Jennifur

that is funny, now i can do it here at 90 and humid because i know i have no way home... at the gym i get bored and then i get off! I think i'm packed, have about 20 outfits just in case i'm having a day i don't know what looks good, and of course every bathingsuit i own. i hope i can sleep tonight, for a few solid hours anyway, it is going to be a long drive if i don't I'm bringing my computer but more of an emergency situation in case i need something on here, I think i need to activate internet for $12/day... mmmmmmmm i don't think so, i have my palm for mail and to look stupid stuff up, infact i think i'm even going to leave it in my backpack in the trunk next to my golf clubs that wont come out down there either. that is my new thing, i have had clubs for years, took a few lessons and that was the end of it. I went out a couple times last week to the driving range, dd got 2 sets of clubs, the new ones and the set she got when she was ds's age, and they are both lefty clubs, so we are going to get them down for him to teach him to play. anyway enough ramble, have a good few days xoxoxo if you don't hear from me for a long time, i hit the jackpot!

Good morning gals Tracyk- i'm going back to the gym like crazy when i get back, i feel fatter than ever and am at 203, only a couple lbs from my absolute lowest. since the lyme disease, what little muscle tone i had is gone and i feel like a ball of fat. How do you do 3 miles on the treadmill? I can do it on the streets in the heat but not inside, i don't know why It is off to a beautiful start here today, I hope it stays this way, I'm going to get some sun and play in the pool with the kids in between packing. Leaving at 6am to pick up my friend then off we go, hope to be at the beach no later than noon and sitting in the sun at th beach. I am so excited i am a ball of nerves and just cant stop thinking. I need to get a friends of animal traps to catch this squirrl that is making himself a nice path on my deck.

morning gals cloudy out here today, going to rain this am then clear up. We are going to a Pig Out today, the 2nd anual NYS BBQ competition, so i'm looking forward to it, that is the one thing i can always eat. not much else going on, just getting ready for my trip, doing laundry and drinking coffee. Terry where are you? Hi Tracy and Suzie I see you

Judy he does look much older than 5 months, and so cute. That was my entire tax refund + a little for that deck. I did a bunch of work and saved money and still spent $7k which includes the door - The bathroom cost was $700 which includes tiles for the floor and the new vanity. I am going to take the floor up when i get home. If i paid someone to do the bathroom it would have cost $2k easy. And there is not a day that goes by that I am not outside at some point, I try to eat dinner out there every night, and sometimes drink my coffee out there in the am if it is not too cold. Next year I am going to put a cover of some sort on part of it so we can be out there in the rain too. It is raining cats and dogs here, I don't know if it is ever going to stop.

oh ... did i mention that the slim shots are well worth the price? online they say 1st week 2 times a day then should only need 1 a day and they really work for me.. I usually snack and have my biggest meal at night, and if i do one when i'm starving and cooking, by time i eat i'm good to go, and if nothing else not so hungry i inhale my food and PB...

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hi gals had 1 hour of full sun and 1 hr of coudy floating in the pool, but i was already in and didn't care, no children were in there with me Haydee, that was a lot, i was thanksgiving full and i did not like that feeling at all.... I guess i could have had worse but because i was so stuffed it was a horrible feeling, and a little pms bloat was not helping either i'm sure. Today i made a salad in a small pasta bowl and ate that but because it was in my bowl it looked like more than it was, unlike the large one i got from a pub. Anyway, i got an email about Keith Urban and Sugarland coming here and I just got tickets, floor, 7th row. I am so excited... I do like Sugarland a lot, but Keith is my ultimate favorite and at least 2 songs are on every CD I mix up for myself.... thinking of that i need to make some travel music. I am so excited about the beach and getting my head together. This is and has been a very hard month. I got 1 extra ticket to Keith if anyone wants a nice fall foliage trip to upstate NY in October..... I'm going to post my finished bathroom pics in a minute... ok semi finished, when I get back i'm putting down a new floor but that will be easy since i'm taking everything out of there to do it.

hi gals i am full, actually ate an entire chicken cesar salad, took an hour but i was so starving and it was soooooo good, I suck I am going back to the gym when i get back from vacation, i hate myself and am at 203... i've been much more, infact, i was 216 10 days ago. anyway, going to get keith urban tickets tomorrow pre sale. I'm so happy, he is my ultimate favorite and was just announced.

morning gals we are supposd to have storms all day, so i'm relaxing and going to pack and then going out with my mom and aunt tonight for a drink. Tracyw- nice to have you back - I found those flat wraps last year, wally world also has a flax seed, wheet pita that is about the same nutrition and protein. I never thought of making chips out of them. i just had 1 egg and some grated zuccini and 2% velveta, it was so good and soft so i choked it down. I have to start going to the gym again to tone up, i am 3lbs away from my lowest and feel so much fatter than ever. anyway, going to help dd make some zuccini pancakes out of my left over from breakfast. enjoy the day

Hi gals what a crazy day, i guess that is good, my aunt has been here and left today so we all got up and went to breakfast, i had 1 eggbeater ... and then just made a small salad with lettuce, chicken and cheese for dinner. I over ate. Mom and I went shopping, this morning was good, at JCP and all was good, was definately a little bloated but good, found a few things and was happy, then we went to kohls - i HATE that store, nothing in there fits me right, and by then I was way bloated... so totally disgusted with myself. So off to Wal-Mart to get a couple things and got 2 pr of Jr shorts, they were a size 15 but JR, so i'll take that. Trying on clothes when you are going to have your monthy visit any minute is definately a very bad thing! came home, ate dinner, washed my car and then moms since i drive it as much as mine, and cleaned my entire car out, it was disgusting too. I'm exhausted but was very distracted today. Haydee - I'm driving to TX in May, it is going to be a trip but if i plan on that I will make it... so that is it, I am going to take a 1 1/2 weeks and that will be so much less stress on me and i will be there!

Morning gals i am awake, that is a good thing - still struggling through every day. I booked my trip to Atlantic City yesterday afternoon, I'm glad not going to CT. I don't think i could handle that. I got a room right at the Tropicana for $72 a night, my aunt who passed away is supporting my trip, all the cousins/aunts made a small contribution to my mental well being. I'll have a total of $400 in sending money which is more than enough, because what do i do?? i want to sit on the beach and pool and have some fun night life. I've never been able to do that because the kids were always too small to leave alone. I'm going to get my roots done this morning, they are horrible, and well... the last few times because of meds, and my overall health, they have been coming out different colors, last time was a little darker, the time beore my roots were bright red.... so i guess we will see today. Haydee, I think you should assign Judy to find the perfect dresses, it looks like she is on the right track...LOL Have a great day

weather in Mystic CT is crapy next week, so I am going to Atlantic City, I've never been, and it is going to be a perfect week, leaving Monday and coming home Thursday. Staying right at the Tropicana for $75 a night. I am very excited about that, someplace new, for me and my friend Michelle, we both have sad ties in Mystic so this is going to be a fresh tradition for both of us... just fun and girls! no family or relationship stuff so i'm even happier about that. well, no sunshine here today so my quiet day does not include sun.. oh well, time well spent on this adventure.

Haydee - you hit the nail on the head, although I was never married, i feel like the hard end of the divorce after all these years. But.... I do have faith, and I think that is part of what is helping me get out of bed every day, not helping with how i feel about me, but i'm not in bed so that is a bonus.

morning thanks for letting me vent yesterday, don't feel any better today but it is another day and i'm still breathing. I had to leave my cover off the pool and we had the cold night temps here last night so I'm afraid to look at how cold it is, but, I will be out floating in the sun if it ever comes out. DS is going with my aunt today so it is all about me. We are not having a summer at all here, and i love heat so that is a problem. LOL hope you all have a good day

Laura - I'm not sure what I can or cannot take with the meds i'm on, which are really helping, a year ago i would be in bed for weeks! I was going to wait to take the bathroom floor up but i will probably try to start that Tuesdy, when i was working to get everything finished, i was occupied, today was a lazy day and i had too much time to think

thanks for the kind words. Today is just a sad day - I feel lost and as i was going out not that long ago, i don't think that anyone could possibly want to be with me, although kev and i had issues, he always told me how proud of me he was, so out of no where for him to leave me just takes everything out of me. i just wonder why i'm so horrible and i'm going to spend the rest of my life alone. Kind of sad isn't it. well... on that happy note, I'm going to lie down and pray i can sleep, i'm not getting much of that these days either.

thanks i wish i could snap out of where i am too, it is not a fun place

Morning gals Tracy glad you guys made it through the weekend and all is weel. Terry - sounds perfect I'm really sick to death about my life change the last 10days, i don't know how to take any of it. I am hurting so badly and don't know what or how to move on. The party is over and I don't have anything major to distract me and in the last 12 hrs, that is not good, i have not slept more than an hour at a time in the last 10days and i am up thinking, which is not good. i don't know what to do with myself - and how worthless i feel, but i wont bore you with that. anyway, have a graduation party today, going to try to get my shit together so i can function. hope you all have good day

hi gals just a check in... everyone is gone and has been a very very long day i didn't eat much but i'm super stuffed and man i wish i could go to the bathroom. i offered to sit for a friends kid but he is bored out of his mind, i'm exhausted and he is here until midnight. i'm going to have to take a little nap, 20 mins or so i'm trying so hard to stay strong, but i think i might crash today. i'm tired and just mentally exhausted

Morning gals just wanted to check in before i vanish for the day. I'm showered and drinking my coffee before i have to finish getting things together and leave for the cemetary. I'm ticked because the pool is a little cloudy, we have had so much rain it was a mess from my ph being off, i got it clean except a few leaves i missed and almost clear but still a little cloudy, it is always perfect so it doesn't make me happy the day of a party. have a great weekend everyone oh i saw someone... an arch enemy to be honest.... who has thrown in my face recently she is smaller than me.. well, i didn't even know it was her and i knew when i saw her she had full rny - she lost 150lbs in 6 months and the skin on her face and neck alone made her look like she was 75years old.... and said she is super hot.... with all the skin and the hips and ass she had, can't be less than 25-30lbs less than me... and i'll take that anyday, expecially since i was out last week and was complimented and told i didn't look a day over 30. ok that is my good moment of the day... oh that and i'm down the 5 from june and maybe if i can go to the bathroom, i can get working on the -5 for july

hi gals, just sitting down for the first time in days had a bad emotional day yesterday with Kev, I'm trying to get some answers and closure to our past. He is probably going to be admitted to an in patient treatment center to get his mental issues taken care of, which he should have done a year ago when they wanted to put him in there. Anyway... sometimes the truth and honesty helps but hurts if that makes sense. on top of that, i don't have time for a complete mental breakdown, not even close. I got everything done, yard is mowed, bathroom is done until i take the floor up next week, wall in living room is done, laundry room is cleaned out (it is my office too) so tomorrow, i have to put ice in the coolers, which already are filled, and veggies that were cut tonight on the tray. That should be it! Tomorrow mornng i'll take pics of the bathroom and post them at some point, I am very pleased except I need to buy a new faucet which pisses me off, the one i have was $250 and that does not make me happy to replace. anyway, i'm going to run the vaccume and maybe go to sleep, i only got 2 hrs last night, but i did get to watch my all time favorite movie Practical Magic at 1am so that was a bonus hope you are all doing well and i'll catch up 100% this weekend Haydee... I say beautiful free wedding sounds great! LOL that would be my speed... oh wait, doesn't look like that is ever going to happen for me. anyway... talk to you all later

Terry the Wellbutriin must be working, today is not one of my better days - Kev and I are talking, i guess in my mind it is closure, but it is not easy, I can still cry and feel on the meds, but I can tell they are definately keeping me from going back to bed and not getting up, so i guess that is a good thing right? We are going to the cemetary, going to put her in the ground and say goodbye and then back here for the "party". It was so sudden when she died, but i got to tell her goodbye in hospice while they were waiting for her to go. She would want everyone together, and it is going to be nice. Mom used the rest of her money to buy food and booze and since i have the new deck and pool, we figured why go to a resturant where we couldn't just mingle and enjoy family? right My house is a huge mess because of finishing everything up, so besides cleaning, mowing and setting everything up, i am about to finish painting the bathroom - i was so tired last night i was starting to get sloppy - I have to paint trim and a couple shelves so i can put them back and wash floors My dd went to the today show today, she was not on tv but was by the door and along the rail, she met Bruno and was so excited.

Morning gals today is not one of my better days, but wanted to check in laura, that dress is beautiful, and pics are so nice. Happy bday Pamela

Haydee good luck with the dresses, they are all so different. Me personally, I would have to say my fav is the 2nd one, mostly because I love the back - I also love the Ashton Gardens, besides the chapel looks beautiful, but I would want to be inside with air. I would worry about being very hot outside, I'd be nervous as it is and add heat... i'd be sweating like a pig. lol The golf course does look really nice too, and either one will be beautiful.

Happy Birthday Michelle well, dd is off to NYC with her best friend, my mom, aunt and uncle... it is going to be quiet here. just me and ds. I got about 3 hrs sleep last night, got the living room painted last night with mom, going to hang curtins today and paint the bathroom walls, so when mom gets back tomorrow she can paint the ceiling and the trim, i'm just not good at that part. So after my aunt leaves, the tiles come out of the bathroom and the floor goes down, and done.. I don't know if i mentioned Sat we are having 20+ people here for a memorial service for my aunt, but it forced me to get a lot done. Only room left downstair is the laundry room. I'm going to enjoy August first. So... can you imagine how much I have to do for Saturday, mow, set up tents, tables, coolers, finish bathroom, clean, one last store run for veggie tray, beer and ice, and clean the pool. I'm tired thinking about it LOL. Only kidding, i can't sleep and not tired so i can do it, just need to organize my thought. Terry hope you have a great trip Everyone be good,