls. It is temporary and can be helped by taking Biotin, making sure you get enough Iron, and use a shampoo like Nioxin. Really - this is a huge change and everything may seem sucky or WTF?! now, but it does get better. CE

I wasn't much of a steak fan before, but I love the idea of the crockpot. I used to do that all the time when my girls were at home and I can certainly go back to it now. Might also solve some of the issue with no drinking as well. Congratulations on being halfway. I'm a little less than halfway, but I also have to get exercising again - because I started out with a lower BMI the doctor thinks I'll have to give my metabolism some help to keep losing the weight. I don't care if I only lose a pound a month as long as I'm going in the right direction. This isn't a diet, it's a complete lifestyle change. I was told to plan on reaching my goal weight on the anniversary of the op. I can do that. CE

I'm afraid I have bad news. I have done everything I'm supposed to do in order to keep up the protein requirements. Isopure, eating Proteins first, measuring and weighing in order to ensure I'm getting enough, and 90 days post-op, my hair is falling out like crazy. I've had to have it cut short in order not to look like a fuzzball when the new growth comes in. The doctor keeps assuring me this is "temporary" but I have to say I'm pretty disappointed that in spite of forcing myself to do the Protein shakes (gross) and sitting at the table for an hour after everyone else is gone in order to finish that @#@#$ chicken breast, my hair is still falling out. CE

Nope. This is exactly how I feel, and sometimes I struggle mentally with the loss of enjoyment. My husband and I are long-time foodies, and now, going out isn't very much fun. We've managed to revisit a few of our favorite places - he orders what he wants and I "nibble" off his plate. (He says he loves the cheap dates!) But I certainly don't think about food like I used to. I'm usually not hungry and I find I have to force myself to try to eat the minimum calories I'm told I require. In my head, I miss the comfort that food brought, but I'm learning to do other, more positive things with that emotional space. As I do, I've found that my relationship to food is becoming more balanced. And that's a good thing. CE

There's all sorts of quality research indicating value judgments based on externals, including weight, looks, body adornments, clothing, etc are actually the norm, not the exception. There's also research that indicates that lack of self-confidence is not necessarily correlated to body image - some of the most unhappy people I've worked with were "beautiful" or "perfect" in conventional ways, but absolute wrecks on the inside. Conversely, there are people who are rock solid psychologically who are overweight, scarred, missing limbs, or otherwise body challenged. Johnathan's irritation with the generalization was warranted. That kind of "broad-spectrum armchair psychology" makes me mad, too.