morelgirl

For now anyhow, had my second appointment were we decided that I didn't need a fill. Steady weight loss (Of course not as fast as I would like), 3-4 hours of satiety (Depending on if I stay away from simple carbs and focus on protein). Can pretty much eat anything, but have to be careful and have had a few stuck episodes in the last month when I wasn't.
 
It is kind of a bittersweet place to be, the green zone is this magical fairy land that is held out to us from the time we are banded, and yet here I am. I still wrestle with eating too fast, I still am plagued by head hunger, I still have to exercise, I still have weight to lose, I still get plateaued.
 
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU MEAN I STILL HAVE TO WORK AT MY WEIGHT LOSS, I THOUGHT THE BAND WAS MAGIC!!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

I attended support group last night, and then read CG's post this morning on want power has me thinking...
 
There is want, and then there is WANT. The problem is that we want it all, and society had told us, that we not only CAN have it, we DESERVE it. Ever seen a fad diet advertised "East want you want, and still loose weight"? The band for all it's power, doesn't replace our wants, at the most it mutes some of them.
 
I have had a rough couple of days, I hit a new low weight and immediately my head hunger took over and I tried to eat everything in sight. Well, I don't have to worry about that new low weight now. No, I didn't really gain, just excess fluid from jumping my sodium intake. But the point is there is a part of me that glories in my success wants to continue, and there is a part of me that is terrified of it and wants to go back to the old lifestyle.
 
Right now, I want to succeed, but the fear is that the greater the success the more terrible will be the tragedy of my eventual failure. Yes, I know this is not a productive thought process, but as we all know the band only works on your stomach, not your head.

I had a difficult weekend. I've been stressing over a work deadline for the last week or two, but things are really coming to a head. In fact, I'm beginning to hear that whooshing sound a deadline makes as it goes shooting by me. It won't be the end of the world, as it's mainly a self imposed date, but I'm still frustrated with myself that I haven't been able to make it, so the stress is building. In the past, stress for me has always equalled overeating, so my head hunger has just been rising and rising lately.
 
Yesterday, it got the best of me. I ate and drank way too many calories. Admittedly not as many as I could have, but still way more than I needed. Knowing that bad news at this point would only make me that much more likely to want to quit, I deliberately did not do my weekly weigh in this morning. I do that every morning right after I get up, after I've gone to the bathroom but before I put on clothes, and I record the result of each Monday's scale readout. Today, I officially took the day off. Of course, I couldn't stay completely off the scale, but I waited a couple of hours and weighed myself with clothes on. That way, I can pretend the number is inaccurate. Of course, the number was up so I started to get down on myself,
 
Then, I realized something. I hadn't taken any measurements of myself in just over a month. Out came the tape measure. I don't take a ton of measurements, just three that are recorded in MFP, but I'm still really glad I remembered to do this. I've lost 3.3 inches! Knowing that was like a huge weight (no pun intended) lifted off my shoulders, because it means that what I'm doing is really making a noticeable difference. The numbers on the scale can get kind of abstract because they move up and down so easily and are influenced by so many things, like salt and water and TOM, that sometimes it doesn't feel like those losses are real. The ones on the measuring tape, though, those can't be disputed.
 
I really needed the good news today. It helped me to get my head back on straight so that I can take a deep breath and get back to work, both professionally and with my band. I know this journey won't be quick and it won't be easy, but sometimes a reminder really helps. Once a month measurements, which I had planned to do all along, gave me that reminder today, and boy, I needed that!

I had a difficult weekend. I've been stressing over a work deadline for the last week or two, but things are really coming to a head. In fact, I'm beginning to hear that whooshing sound a deadline makes as it goes shooting by me. It won't be the end of the world, as it's mainly a self imposed date, but I'm still frustrated with myself that I haven't been able to make it, so the stress is building. In the past, stress for me has always equalled overeating, so my head hunger has just been rising and rising lately.
 
Yesterday, it got the best of me. I ate and drank way too many calories. Admittedly not as many as I could have, but still way more than I needed. Knowing that bad news at this point would only make me that much more likely to want to quit, I deliberately did not do my weekly weigh in this morning. I do that every morning right after I get up, after I've gone to the bathroom but before I put on clothes, and I record the result of each Monday's scale readout. Today, I officially took the day off. Of course, I couldn't stay completely off the scale, but I waited a couple of hours and weighed myself with clothes on. That way, I can pretend the number is inaccurate. Of course, the number was up so I started to get down on myself,
 
Then, I realized something. I hadn't taken any measurements of myself in just over a month. Out came the tape measure. I don't take a ton of measurements, just three that are recorded in MFP, but I'm still really glad I remembered to do this. I've lost 3.3 inches! Knowing that was like a huge weight (no pun intended) lifted off my shoulders, because it means that what I'm doing is really making a noticeable difference. The numbers on the scale can get kind of abstract because they move up and down so easily and are influenced by so many things, like salt and water and TOM, that sometimes it doesn't feel like those losses are real. The ones on the measuring tape, though, those can't be disputed.
 
I really needed the good news today. It helped me to get my head back on straight so that I can take a deep breath and get back to work, both professionally and with my band. I know this journey won't be quick and it won't be easy, but sometimes a reminder really helps. Once a month measurements, which I had planned to do all along, gave me that reminder today, and boy, I needed that!

...the kind in the old saying: swimming serenely on the surface and paddling like a lunatic underneath.
 
Actually, I've been doing fairly well ever since I got back on board with my band (3/8). The additional fills have made a difference and at 9.25cc, I've decided to consider myself I the green zone. I stay not hungry for about 4 hrs after a meal. I never experience stuck episodes or PBs, thank goodness, but I am a pretty conscientious chewer, which is good because my bite size varies depending on the texture of the food I'm eating. I make sure to get my minimum 50g of protein per day and I keep track of my calories, but other than that I don't stress abut counting anything else (fat or carbs). I still eat "bad" foods occasionally (like chips) but only in moderation, in premeasured servings, and I always count the calories and try to make sure that at the end of the week I average out around 1200 calories per day. I can eat bread, rice, pasta, asparagus, steak ... there is nothing I have ever tried to eat that I was unable to eat. I also don't ever feel like my band "stops" me from eating. My portions are usually 1 cup at a time, sometimes 1.5 cups, but I never feel stuffed after eating or that my band is telling me to stop. My mind tells me to stop because it remembers the rules given to me by my doctor.
 
In reality, I'm learning to be okay with that. Part of me wonders if I'm missing some vital part of the bandster experience by not having a band that bosses me around, but I think this way is honestly probably less painful. I also hope that it is teaching me more than if I had a vocal band. This way, I know that what I'm doing is a choice and since I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life if I want to lose and maintain a loss, getting into the habit of choosing right is probably a good thing in the long term. Sure, there are times when I wish I was one of those people whose band made them forget about food completely. When I read about someone who never has cravings any more, or who forgets to eat, or who loses interest in food--even really yummy food--after a few bites, I wish that were me, but I'm doing okay with the me I've got, so I get over it.
 
The bottom line is that I am losing weight. Not huge quantities and not as fast as I would like, but since I would LIKE to be losing 10lbs per week, I'm focusing on being realistic instead. My 1-2 lb per week loss (really does usually fall around 1.5!) is exactly on track. All I need to do is to remember to stay the course and I will get where I want to be eventually. Better to get there slowly than to stay where I am.
 
So, like the duck, I just keep paddling.
 
 

...the kind in the old saying: swimming serenely on the surface and paddling like a lunatic underneath.
 
Actually, I've been doing fairly well ever since I got back on board with my band (3/8). The additional fills have made a difference and at 9.25cc, I've decided to consider myself I the green zone. I stay not hungry for about 4 hrs after a meal. I never experience stuck episodes or PBs, thank goodness, but I am a pretty conscientious chewer, which is good because my bite size varies depending on the texture of the food I'm eating. I make sure to get my minimum 50g of protein per day and I keep track of my calories, but other than that I don't stress abut counting anything else (fat or carbs). I still eat "bad" foods occasionally (like chips) but only in moderation, in premeasured servings, and I always count the calories and try to make sure that at the end of the week I average out around 1200 calories per day. I can eat bread, rice, pasta, asparagus, steak ... there is nothing I have ever tried to eat that I was unable to eat. I also don't ever feel like my band "stops" me from eating. My portions are usually 1 cup at a time, sometimes 1.5 cups, but I never feel stuffed after eating or that my band is telling me to stop. My mind tells me to stop because it remembers the rules given to me by my doctor.
 
In reality, I'm learning to be okay with that. Part of me wonders if I'm missing some vital part of the bandster experience by not having a band that bosses me around, but I think this way is honestly probably less painful. I also hope that it is teaching me more than if I had a vocal band. This way, I know that what I'm doing is a choice and since I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life if I want to lose and maintain a loss, getting into the habit of choosing right is probably a good thing in the long term. Sure, there are times when I wish I was one of those people whose band made them forget about food completely. When I read about someone who never has cravings any more, or who forgets to eat, or who loses interest in food--even really yummy food--after a few bites, I wish that were me, but I'm doing okay with the me I've got, so I get over it.
 
The bottom line is that I am losing weight. Not huge quantities and not as fast as I would like, but since I would LIKE to be losing 10lbs per week, I'm focusing on being realistic instead. My 1-2 lb per week loss (really does usually fall around 1.5!) is exactly on track. All I need to do is to remember to stay the course and I will get where I want to be eventually. Better to get there slowly than to stay where I am.
 
So, like the duck, I just keep paddling.
 
 

...the kind in the old saying: swimming serenely on the surface and paddling like a lunatic underneath.
 
Actually, I've been doing fairly well ever since I got back on board with my band (3/8). The additional fills have made a difference and at 9.25cc, I've decided to consider myself I the green zone. I stay not hungry for about 4 hrs after a meal. I never experience stuck episodes or PBs, thank goodness, but I am a pretty conscientious chewer, which is good because my bite size varies depending on the texture of the food I'm eating. I make sure to get my minimum 50g of protein per day and I keep track of my calories, but other than that I don't stress abut counting anything else (fat or carbs). I still eat "bad" foods occasionally (like chips) but only in moderation, in premeasured servings, and I always count the calories and try to make sure that at the end of the week I average out around 1200 calories per day. I can eat bread, rice, pasta, asparagus, steak ... there is nothing I have ever tried to eat that I was unable to eat. I also don't ever feel like my band "stops" me from eating. My portions are usually 1 cup at a time, sometimes 1.5 cups, but I never feel stuffed after eating or that my band is telling me to stop. My mind tells me to stop because it remembers the rules given to me by my doctor.
 
In reality, I'm learning to be okay with that. Part of me wonders if I'm missing some vital part of the bandster experience by not having a band that bosses me around, but I think this way is honestly probably less painful. I also hope that it is teaching me more than if I had a vocal band. This way, I know that what I'm doing is a choice and since I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life if I want to lose and maintain a loss, getting into the habit of choosing right is probably a good thing in the long term. Sure, there are times when I wish I was one of those people whose band made them forget about food completely. When I read about someone who never has cravings any more, or who forgets to eat, or who loses interest in food--even really yummy food--after a few bites, I wish that were me, but I'm doing okay with the me I've got, so I get over it.
 
The bottom line is that I am losing weight. Not huge quantities and not as fast as I would like, but since I would LIKE to be losing 10lbs per week, I'm focusing on being realistic instead. My 1-2 lb per week loss (really does usually fall around 1.5!) is exactly on track. All I need to do is to remember to stay the course and I will get where I want to be eventually. Better to get there slowly than to stay where I am.
 
So, like the duck, I just keep paddling.
 
 

...the kind in the old saying: swimming serenely on the surface and paddling like a lunatic underneath.
 
Actually, I've been doing fairly well ever since I got back on board with my band (3/8). The additional fills have made a difference and at 9.25cc, I've decided to consider myself I the green zone. I stay not hungry for about 4 hrs after a meal. I never experience stuck episodes or PBs, thank goodness, but I am a pretty conscientious chewer, which is good because my bite size varies depending on the texture of the food I'm eating. I make sure to get my minimum 50g of protein per day and I keep track of my calories, but other than that I don't stress abut counting anything else (fat or carbs). I still eat "bad" foods occasionally (like chips) but only in moderation, in premeasured servings, and I always count the calories and try to make sure that at the end of the week I average out around 1200 calories per day. I can eat bread, rice, pasta, asparagus, steak ... there is nothing I have ever tried to eat that I was unable to eat. I also don't ever feel like my band "stops" me from eating. My portions are usually 1 cup at a time, sometimes 1.5 cups, but I never feel stuffed after eating or that my band is telling me to stop. My mind tells me to stop because it remembers the rules given to me by my doctor.
 
In reality, I'm learning to be okay with that. Part of me wonders if I'm missing some vital part of the bandster experience by not having a band that bosses me around, but I think this way is honestly probably less painful. I also hope that it is teaching me more than if I had a vocal band. This way, I know that what I'm doing is a choice and since I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life if I want to lose and maintain a loss, getting into the habit of choosing right is probably a good thing in the long term. Sure, there are times when I wish I was one of those people whose band made them forget about food completely. When I read about someone who never has cravings any more, or who forgets to eat, or who loses interest in food--even really yummy food--after a few bites, I wish that were me, but I'm doing okay with the me I've got, so I get over it.
 
The bottom line is that I am losing weight. Not huge quantities and not as fast as I would like, but since I would LIKE to be losing 10lbs per week, I'm focusing on being realistic instead. My 1-2 lb per week loss (really does usually fall around 1.5!) is exactly on track. All I need to do is to remember to stay the course and I will get where I want to be eventually. Better to get there slowly than to stay where I am.
 
So, like the duck, I just keep paddling.
 
 

...the kind in the old saying: swimming serenely on the surface and paddling like a lunatic underneath.
 
Actually, I've been doing fairly well ever since I got back on board with my band (3/8). The additional fills have made a difference and at 9.25cc, I've decided to consider myself I the green zone. I stay not hungry for about 4 hrs after a meal. I never experience stuck episodes or PBs, thank goodness, but I am a pretty conscientious chewer, which is good because my bite size varies depending on the texture of the food I'm eating. I make sure to get my minimum 50g of protein per day and I keep track of my calories, but other than that I don't stress abut counting anything else (fat or carbs). I still eat "bad" foods occasionally (like chips) but only in moderation, in premeasured servings, and I always count the calories and try to make sure that at the end of the week I average out around 1200 calories per day. I can eat bread, rice, pasta, asparagus, steak ... there is nothing I have ever tried to eat that I was unable to eat. I also don't ever feel like my band "stops" me from eating. My portions are usually 1 cup at a time, sometimes 1.5 cups, but I never feel stuffed after eating or that my band is telling me to stop. My mind tells me to stop because it remembers the rules given to me by my doctor.
 
In reality, I'm learning to be okay with that. Part of me wonders if I'm missing some vital part of the bandster experience by not having a band that bosses me around, but I think this way is honestly probably less painful. I also hope that it is teaching me more than if I had a vocal band. This way, I know that what I'm doing is a choice and since I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life if I want to lose and maintain a loss, getting into the habit of choosing right is probably a good thing in the long term. Sure, there are times when I wish I was one of those people whose band made them forget about food completely. When I read about someone who never has cravings any more, or who forgets to eat, or who loses interest in food--even really yummy food--after a few bites, I wish that were me, but I'm doing okay with the me I've got, so I get over it.
 
The bottom line is that I am losing weight. Not huge quantities and not as fast as I would like, but since I would LIKE to be losing 10lbs per week, I'm focusing on being realistic instead. My 1-2 lb per week loss (really does usually fall around 1.5!) is exactly on track. All I need to do is to remember to stay the course and I will get where I want to be eventually. Better to get there slowly than to stay where I am.
 
So, like the duck, I just keep paddling.
 
 

...the kind in the old saying: swimming serenely on the surface and paddling like a lunatic underneath.
 
Actually, I've been doing fairly well ever since I got back on board with my band (3/8). The additional fills have made a difference and at 9.25cc, I've decided to consider myself I the green zone. I stay not hungry for about 4 hrs after a meal. I never experience stuck episodes or PBs, thank goodness, but I am a pretty conscientious chewer, which is good because my bite size varies depending on the texture of the food I'm eating. I make sure to get my minimum 50g of protein per day and I keep track of my calories, but other than that I don't stress abut counting anything else (fat or carbs). I still eat "bad" foods occasionally (like chips) but only in moderation, in premeasured servings, and I always count the calories and try to make sure that at the end of the week I average out around 1200 calories per day. I can eat bread, rice, pasta, asparagus, steak ... there is nothing I have ever tried to eat that I was unable to eat. I also don't ever feel like my band "stops" me from eating. My portions are usually 1 cup at a time, sometimes 1.5 cups, but I never feel stuffed after eating or that my band is telling me to stop. My mind tells me to stop because it remembers the rules given to me by my doctor.
 
In reality, I'm learning to be okay with that. Part of me wonders if I'm missing some vital part of the bandster experience by not having a band that bosses me around, but I think this way is honestly probably less painful. I also hope that it is teaching me more than if I had a vocal band. This way, I know that what I'm doing is a choice and since I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life if I want to lose and maintain a loss, getting into the habit of choosing right is probably a good thing in the long term. Sure, there are times when I wish I was one of those people whose band made them forget about food completely. When I read about someone who never has cravings any more, or who forgets to eat, or who loses interest in food--even really yummy food--after a few bites, I wish that were me, but I'm doing okay with the me I've got, so I get over it.
 
The bottom line is that I am losing weight. Not huge quantities and not as fast as I would like, but since I would LIKE to be losing 10lbs per week, I'm focusing on being realistic instead. My 1-2 lb per week loss (really does usually fall around 1.5!) is exactly on track. All I need to do is to remember to stay the course and I will get where I want to be eventually. Better to get there slowly than to stay where I am.
 
So, like the duck, I just keep paddling.
 
 

If you are easily offended stop reading now- here come some tough love!
 
I am a human, a woman, a wife, a mom to 4 wonderful fur babies, a daughter, sister, friend, emplyee, co-worker and many many more things. I have a big life, but that doesn't mean I need to be big. I am the first person to tell you I am NOT perfect, I have my vices, and life gets the best of me at times.
 
I use to think I was active - I was kidding myself. I came home from work and stayed there- not moving any more than I had to. I was lazy, I am still lazy, but I move now in spite of it.
 
If you are like me then I am sorry you gotta get your fat tusey up and move. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same result. Soooo, if you want to and expect to loose weight, guess what you have got to CHANGE!!!!
 
If you sit on your big butt and do nothing you will NOT loose weight!! If you continue to eat unhealthy things and large portions you WILL NOT loose weight!!!! Sorry, but it is the truth!!!
 
I am speaking to myself as much as I am others.
 
I push myself to get up and do things. For instance, yesterday I working in my yard for a bit - planted a few flowers after work. Then made a healthy dinner (tacos - mine with out the shell). After dinner I went to a friends house and treated their yard for fire ants (they are blind and can't see the little buggers). I came home played with the dogs, got a shower, got stuff ready for today, cleaned the kitchen. You know what after all that I felt good and then slept good.
 
You have to push yourself sometimes to move. If you don't want to exercise find something you do enjoy that gets you moving and DO IT!!! I love gardening. Even though I live in the city, I put in a 20 x 3 row garden in my yard and am planing some yummy veggies (cumcumbers, peppers, tomatos, squash). I plant flowers in my front yard and am working on relandscaping that. I love working with my hands so I am finding ways to do that but that make my body active while doing it. I love walking the dogs so I do that instead of WALKING to exercise. It's all in how you define it.
 
As far as eating goes, we all got fat by eating things we don't need and to much at a time. To start with I thought if I just cut portions I would be fine - WRONG. I have since learned a lot of things I ate were not as healthy as I once believed. I read labels now. Do I do with out things - some, but not many- Am I unhappy about that - NO. For instance I LOVE alfredo yum oh. Alfredo sauce at a resturant and store bought is really not good for you- full of fat and calories. Sooo, I experimented and created my own healthy alfredo sauce that the hubs and I actually like better. I've also experimented with other recipes and veggies to make them healthier. How do you do this - read a labels, experiment. I enjoy cooking so I get up and move around my kitchen and experiment. I have lots of friends and family who don't mind being gunie pigs. I cook and dance around my kitchen to some good 'ole country- guess what I am burning calories while doing this .
 
Yeah, I have only lost 55 lbs in 9.5 months- but hey I have lost half of my excess body weight. I am in a size 14- so that says something. Plus I am learning more everyday about what leading a healthy life style means and making small changes all a long.
 
While it is FRUSTRATING, SUCKY, CRAPPY, to loose slowing after having surgery, I am loosing. Plus, like others have said this is not a race- this is a life long journey.
 
I will get to a healthy weight it won't be tomorrow, but I just as well enjoy the journey and learn as much as I can so when I get there I can stay there!!
 
Sooooo, CHANGE already you are worth it. If you are a person who can't make a lot of changes at once, make little ones along the way- they will add up.

I have 2 wonderful sons. Roger is the oldest, 38 and Frank is 34. Roger was born chicken breasted. He needed to have surgery to fix his chest at 2 1/2. If it was not fixed he could have had a heart attack by age 10, his heart was not in the right place and he was hunch backed from the chest problems. My husband asked the surgeon about risks (he was head of pediatric surgery at Boston Children's Hospital). The doctor said you can walk across the street and get killed. Since that time when any doctor has recommended surgery my husband don't really think of it. By the time Roger was 5 he had 4 different surgeries. He is perfect! Frank was born slightly chicken breasted but did not need the surgery because his heart was in the right place.
So this leads to why I am writing. There are pros and cons to everything. Last week a young man around 24ish had his wisdom teeth pulled and died. You never know when it's your time to go.
I love this site and enjoy reading about other's wonderful results, accomplishments and seeing their pictures. I am too computer challenged to put any pictures on, sorry. Writing that the Band is awful because you had a problem is sad but don't knock all of us.
A Boston hospital many many years ago did a research drug, turned out to be Merida, I signed up. It worked great for me until I stopped. In the study, in Boston and England they said 2 women had strokes. You know what, I didn't think about quitting because out of the 2500 people they were over 60 and with that many people there is sure to be health issues.
​Let's all think positive thoughts, that we are going to beat Obesity and get healthy and fit. I know I am doing it.
By the way I have had about a dozen different surgeries. From a small mole I got MRS. You never know what is going to happen.
Have a wonderful evening and super Tuesday-spring has arrived!!!!!! at least in Boston.
Arlene

Making a Lifestyle change...
 
In January my husband and I decided to commit to the lapband journey as soon as possible. first we had to finish saving the money, at the beginning of March we knew the finances would come together I started drinking a protein shake for breakfast and lunch but I also started fixing healthier food for my family, march 21 I met with my Dr. and his staff and scheduled operation for April 5 at this point I had lost 8 lbs. I've always drank alot of water and cross my fingers that it wasn't just a bunch of water weight but I'm sure plenty was though
 
When we got home my DH husband and I threw away all junk food in the house, went to the store bought light mayo, lower calorie cheeses, yogurt, leaner meats, everything. we're making a lifestyle change, not just for he and I but for our kids as well. we have 3 daughters and a son 2 of my girls are teens and the third is right there. all of my kids have normal bmi's but 2 are at the higher end and I can see both of them copying my lifelong bad habits, not stopping when their no longer hungry, eating bc it tastes good or just bc their bored...NO it has to stop now.
 
We completely stopped eating out we started counting calories for each of their age groups and started teaching portion control. we're still eating all the meals we used to eat with just a few healthy adjustments, but still delicious. dinners now are no more than 500 cals. total, everything we put into our bodies are healthy. when snacks for the kids are allowed its healthy. and they have to drink water, water, water. don't get me wrong we've discussed that occasionally we will have some junk food, just not everyday and when we do we need to limit it. also we've discussed if we're craving something it's probably better to have a little than to eat a bunch of other stuff trying to curb the craving.
 
my husband has lost 12 lbs of the 20 he wants to lose and he stopped drinking soda. he says he feels better, he's sleeping better and guess what.. no more heartburn, my daughter's with the higher bmi's have lost between 3-7 lbs. we're going for walks and playing in the yard more. but it's more than that, Easter holiday my kids wanted their favorite holiday meal so I made a nice feast for them, still healthier but a feast none the less, usually they would have polished off most of the food, but not this time, they each had a small plate, they only ate half their chicken. everyone ate 1/3 of what they would have usually eaten eaten. They were full It's working!!!
then yesterday my daughter came home from school (and I talk about her weight bc about a month ago at school the class weighed each other, and my daughter's friends are petite and my daughter has been very small as well but lately, as stated above she was getting into some bad habits and she weighed about 10lbs more than her friends and some comments were made I don't think purposely to hurt her feelings but it did, I realized I needed to change my families habits) anyway she came home and said some people in my class today brought in some donuts, I thought about having one but I wasn't hungry and I had eaten dessert at lunch so I passed, I didn't care if she had the donut but she was proud of herself for recognizing she didn't need it, IT'S OKAY TO WALK AWAY. I also no longer make my kids finish whats on their plate. I know their bad habits are my fault
 
What I've realized is we needed a lifestyle change I'm proud of my whole family.
and I've got this, I'm sure there will be bumps but I have support and I'm excited about our future

Since I work about 12+ hours a day, I am always grateful for assistance with the housework. I was quite thrilled the other day to come home to find out that my mother completed two loads of wash for me. However, it quickly turned to dread when I discovered that my black dress pants that I wear to work were put into the dryer. Now, let me fill you in a little bit about my dress pants. We usually have a battle in the morning with zipping them up. I lay on the bed, wiggle around, and feel the pain throb on my finger as I try to get that zipper up. I would NEVER put them in the dryer as the heat from the dryer is not my friend! So I had to break down and wiggle my butt into Spanx and thought I had won the battle with my pants. Well...sort of... It was still a challenge. This is what I usually deal with and what I have been dealing with for quite some time.
 
I was banded on March 4, took 2 weeks off from work, and during the first week back at work, I avoided my black pants since I was still sore in my stomach area. So here it is...Friday, March 30, and I have run out of options for clothing. There in my closet, looking ever so quiet (and a bit afraid of the battle that may ensue) are my black pants. Ugh! I am going to hate this
beginning to a Friday morning I thought to myself. Well, here it goes. I decided not to go with the Spanx as sometimes it is not all that comfortable for sitting too long and I knew I had a meeting to attend that day. Obviously, I had been weighing myself since March 4 and thought, hmmmm... let's
see if 20 pounds has made a difference in my world. (I have 130 more to lose...not real sure if 20 really made difference yet.)
 
I put both legs in those pants, pulled them up, and got ready for the wrestling match on the bed. Much to my surprise, they zipped. I don't mean just zipped up....I mean they zipped without a 10 minute worm dance on my bed! I was thrilled! Beyond thrilled! These pants haven't seen a dryer for quite sometime so I just know it was thrilled too! No one at work has noticed the weight loss and I really don't expect anyone to notice until I buy new clothes and lose around 40 lbs. But my pants and I knew better that particular day. We were winning together!
 
As I shut off the light in my bedroom, I thought I heard a small voice say, "I'm next" from the pair of pants (Size 16) that I wore several years ago when I lost 70 lbs. Yes...my friend...you are next! Just stay in that drawer a little bit longer. I am working on getting you out and about as soon as I can...and I promise we won't have a battle!

It has been a while since I have written on my blog. Life is happening and I just haven't been able to sit down and put thoughts on the computer lately. So currently I am 2 1/2 months since surgery. Since my surgery date on January 11th 2013 I have lost 34 lbs. I had my second fill a week ago. So here is the tricky part. I do not feel I am doing enough or losing enough. However, I KNOW I am doing good. I have this inner conflict going on second guessing myself and longing for the day when I can look at my weight loss ticker and it does not say 121 lbs left to go!
 
Now I am going to the gym, eating less and better than I ever have in my life and doing all the things my doctor is telling me to do. We even bought a grill so we could make sure we grill almost every single night. My husband has also started to lose weight. This is great! Why then is the girl in my head still telling me I am fat and gross?
 
I drive my husband nuts. I ask him do you think i just ate too much? He looks at me like I grew a second head. For the first month he was convinced I was going to starve to death. When I saw my physician last week they were super excited I had lost 10lbs since my post op visit. All I could think was I could have lost more if I hadn't busted my ankle up. So I am wondering when this odd head game I am playing with myself will end and if anyone else has gone through this. When do you start seeing the healthier you? I know she is already here but I do not see her when I look in the mirror.
 
I am extremely blessed. Aside from some annoying hair loss, I have not had any bad side effects at all. Except from a bit of a pull around my port area if I overdue the exercising I have no discomfort or pain. I breezed through bandster hell. I think it only lasted about 4 days for me before it was time for my first fill. I do get slightly hungry but i can manage this by scheduling my small meals.
 
So the doctor and my nutritionist say to stop worrying about it. Slow and steady. There is a reason I picked this surgery and not one where I would drop 40lbs a month. I wanted it to be slower. I understood this and I need to stop obsessing about it. So when does what I know catch up to how I feel? I still extremely happy I have the band. I would not change it at all. I just wonder how do I change the way we are taught as heavy people to think about ourselves? I think I will make this my goal for the next month and the weight loss can be a side bonus.

When people fall in love they are head over heels with each other. They can't get enough of each other and decide we are in this for the long haul. As time goes on life changes and that in love feeling changes to a new love. People have to work at it because if it goes stale then the only thing that happens is either divorce or break up. People don't stay married for 50 or 60 years because it was always easy. Work, children, stress and everything in between come in to play and if you give up then you are giving in.
 
When you choose to have weight loss surgery you are entering in a new relationship. In the beginning you are all gung ho over the band, bypass, or sleeve because you are getting results. Then your weight loss starts to deminish, it goes slow and that feeling of giving up plagues many. That in love feeling with your band becomes stale and sometimes obsolete.
 
To keep your love alive with your band you must make an effort to have a healthy relationship with it, not give in because the going gets rough or you're not losing as fast as you want too. You have to change up your diet and not give in to eating the same old boring foods day in and day out. If you don't work with it or for it, it won't work for you. We had a good relationship with food before the surgery so you now have to have a good relationship with food now that you have the band.
 
The only way that you are going to let this make you or break you, is your determination that your relationship with the band is going to be ever lasting. We don't give up on our children because they don't behave well, we don't give up on our jobs because they stress us, we don't give up on our loved ones because they are ill and we can't give up on our bands just because at the moment the scale won't move or we are having a hard time in life, stressed, dealing with things that we don't want too that would make us eat before.
 
Our relationship now is different. It will in time give you life, health and happiness if you are willing to stay married to it for the long haul. If you want the band to work, then develop a loving healthy relationship with it. Don't let it get stale. Keep your momentum alive and think about why you did this.
 
It is only up to you and you alone to make this relationship work. If you don't then you will be right back where you started. It's not always easy to have a new relationship but it's not impossible to have a healthy relationship with food.
 
Love yourself enough to make this work because the benefits are priceless. If you ever doubt that you can't or won't succeed then its up to you to know that you are worth more then that.

Now, this is an obvious generalization, so please bear with me.
 
There are two types of people on this forum, Moms and Dads...And it has nothing to do with gender.
 
Moms are the empaths, sympathizing with the hurts and bruises of the people here, taking into account their feelings when they give their advice. Patting them on the back as they are bent over the toilet puking their guts out because they tried to test their band.
 
Dads are the authoritarians, telling people who ate a cheeseburger and fries on the way home from post-op "WTF did you do that for, are you stupid?" and "I was able to work my band, what the hell is wrong with you"?
 
The friction I see on the site comes many times from the Moms and Dads fighting over the best way to help the kids, when in reality, both types of advice and help are necessary for the people who come here. We need to stop beating each other up, and start realizing that we NEED both types of people. So, in the words of that great wise man Rodney King, "Why can't we all just get along"?
 
BTW, as I said at the start this is a generalization and the reality is not quite so clear, I personally relate more to the "Dads" on the board, but my heart also weeps for those who are struggling getting the band to work for them, especially when it has been so easy for me.

I really need to learn to do these often. I am the Queen of Unrealistic Expectations. I'm a smart girl, so I know and understand that 1-2 lbs per weeks is the average and is considered by my doctor and the entire bariatric surgery community to be good weight loss, but that somehow does not stop me from being disappointed when I don't lose more. So what do I do? I need to give myself a reality check.
 
While I was moping about "only" losing 1.6 lbs this week after entering my progress into MFP, my eye caught on the list at the bottom of the screen of previous losses. That told the tale of how I lost weight during the first few months after surgery, before I got frustrated at not finding the green zone and gave up on my band. Before I regained about half of what I lost. And what did I see there? I had lost 25 lbs in less than 3 months. That was FANTASTIC! Maybe if I had focused on that accomplishment instead of becoming impatient and whiney over what I wanted to lose, I wouldn't have cheated myself out of all those months of real progress.
 
Lesson learned. From now on, when I start to get impatient and frustrated and to compare myself to others who seem to be losing soooooo much faster, I'm going to remember to give myself a reality check. I'm not running a race, I'm changing my life. It WILL happen, as long as I keep working. So that is exactly what I will do.

One of the best parts of getting back on track and living like a compliant bandster is the amazing food I get to eat. Nope, not kidding. I happen to be a pretty darned good cook. The problem is that when I'm not living right with my band, I get lazy. Cooking for one person half the time just doesn't seem "worth it," as if I'm not worth taking care of as much as the other people I cook for. That leads to take out, dining out, fast food, convenience foods, and processed foods. And that leads to weight gain. But when I'm concentrating on improving my life by working with the band, I eat not only healthier foods, but often tastier ones as well.
 
Just in the past week, I made band friendly versions of beef Bourguignon, macaroni and cheese, braised chicken thighs with mushroom sauce, and for dinner tonight, Asian lettuce wraps with chicken and vegetables. It's all fresh, high protein, low fat, unprocessed, organic, and so much better than anything I could get at a supermarket or a cheap restaurant that it makes me shake my head that I ever made those choices. Even with the band, I love to cook, I love to eat, and I love flavorful foods. Now, I'm just finding ways to eat them the right way in the right amounts with the right ingredients.
 
And it just rocks!

One of the best parts of getting back on track and living like a compliant bandster is the amazing food I get to eat. Nope, not kidding. I happen to be a pretty darned good cook. The problem is that when I'm not living right with my band, I get lazy. Cooking for one person half the time just doesn't seem "worth it," as if I'm not worth taking care of as much as the other people I cook for. That leads to take out, dining out, fast food, convenience foods, and processed foods. And that leads to weight gain. But when I'm concentrating on improving my life by working with the band, I eat not only healthier foods, but often tastier ones as well.
 
Just in the past week, I made band friendly versions of beef Bourguignon, macaroni and cheese, braised chicken thighs with mushroom sauce, and for dinner tonight, Asian lettuce wraps with chicken and vegetables. It's all fresh, high protein, low fat, unprocessed, organic, and so much better than anything I could get at a supermarket or a cheap restaurant that it makes me shake my head that I ever made those choices. Even with the band, I love to cook, I love to eat, and I love flavorful foods. Now, I'm just finding ways to eat them the right way in the right amounts with the right ingredients.
 
And it just rocks!

One of the best parts of getting back on track and living like a compliant bandster is the amazing food I get to eat. Nope, not kidding. I happen to be a pretty darned good cook. The problem is that when I'm not living right with my band, I get lazy. Cooking for one person half the time just doesn't seem "worth it," as if I'm not worth taking care of as much as the other people I cook for. That leads to take out, dining out, fast food, convenience foods, and processed foods. And that leads to weight gain. But when I'm concentrating on improving my life by working with the band, I eat not only healthier foods, but often tastier ones as well.
 
Just in the past week, I made band friendly versions of beef Bourguignon, macaroni and cheese, braised chicken thighs with mushroom sauce, and for dinner tonight, Asian lettuce wraps with chicken and vegetables. It's all fresh, high protein, low fat, unprocessed, organic, and so much better than anything I could get at a supermarket or a cheap restaurant that it makes me shake my head that I ever made those choices. Even with the band, I love to cook, I love to eat, and I love flavorful foods. Now, I'm just finding ways to eat them the right way in the right amounts with the right ingredients.
 
And it just rocks!

As kids our parents try to teach us need vs want, especially when it comes to things we want them to buy us. But, I think that this applies to every aspect of our life.
 
When it comes to food, preband I was always about what I wanted to eat, not what I needed. Think about it- how often do you say "hey, what do you need to eat" when are are getting ready to cook dinner- you don't, instead you ask "what do you want to eat".
 
I have come to the point where I must ask myself what do I need, not what do I want. Yesterday I wanted a donut, but it wasn't what I needed. I am 32 years old, it's time I grow up and become more about what I need instead of what I want.
 
So what do I need when it comes to intake:
 
Water (my body needs hydration to stay healthy and in balance)
Protein (this is food for my muscles, my heart is a muscle and it needs this)
Veggies and Fruit (balance baby- our digestive system will be the better for these)
Good Carbs (again, balance carbs are energy food, but we need the good ones, not bad)
Good Fats (yes, we do need fat, but the good ones not the artery clogging ones)
 
Like we were taught in school we need a balance. A balanced intake is a healthy one. I am finding that the longer I am on the journey my needs and wants are coming together. I crave the healthy protein, I want the fruit, I would fight you for my water. I have become a spinich aholic- it gets added to much of what I eat- so healthy yet sooo good. The other day I ate some fast food chicken strips- one- it KILLLED my tummy. My body is adjusting to the healthy life and doesn't like the bad stuff anymore- how great is that.
 
I am just 9 months into this journey, I am only 54 lbs down and wish I was more; but boy do I look forward to continuing this journey. It's not the diets of the past, this one is evolving and making me better as I go. It's not one I want to jump off of and go back to old ways.
 
So, I am now looking at what my body needs and I will endulge my wants in my sexy new clothes my healthy body needs!!

I post this here so I can refer back to it often.
 
1) Where you are in life isn’t a measure of your full potential. It’s a measure of how you’ve played life’s cards SO FAR.
 
2) It’s never too late to play your hand a different way.
 
3) If you challenge YOURSELF every day, you’ll have more experience when LIFE challenges YOU.
 
4) Just like muscles need to be broken down to get stronger, sometimes we need to be broken down mentally and
emotionally to get stronger in their respective senses as well.
 
5) Sometimes the people that you thought were good in your life were actually the people stepping on your head.
 
6) Surrounding yourself with positive and uplifting people, thoughts, pictures, quotes, experiences, etc. is the way to
FEEL like you are living a positive and uplifting life. The same is true for the opposite.
 
7) HUGE personal successes start with a LOT of smaller efforts that build a solid foundation for that success.
 
8) When you don’t believe in yourself, other people don’t believe in you either. When you DO believe in yourself, people
get blown away by everything you accomplish.
 
9) Some of the same people that see you turn your life around for the better will try to bring you back down to their level
in order to feel good at the level they are STILL at.
 
10) When those people start to succeed in bringing you down, FIGHT HARDER! KEEP your goals, and know that you
STILL have MORE potential to unleash!
 
11) NEVER GIVE UP! When you give up, you are saying, “I’m not worth it.”
 
12) KNOW that you ARE worth it!
 
13) Life isn’t easy or fair. The people that fare the best are the ones that adapt in difficult situations. Teach yourself to
adapt! Get creative!
 
14) The same routine yields the same results. If you’re unhappy, CHANGE something.
15) Patience!
16) “When you were in high school, college, etc…” < Stop living in the past! Live in the present!
 
17) Stop making excuses! Admit you’re flawed like the rest of the world, and figure out a way to be the BEST version of
yourself.
 
18) The best version of YOURSELF? What is that? Figure it out. Experiment. Stop looking to others for easy answers to
YOUR complicated personal battles.
 
19) Be proud of yourself!
 
20) Taking pride, and being a self-absorbed tool bag are NOT the same. So relax, and talk about your accomplishments
a little. It’s OK! You might even inspire someone else!
 
21) Stop worrying about failure, and “what ifs.” Focus on what you WILL do instead. When you decide to do something,
you find a way to do it. When you worry about failing, you find a way to do IT too.
 
22) Taking care of YOU should be a PRIORITY. It doesn’t make you selfish. It means you have self-respect. Besides,
everyone knows you can’t be fully present for others when you’re not for yourself. Win-win.
 
23) Take out the trash. You’re not a dumpster, so get rid of the garbage in your life. (Whatever that garbage is- people,
food, habits…etc.)
 
24) Allow yourself to be human and have “bad days.” You’re not a superhero. Get over it.
 
25) When you DO have bad days, find a way to re-inspire yourself. Even if it’s just by making a list of things you’ve
learned in life and sharing it in on the internet
 
26)Patience!
 
27)Remove the Drama from your life!

Today was my monthly appointment at True Results. They always have the patients fill out a questionnaire prior to seeing the NP. It asks what your typical meals are, the size (1/2 cup, 1 cup, 1 ½ cups, etc), what exercise you are doing, and so forth. I answered the questions honestly. I am eating 1 to 1 ½ cups per meal and getting hungry between meals.
 
I am happy to say that I am maintaining my weight of 169 pounds. So I don’t know if it is the head or not.
 
When I met with the NP we discussed this and she told me a story about how the head messes with us.
She had a transfer patient come in (they always pull all the fluid out of the band to verify the amount on transfer patients). She pulls out the fluid and puts it right back in (doesn’t add or remove any of the fluid). Two days later the patient calls her saying “I don’t know what you did but I have not restriction.” She has the patient come back in (concerned of a leak), pulls out all the fluid out again (the amount was exactly as it was 2 days earlier) and puts it back (again not adding or removing any fluid). Two days later the patient calls her saying “I am so tight I can’t eat anything” Nothing changed as far as the amount of fluid in her band; it was all in the head. lol
 
I did get a small fill and instructions to get my timer back out and time my bits, put a dime next to my plate for a visual on the size of my bits, and most important, come to the support group on Thursday to help get a hold of this head game I got going on.
 
Maintains is not a walk in the park!

Let me just say that I don't like Head Hunger. There is such a difference in real hunger vs. head hunger. Sadly, it has taken me more than a year after being banded and a lifetime to learn the difference.
 
Since I was very young, I've fought the fat fight. I became a dieting expert....I was the professional at it. I'd loose 10 lb. then gain 20 lb., loose 20 lb. then gain 30 lb., loose 30 lb. then gain 50 lb. Well, you get the idea. I did this until I became a whopping 80-85 lb. overweight expert. It has taken me my lifetime to realize that my stomach isn't hungry....it's my head....it's my psyche.
 
Now that I've learned that, I'm learning how to be an overcomer and a success. During the discovery of this revelation, I've lost 45 lb. I still have 40+ to loose. But, that's not even the best of it....it's getting my psyche under control. I'm on my way at 45 lbs. lighter. Not bragging, just grateful.