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About secondchancesally

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    Expert Member
  • Birthday 10/15/1966

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About Me

  • Biography
    I'm a Mom, a Doctor, a Writer. But one thing I never have been is THIN. Looking forward to seeing if skinny girls have more fun!
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    My daughters, hiking, camping, creating art, cooking, travel
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    New York
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  1. secondchancesally

    Help... At the edge of giving up

    I totally understand. I haven't posted any year. I was so excited for this been to help but I cannot find that sweet spot of restriction. Either I'm vomiting up everything because everything gets stuck except liquids, or else I'm able to eat, small bites and well chewed, but still I never feel that phone is that I thought was supposed to happen to help me stop. If I was a person who is good at stopping eating after a cup, I would not have needed the band. I was really excited to be able to eat small portions and feel satisfied but that never happened. And I'm still the same exact way to year and a half later.
  2. secondchancesally

    Halfway To Goal...need A Mentor

    I started as a low BMI bandster who needed to lose because I have spinal arthritis and small kids. I have lost 31 lbs in a year but struggle to eat healthy and its especially hard since I cant seem to get the restriction right. I either dont feel it or Im getting stuck on teeeeny well chewed bites. I have had so many fills and infills. Now its going to come down to just being disciplined even though I dont have the restriction to help me. I would love a local NY area mentor who has had success and lasting weight loss. I am 46 years old, a professional, and a mom...not that it matters...we ALL have food issues here... but just in case it resonates w someone out there.
  3. secondchancesally

    Weight loss since surgery

    I had surgery 10/23/12 and have lost 31 lbs. I can not seem to get this restriction sweet spot. Im either unrestricted or getting stuck, but continue to work it all the time. filling unfilling etc. GOOD NEWS!!!! I'm at my halfway point today. 31 lbs lost, 31 to go. So inspired by those of you who have lost 50 or 80 etc. It can be done!!! Hard to imagine but you give me faith.
  4. OK so I went on vacation. It was quite awkward and I felt very self conscious, but frankly, the whole time I was there I was noticing my partners eating habits which are certainly not beyond reproach. She had dessert after every lunch and dinner and had between 4-6 alcoholic drinks a day. As much as I felt tempted to point this out, I didn't. I just minded my own business and ate how I wanted to eat, which was healthy. salads with fish for Protein mostly. I was pleased that although I dont yet really have perfect restriction I was able to eat in moderation and I was so glad to not be getting stuck on vacation. Clearly the part about not being attracted was not an issue because there was a lot of stuff that only should be discussed in the powder room area, but lets just say that it was not wishy washy. So what do I do with this information is the big question? Because I feel really hurt by what happened. I do NOT want to have the kind of relationship where we nag at each other and chip away each others confidence over too much drinking or unhealthy eating. Frankly that just results in my sneaking off to have a snack and feeling ashamed. Which I did. And which I am not proud of. I mean, she was having Desserts twice a day, so if I was craving something sweet why couldnt I have just indulged in moderation alongside instead of sneaking. It was just a granola bar for God's sake, not like I wolfed down a banana split! Ive never been ashamed of my weight or my eating and I dont intend to start now that I/m down 30+ lbs. So we need to continue to discuss this and I just hope I can be firm and resolute. I am not a child and I dont want to be motivated by fear or by someone else's disapproval.
  5. Thank you all so much for all the amazing support. I have spent the last 2 days alone just working and thinking. On the one hand I knew I had regained as much as I wanted to. But what bugs me most is that my partner felt entitled to say something knowing this is a sensitive issue and I'm already as on top of it as I can be. By the way,my partner is a woman...which I think makes it more egregious because one of the nice things usually about being in love w a woman is that they aren't as visually oriented as men and much MORE likely to love you for whats inside. That said, she also should have known better because once before she was critical of the way I dress in such a bohemian style. And I took it very badly. I love dressing like a hippie chick. It's how I express myself and my creativity and how I Celebrate weekends away from my conservative job. Despite telling her she was an ass for making me feel badly ( that time she also said,dress how you want I'm just not attracted to that look) I wound up feeling unable to wear those hippie clothes because the whole time I was aware that she was finding me unattractive. So i don't dress that way around her. So basically I plan to talk to her tonight and say that I really don't feel comfortable going on ths vacation. That I will be crawling out of my skin. Feeling judged and overly self conscious. I have decided to just be on Protein shakes during the trip and not go to restaurants with her because I will be wanting to eat and currently just can't. I also will tell her that I can't be physical right now because I feel too self conscious and bad about myself. If she has a problem with that I really don't mind not going. But most importantly indeed to tell her that her 'intervention' was not productive, I had decided to lose weight on my own but now I am motivated by shame and humiliation not by the right reasons. By now she should know that that kind of conversation makes me feel unloved and bad about myself. Each time she does it, it chips away at how much I can love her, feel safe with her, and be supported by her. I plan to tell her that I don't thi k our relationship can tolerate,ugh more of me being ,are to feel that I'm not ok. Ill report back on how it goes. Thank you again guys for all the support and anger and thoughtful words and cyber love. It really did help.
  6. So I recently (mid sept) had an total unfill because I was having surgery and then I had surgical complications and wound up losing 13 lbs. I was enjoying being 170 lbs...the thinnest I've been since I was a kid. But I was also enjoying eating and my weight went up to 179. I know, I know, its just 9 lbs and many of us would be very excited to be at 179... But this AM, after the person Im dating told me, as nicely as a person can say such a thing (I love you and want you to be the healthy vibrant person you should be) that they are no longer attracted to me sexually because of the weight gain. Of course they offered to diet with me and they are not breaking up...but the email I got made it clear that the weight gain is really not ok. My first impulse is to not that 1) I weighed 185 when we met and you were into me then.... 2) I hate to point out that you have gained quite a bit of weight since I met you also....but the truth is none of this is relevant. It really hurts to hear someone you are so in love with and attracted to isn't attracted to you. This was my first relationship post surgery and presurgery I hadnt been with anyone sexually for a long time. The chemistry that we had was so good for my self esteem, it was just so amazing to be that way again. But now I'm just feeling so mortified to read an email that says, "Ive been noticing how you fill your plate and then eat everything" "I see you lumbering out of bed and I know the weight isnt helping". We are supposed to go on a vacation next week and I dont know how to face eating meals together, sleeping in the same bed together etc. My impulse is to end the relationship and see if I can lose the weight. I just want to crawl under a rock. Then I keep telling myself that setbacks happen, and you start over. I shouldnt make such a big deal of it. But I need advice. Im at work and cant stop crying. Im glad all of this happened via email. I could not have handled this face to face. But what now? I need support people...
  7. I just wanted to share my profound disappointment with the bariatric team at NYU. I had a lap band w Dr Ren a year ago and had a successful outcome. 2 weeks ago I had an unrelated surgery and developed post op complications. My surgeon needed to speak w Dr Ren so he called, I called, may parents called, all asking Dr Ren or the resident on call to call us back. No one EVER called back. I let them know I was a fellow physician here in NY. I let them know i was having a surgical emergency. No one called back. I even in desperation told them that I was a self pay patient and oir $20k I felt I deserved a phone call. Nothing. My surgeon had to unfill my band and I couldn't eat anything, just IV fluids for 2 weeks. When I go in to get a refill you can bet I'm going to give them am earful!!! So wrong.
  8. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up based on a bad surgical experience I just had. I had my band placed a year ago. Two weeks ago I went in for an elective pelvic procedure for incontinence. I wound up having to stay in the hospital for two weeks because I developed something called An ileus, which is when your bowel stops working. It's pretty common after abdominal surgery, but usually only last a day or so. It's why they have you start with Clear liquids. My surgeon suspected that mine may have lasted way longer because of my band pressing on my Vagus nerve. Also, I did not know that we should probably have complete un fills before any surgery. When your bowel stops you need to vomit, and I couldn't because my band was full. When they finally deflated my band, oh boy, did I vomit for ages. But that's what my body needed to do and it couldn't because of my fill. So just a heads up, if you are having surgery of any kind, talk to your surgeon first. You may need an unfill before hand. I'm now 14 days post op and finally able to eat something other than clear liquids. Lost 13 lbs in 2 weeks because I was just on in fluids. Lookin skinny but man, that's not the way to do it. Also of note. During the worst of the emergency my family, my dr andi all called Dr Ren at NYU for info and NO ONE called us back. Imagine! A self pay 20k fellow physician patient has a surgical emergency and for a week no one from the bariatric team ever called us back despite paging in call dr repeatedly. This is appalling. Shame on you NYU.
  9. Currently at 180. Wish I was lower but it seems many low BMI bandsters don't lose as radically as people w more to lose. My band still allows me to eat portions that are bigger than a cup. 6ccs in a 10 cc band. I get stuck if I try to eat anything in the am. Lunch needs to be liquid. Dinners neeeeed hot tea first and then I can usually get down fish. I eat much healthier now even though I'm still size 16, and only 1 size down from where I started. But I want to feel sexy naked people!!! So i still have a ways to go. Goal weight 150. Gimme some support peeps. We can do this together!
  10. I get stuck about 3times a week. Eating small and chewing lots but boy do I have a hard time with solid proteins/meats/scrambled eggs. Yet I can still eat more than a cup. I try not to. I portion out a cup and I wait after I've had that but I'm still hungry. So sounds like I need a fill right? But the problem is I'm already having trouble eating and not getting stuck. Starting to feel like maybe I'm just a pig or don't have the discipline to eat so little. Also I'm a single working mom and my day starts at 7 and ends at 2am so I get hungry at night. Needless to say I haven't lost much more than the 25 lbs I lost pre op. do I get a fill? Or am I too tight? Surgery was oct 23
  11. I was banded 10/22 and have 3 cc in a 10 cc band w no restriction yet. I'm careful not to eat late or to overeat, but every single morning at 4 am I awake w terrible back Bain that radiates up to my palate. I'm too young for a heart attack and it goes away if I have a tums and sit up in bed, but it comes back at 6 am requiring another tums and sitting up in bed. The pain feels like when I had my gallbladder attacks. It is bad. But my gall bladder is out. I had a hiatal hernia repair so it shouldn't be reflux, but clearly it's acid related because tums helps. What is this and how do I avoid it so I can get a full nights rest!!??
  12. I had my first fill 2 weeks ago and she hit a capillary. She could tell because it was squirting. We pressed it and I thoughts its no big thing. That night I had a bad bruise. But it actually myst ave still been bleeding in there because it got really big and dark purple about 5 inches across. It's still purple and hard now. Anyone have this problem? I'm looking for tips to get fills without this happening every time.
  13. secondchancesally

    First Fill Today

    I finally had my first post op today even though surgery was oct 22. It went great. Esophogram was fine and Dr gave me my first fill. Apparently at the surgery she put 2ccs in my 10cc band and today she added another for a total of 3ccs. Here's the good news. I was nervous the fill would hurt. She had me lie on my back with my hands behind my head and do a crunch, and by the time I crunched the needle was IN! No pain at all! It took like 4 seconds and done! Liquids today and tomorrow, then back to normal on thanksgiving. They gave me a sand filled hourglass timer that times 30 seconds. I flip it when I chew meat so as to be sure to chew for 30 seconds. Then when I swallow I flip it again and wait 30 seconds for it to settle. My surgeon Dr Ren has the advantage that her husband is Banded, so she has watched him for years and this is the technique he uses. So I'm going to try it. Now for my BIG question: can you guys eat stuffing? It is my big treat after losing 20 lbs and I want some.
  14. secondchancesally

    Weird Week

    I'm 4 weeks out. The first 2 weeks I could barely eat and really lost. This past week I have NO problem eating 1200cal per day, and NO weight loss. But I do notice restriction. I really can't eat more than a cup at a time. And although. 1200 seems to be a decent amount for weight loss, it is SO much less than the portions I used to eat that I thought weight would be flying off.
  15. secondchancesally

    Solids Stage Recipes

    I am amazed to be seeing steak and rice and all kinds of stuff I didn't think we could eat after band, so you guys don't get stuck on beef?

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