Fr33B

TEARS!!!! .....I'm in the EXACT position you are in. Only I have surgery on Tuesday. I'm glad to hear I'm not in this alone. Like you, I know I can loose this on my own. My biggest problem is NOT EATING. I'm in this position b/c i eat less than i should. I'm scared I will loose the same on the band as I would on my own. I'm going to go thru counseling again and in 6 months if I loose more than I expected to on my own then I don't need to go thru putting a device in my body. But this lifestyle change is up to you. To me, this about you emotionally. Can you accept this knowing you can do it on your own? Either way I'm rooting for you!!!!! Woohoooo!!!! Lol you'll be fine with it or without it.

I am scheduled for 11/20 and I have been waiting for this day forever. But in the past week I am wondering if maybe this isn't for me after all. I lost 20 pounds on my own so far, losing about 2 pounds per week. I am not starving myself, just eating more sensibly by making better food choices and watching my portions. I also walk about an hour a day, five days a week.
I see a lot of banded people really aren't losing as much weight as I would have thought. I know that it is a slow process when compared to gastric bypass but I am wondering why I am losing more without the band. But then I look at some of you who have had unbelievable success with it and it inspires me. What should I do?

I feel alone right now. I am the only one in my household that has any issues with my weight. I've been banded since July. I'm having trouble being motivated for exercise, eating better, Portion Control, and all out support. My spouse tries to help but he's not great at it. He tries to make things easier for me to eat and to cook better things but... he's still a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy. I don't always have time to cook since I go to school at night. I try to make sensible, healthy choices but I feel like I'm faltering. I've started keeping a food diary at the recommendation of one of my aftercare specialists. I also get easily bored with food. I can't eat the same thing all the time. I can for a little while until I burn myself out on it but then I won't eat it for a long time.
I don't like to sound like I'm whining but I feel utterly alone. My husband doesn't know what it feels like to want to eat, know you should eat, but if you don't eat slow or in small amounts that it hurts and you actually feel better throwing up than digesting what you ate. I don't think I understand what it's supposed to feel like right now. I've been banded for 3 months and I've only lost 20 lbs. I would ask if that's bad/good/okay/normal/etc. but I understand that everyone is different. I went to the clinic last week and we added some Fluid since I had no change in my weight. I didn't lose or gain anything; which is good but also bad.
Normal day eating is as follows:
Breakfast: Atkins Advantage Meal bar/light meal bar & coffee
Lunch: Soup, crackers, water/tea
Snack: jicama, cucumber, or beef Jerky. (Any one of those, not all)
Dinner: some form of Protein, starch/carbs, vegetables
Drinking: Water, tea, diet pepsi with lime juice, coffee
Exercise: I walk around at work since I work a desk job, try to go to the gym and hit the weights or do some cardio but lacking motivation right now.
Help!

Bahahahahahahaha!!!!! Rotfl!!!! Men have the most awkward convos! I love it!!!

I really appreciate everyone giving me their thoughts. I'm taking everything into consideration and I've made an appointment to see a counselor and follow up. I know I need to fix issues with myself first.

Bahahahahahahaha!!!!! Rotfl!!!! Men have the most awkward convos! I love it!!!

I've noticed a pattern in my thinking over the past few months...that my "head", and my perceptions of self have not kept pace with the reality of my weight loss. Though this is common treatment issue in dealing with individuals with eating disorders (i.e. anorexia nervosa, who believe that they are physically much larger in size than they really are), I never thought it would also be an issue with people in the process of going through significant weight loss.
I've had some difficulties with my thoughts regarding my weight; my automatic thoughts have not always been up to date with the actual number...I've become aware of myself thinking about my weight, and reverting back to the pre op weight I was at. Instead of a "onederland" number, I catch myself thinking of a number which begins with a "2".
I've had an extremely difficult time with purchasing clothing in smaller sizes...recently I needed to go shopping for some capri pants which were the correct size to fit me well, and I had shrunk out of everything which I owned. I was shopping with my sister...who encouraged me to look at misses sizes, and she humored me with allowing me to take in the identical capri's but in a plus size. The misses size was obviously a better fit and my correct size, and so that's the size I ended up purchasing...but it took every ounce of willpower for me to not also purchase the plus size also.
The same debate with myself is ongoing as I shrink into a smaller sizes...as I automatically look for a larger size, and if I don't find it I resist choosing to try on a size smaller just to see if it will fit. I've been pleasantly surprised several times when the smaller size was actually the one to fit.
I can "see" the evidence that physically I am smaller; I no longer have to adjust the seat in my car to get in, I fit comfortably into restaurant booths, my mobility has increased, and the size on the clothing tag is a smaller number. But I continue to be challenged with the automatic thinking which places me back at the beginning of my weight loss journey. Eventually I know my "head" will catch up with the rest of me...just another part of my journey.

Very well thought out post, enjoyed reading it.
I will also have trouble buying smaller clothes, I have always been a very large girl, and within the last two months I have noticed changes with myself. Seat belts being looser, I can fit into the chairs outside of my doctors waiting room, machines at curves are so much easier for me to get in and out of, and the most important/biggest thing to me - the fact that I now have so much more leg room when it comes to sitting in the passanger seat of a car. These little changes, have made a world of difference in my thinking, just because I can now fit into things/more comfortably in stuff I was never able to before.
My friends have noticed I am shrinking, my family - my clothes, shirts in particular, are starting to become baggy on me. Pants are becomming loose. It's just amazing to me. I believe I will have issues shopping in a few months times when I start shopping for a new wardrobe, because I am so used to being in the biggest possible sizes. That is something that will never change for me, as I spent 12 out of my 22 years looking directly at the biggest end.

As a retired counseling professional, I can share with you that it is essential for you to deal with the issues which are contributing to your depressed mood. Though you may feel it punitive to delay your surgery, there are valid reasons for you to be in a better place emotionally prior to your surgery.
From your writing, it seems that you feel, as is one of the hallmarks of depressed mood, that you feel helpless and hopeless to regain a sense of self determination, and instead believe that others hold the power to control the direction of your life and the choices you are able to make. Those beliefs alone can create a depressed mood in some individuals.
It's a difficult situation, but if you empower yourself to begin the process of increased self determination it will help immensely with your mood. There are simple ways to begin this process...first, structure your time to increase your amount of exercise. This helps your mood by creating endorphins in your brain, which are natural mood enhancers. They energize you, and then you begin to build on your initially small successes.
Identify ways for you to increase your level of self determination, i.e. enforce better eating habits for yourself. Get in your exercise, as many days of the week that you are able. Create some realistic goals for yourself; all 3 types: short term (within a month), mid-range (1 month to 6 months out), and long term (6 months out to whenever). This should be Fluid...in other words, you should be adjusting the goals as you achieve them; the short term are completed, the mid range become short range, and so on. This will help to shift your focus to one of self determination.
There may be chemical reasons for your depression; some medications have a side effect of depressed mood. It would be helpful to discuss this with your primary care physician to rule out any medication caused mood issues.
It would be helpful for you to attend some counseling to assist you to identify your core issues with your depression...and they go well beyond your weight. There is a psychology behind maladaptive eating patterns. If you are able to understand it, than you will be able to modify your beliefs and learn strategies to counteract your negative thinking. Your relationship with food needs to change; understand that food is not your friend, you must learn different coping skills in dealing with your emotions if you are eating from boredom, anger or other emotional self sabotage reasons. You will likely not be able to make these essential adjustments to your beliefs until you are able to address your core issues, and psychotherapy with a qualified professional does help.
You can do this and be successful...but it will require you to become proactive to make it happen...and that's a major piece to the solution and resolving your depressed mood. This is a process and not an event...take a day at a time.
Best wishes for your success...

I bought it but I've yet to read it. So who wants to act out the scenes with me lol

This whole lose 30 pounds gain an inch of thing is pretty spot on for me......I mean nothing like gainning a little extra......
Just felt like telling someone.....lol....

Lol no but someone was complaining about how much they hate when people spell something wrong. The post was one sentence and had 2 words spelled incorrectly. How can you complain about others when you cannot spell.

I have delt with this issue many times. I hope my depression will ease up as the pounds melt away.

I debated for quite awhile before posting here. I answered yes I attempted suicide. (94 or 95 I cant remember the exact date)I was staying with and caring for my grandmother who was dying from breast cancer and dimentia. I was in a bad relationship and the guy was a total user and loser. I also was working full-time and going to college. I thought my only option was to OD on pills and end it all. After taking the pills I realized how self centered I was really being. I called my parents who lived next door and they rushed me to the ER. My stomach was pumped and I stayed over night. Counselors came in the next morning and asked a ton of questions, why, are you going to do it again, do you feel the need to hurt yourself, etc. etc. etc. I told them what I expect they wanted to hear. I knew I could never attempt or even consider suicide again. For years after that I wondered if I had made the right decision in making that call to my parents. Now I realize I did make the right decision. I realize everyday of what an impact I make in people's lives. Not only my family and friends, but coworkers, the mailman, the neighbors, the lady at the grocery store, etc. I realize I have a purpose and a reason and a meaning in my life. I don't know how many times since my suicide attempt that people have told me, "Pam I am sure glad you were here to help me out!" What would have they done with out me. I know God has a reason for me being here and someday, somehow I will put it to good use!