cantwaittolose

My breaking point was 10 years ago. While I have always battled my weight...my food addiction had taken over my life...I was working 65 hour work weeks in a demanding/stressful career, flying constantly, working through jet lag and time zone issues. My work/life balance was non existent.
I ate on the run or ordering room service and raiding the mini-bar for high carb, high fat, high sugar foods. My Water intake was almost non-existent, I drank diet coke and coffee all day, everyday.
On the outside I was a happy, bubbly, competent, highly successful career woman, with supportive parents, a large group of friends. On the inside I was slowly killing myself, as I ate my way to over 300 pounds.
I bullied myself constantly with negative self talk, that perpetuated the cycle and in turn I began to hate myself.
It wasn't just the way I looked, it was the way I felt. My health issues increased, my energy level hit rock bottom and I had to admit that I needed medical help to get my life back.
I had tried all of the standard weight loss medications and diet plans, which always worked short term for a period of time, until the weight crept back up.
I knew that I needed to have a heart to heart talk with myself and get to a place of understanding to recognize that I am not a failure for having issues with food and being overweight.
I gathered up all of the strength I could find and I got a referral to a therapist to work on the inside, so I could understand why I was self-medicating with food...as I began to work on the inside, I found someone who deserved to feel good, to live the life that I had always dreamed of.
So 8 years ago, I got the Lap Band, and lost almost 140 pounds. I kept 110 pounds off since 2004.
Due to complications, with severe acid reflux, ulcers, and band slippage, I just had the band removed and the revision to the VSG.
I am feeling great. I am down 36 pounds and love my sleeve.
What I can say is that, there is no shame in admitting that you need help to lead a healthier more fulfilling life. It takes courage to admit to ourselves that we can not do this on our own. But each of us makes choices that are right for us individually.
Know that whatever's choice you make it will be the right choice for you.
We all deserve to wake up each day with energy, optimism and an attitude that says, I feel good about the person I am on the inside and one day I will feel just as good about the person I am on the outside.
Know that you are not alone. In your darkest moments, when you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and you feel desperate and scared, there are many of us, who feel just like you and are coming out the other side, stronger, more empowered and filled with pride at what we have accomplished so far and what we will accomplish in the future.
Weight Loss Surgery may be judged by those who don't fully understand. However this forum is a safe place, a community of courageous, like minded people, who have taken a brave step forward to battle their own demons and take charge of their lives for their own health and happiness.
Obesity is not a failure of mankind, it is a symptom of the world we live in and we can overcome the challenge with determination and self-forgiveness.
For me, my breaking point was really my starting point, to self-discovery and understanding.
I am a work in progress, but I am proud of my work and my progress :0)
Please excuse the typos! I am just learning how to use my new iPad. yikes! :0)

Suppose you have someone you truly love. Being around them and experiencing them makes you happy. But then this person starts making ever-increasing demands on your life. They move into every corner of your waking hours and even deprive you of sleep. They smother you, make themselves the center of your life, and cause you pain, weakness and embarrassment. But you still love them.
You don't kick them entirely out of your life, you just back them off, bring them into control, demand respect from them.
Good food is not evil. Too much food can be life-sapping and lethal.
I still love good food. I just refuse to drown in it.

Well, I have my date. July 16th. Wow. It still feels a bit surreal to me. I've done the research, read the blogs, asked the questions. And now it's my turn.
This site has been amazing for me. I know that it's hard to know what to expect, bc everyone is different. But what pearl of wisdom can you pass along? I know we all start in different places with different stories. But in truth, we are all linked in a way. We've had troublesome parts removed, to make way for our best selves.
I'm not nervous, right now at least. I'm sure that emotion will creep up sooner or later.
What surprised you the most? What has inspired you the most? What small thing has made the biggest difference for you so far?
Did you have a small talisman? Like an object or something that you can focus on to keep you on track? I know some people get a tattoo to commemorate their sleeve. I got a very pretty silver Bracelet, a gift from my mom and greatest supporter, and I wear it on my right wrist. So that each time I go to write, eat or sip, I can remember to be delicate with my sleeve.
I named her Stella. I'm not sure why I was drawn to that name. But I felt that, at least for now, I needed a way of talking about this journey in public without it being obvious that I'm having surgery. I've decided not to tell people right now.
I know this won't be the easiest thing, but I do feel like it will be an avenue for me to meet my best self. To become my best self. I am curious to see how I will change. Not just physically. But emotionally. And how my personality will change.
So, my date is set. I am excited for the introduction to my new, best self.

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the feedback! My doctor uses 4 incisions and no drain tube. I will stay one night and do the leak test the next day before I go home. I have good support - and am a little bummed I didn't get my original surgery date! I am a teacher and start back to work August 20th - wanted to be at 100% by then!!!
Looking forward to continued support here and sharing my story.....
Thanks again!!

I dream about that day! CONGRATS!!!!!!!

Hugs for dealing with that.
And I'm probably totally out of line but that's what happens when we talk about personal things in an open forum - sometimes someone volunteers things you don't want to hear or don't agree with. So before I start, please forgive me if I give offense.
I personally feel that our weight problems (in almost every case) start with our heads and emotions, not our stomachs. There's a reason we abuse food like a drug, that we overeat, that we hide from things with it and continue to do it even when we start to hate our external appearance and know food is to blame.
I would evaluate your relationship with your mother and see if there are any triggers there that have caused you to feel badly about yourself or that have contributed to whatever you've got going on that helped you gain weight in the first place. If you can pinpoint it you can confront her and talk it out, or at least be aware of it so it doesn't set you into an emotional tizzy.
I never considered that I had a lot of problems with my mother because we were finally on good terms before surgery, but I did have some poor habits I learned from her to deal with post op. And I didn't realize that she was perhaps unintentionally lashing out at me because as a woman that is very overweight herself, she was jealous that I was leaving her behind and finally losing the weight. This conflicted with her happiness that I was doing what she wasn't able to do and left me with a mom that was sometimes very supportive and sometimes very hurtful. Once I could talk to her about it, we were able to move forward, and we're trying to find a way to fund her surgery now.
Don't just get mad and brush it off, think about it and what it says. I have no doubt your mother loves you. But if this is an opportunity to learn more about who you are and why, and change it, and possibly help her to see things your way, why pass it up?
Congrats to you for coming here to vent instead of doing something to set your progress back.
~Cheri

Can we say HAPPY!?!?!?!?! Because, that's what I am!
I am officially out of the 300's and in the 2's. As of today I am 296.5lbs coming from 346 lbs in April. I thought I'd never break out of the 3's. I hoovered at 300.1 for 2 weeks and BAM! The 3's no more! and I'm never going back.. ya, hear me?! NEVER! lol
I am so happy with my sleeve. Matter of fact I'm in love with him. I call him Steve by the way.. "Steve the sleeve" lmbo and Steve brings me so much joy and happiness. I'm happy I made the decision to have VSG.. It's done me nothing but a ton of good, thus far.
Losing feels so good!!!

I have to do 3 weeks shakes/bars pre-op...last 3 days all liquid...it will be interesting to see how much I drop in those 3 weeks...
GOOD LUCK!

I know from experience that we (overweight people) are treated differently. And I can say that I actually purposefully put on 150+lbs so that I would be ignored!...how crazy ass backwards is that!?! I made such horrible decisions in choosing men....so when the last one broke my heart and nearly destroyed me, I put on my "fat suit" so I would be ignored by men and that way it wouldn't have to be my decision anymore. I absolutely succeed 100% in that men especially do not give eye contact...I feel the pity smiles from women but for the most part feel ignored. I have been on both sides and now that I trust myself I can't wait to get back to people paying attention and being noticed. However I do feel it's human nature - our minds make assumption/decisions in a blink, before we even know why we reacted the way we did....we are all "programmed", especially in this society to associate attractive/ thin with positive and fat/overweight with negative.

I know from experience that we (overweight people) are treated differently. And I can say that I actually purposefully put on 150+lbs so that I would be ignored!...how crazy ass backwards is that!?! I made such horrible decisions in choosing men....so when the last one broke my heart and nearly destroyed me, I put on my "fat suit" so I would be ignored by men and that way it wouldn't have to be my decision anymore. I absolutely succeed 100% in that men especially do not give eye contact...I feel the pity smiles from women but for the most part feel ignored. I have been on both sides and now that I trust myself I can't wait to get back to people paying attention and being noticed. However I do feel it's human nature - our minds make assumption/decisions in a blink, before we even know why we reacted the way we did....we are all "programmed", especially in this society to associate attractive/ thin with positive and fat/overweight with negative.

Speaking from my experience only...YES they do treat you better on average. More people smile at me, men hold the door open more often, retail people ask me if I need help more often, men of my aqaintance whom would never have considered me anything more than a friend now look at me in a different light.
I am not different person. (Or am I putting on more confident airs?) What I want to mention is that I am so much more sympathetic and apathetic to obese strangers now. If you are in the store and see me smiling at you, it is because I understand not because I am staring.
This is a journey with many ranges of emotions to deal with along the way. Take the bad with the good for the good FAR outweights the bad. We can not change others opinions, only ourselves.
Hugs - I love my sleeve and have no regrets.

Timely topic for me to see
I believe people do treat me better/differently now I am average looking (still carrying a bit but nothing like before). Sometimes I struggle with this and other times I just roll with the punches.
Part of the change also is due to the change in the way I treat my self. I have more self confidence and am alot happier in who I am and where my life is going (for the most part).
Not a day goes by where I am not told by someone how great i look etc. This is flattering but thankfully they werent walking up to me before telling me how bad I looked.
Most people that meet me now, cant comprehend that I was ever as big as I was, which is nice too.
Ok ramble much....
My point (or 2c) is that it doesnt matter how other people treat you now, the most important thing is how you treat yourself. Others will treat you the same way.

I know from experience that we (overweight people) are treated differently. And I can say that I actually purposefully put on 150+lbs so that I would be ignored!...how crazy ass backwards is that!?! I made such horrible decisions in choosing men....so when the last one broke my heart and nearly destroyed me, I put on my "fat suit" so I would be ignored by men and that way it wouldn't have to be my decision anymore. I absolutely succeed 100% in that men especially do not give eye contact...I feel the pity smiles from women but for the most part feel ignored. I have been on both sides and now that I trust myself I can't wait to get back to people paying attention and being noticed. However I do feel it's human nature - our minds make assumption/decisions in a blink, before we even know why we reacted the way we did....we are all "programmed", especially in this society to associate attractive/ thin with positive and fat/overweight with negative.

Hi All,
Before I introduce myself I have to thank all of you for sharing all of your experiences, honesty, truths, triumphs and some defeats...but it is all of you that helped me make my decision to get the Sleeve! THANK YOU! I went to my consult last week and I'm scheduled for August 2nd! I'm so lucky that insurance was super easy.
So a little about me, I just turned 40 and I've been a single Mom for 12 years...my 2 boys are practically grown...now it's time for me! It's hard to imagine sometimes losing such a significant amount of weight! I'm 350 (highest ever) and my goal is 165...that's when I was looking pretty damn hot 10years ago. 10years!...where does the time go? All i know is I can't imagine another year being so overweight and not really living life! I am very excited about sharing the journey with all of you and supporting you in yours!