june13sleever

I had my surgery on June 13th, 2011 and I have lost 79 Pounds!

I also think of the scene in bridesmaids where the girl was telling her best friend that she was getting married. Upon hearing the new the news her best friend looked like she was going to cry. It is good to rejoice with others in their happiness, but I can understand watching everyone get married and me still being single. Single is better than fat, so while the underlying theme of someone's negative behavior towards you is jealousy that person who is jealous is probably hurting so much inside. We are getting thin and for me it still hurts to see people who I really want to get thin too stay big because they don't have the means to do what I did. I paid for it out of pocket - well a loan I was so fortunate. It doesn't make it right that people act like biatches, but I could still be fat and unhappy, so kill them with kindness!

I don't have very many moments where I realize that I am getting thin because I was a pretty agile person, even at 296. But bending over to tie a shoe, putting on a sandal that required a buckle or snap and pantyhose/tights in general...my big tummy always got in the way. Today I sat on the edge of the bed and without even leaning over lifted my leg up and put the panty hose right on. No struggle! That is pretty cool!

Just got my coat - Espirit XL which I think they tend to run small, but I got it a couple of weeks ago and now there is way more wiggle room. But the end of the winter it will be too big!

I had my surgery on June 13th and on November 13th I lost 76 Pounds!

Wear something flawless with some amazing pumps. And walk through the room like you own it. I can not wait for this! I get some comments now, AND I LOVE THEM! I am so freakin happy no one could say anything to take my happiness away - not even my boyfriend. I have lose skin right now that is looking pretty interesting to say the least, but I don't even care. My butt is almost gone, and I haven't shed one tear. I used to cry about being fat EVERYDAY! So if the **** ain't bringing me to tears, then I must not really care that much!

This happened to me in month 4. It is a little weird, but once the week passed and I weighed myself again I was back down and lower than before. It happened again in month 5 so I didn't stress. I might have had more fluids, but it certainly wasn't the fact that I ate more than before. I am still eating barely anything. Now I am working towards month 6, and I have decided to weigh myself every other week. I would like to go the whole month without weighing myself...but we will see about that :not_ripe:

add more carbs

I do honestly believe that whole foods are the way to go. So a potato is whole. I don't fancy brown rice and I do know white rice has been processed, but I still look at rice as a near whole grain. I don't eat bread that often because even if it is whole grain bread the amount of energy and additional resources to break it down from a grain into a bread - too many steps. Bread and butter is a treat for me. I do eat some sugar here and there, but not very often. I remember my first month. I thought I was going to go nuts because I was not eating ANY CARBS! I was barely eating at all. Carbs do help my mood, but just choose the right carbs. However, if I want to eat 1/4 of a pint of Ben & Jerry's I do it. The good thing about the change in eating is now I don't even want it as much as I used to. I don't know if it is physical or psychological. I go into 7 eleven and I walk by the chips, the ice cream and donuts, and I just don't have the urge to get 1/2 dozen glazed donuts anymore. I think part of it is hope. I have hope that I am not going to be a big fat pig anymore. I am still eating around 500 to 1000 calories a day depending on my restriction and hunger. I don't really count and this will be the first month where I am going to weigh myself every other week if that. I wouldn't stress out too much, and I also would just stick to the basics, but every so often if you want to eat only potato then oh well. Just make sure you are sticking to the basics more often then not.

I eat what I want when I want. I love rice and potatoes, but don't really find myself eating bread. maybe 3 or 4 times in 5 months. I do eat a lean cuisine meal. I have lost 76 pounds in 5 months, and i have not started excersizing yet...which i will start at 6 months. My intake of fluids has gotten much better and my dizzy spells happen less frequently. I don't count calories. i can't stress about anything because life is already stressful enough. I just do what I do. I know the last 55 to 60 pounds will come off when I start working out. I am 215 now. i feel better about my body and do not find myself crying anymore. Today I ate chicken chill - yum! 2 cups, 400 calories, 40 grams of protien and the rest who cares. I eat when I am hungry. I try to eat protein, but sometimes I want some mashed potatoes. We ate so much food before. I mean so much! I went to Olive Garden ordered the chicken alfredo. When the bread sticks and salad came I had 1/2 a bread stick and two small servings of salad. when the food came i had 2 bites of chicken and one bite of pasta. i was done at that point. i didn't even eat the left overs. I used to eat 3 breadsticks, two bowls of salad, a fruity drink, chicken alfredo and dessert. and then have another meal later. the sleeve saved me from myself. i was an overeater. so i don't think my couple bites of carbs or bread and butter are going to make me fat again.

Now that I can eat more and only five months out I fear that I won't lose anymore, and I will find ways to gain it all back. I think that since the restriction is not so severe I will try to find some support groups. I can see how easy it is to slip back, but also think wow...I have a tiny little tummy so I need to use it. I need to stock up on cucumbers/celery sticks so when I get that urge they are right there waiting for me. I need to make sure I have a plan since the last 55 pounds until goal is going to be mostly my effort and less of the sleeve. I literally was hungry all day yesterday. I ate a meal and then an hour later I was hungry. Maybe my metabolism is better because I eat smaller meals throughout the day, but I didn't have the proper snacks at hand so I ate a hamburger bun, peanut butter, grapefruit and pickles...I swear I ATE EVERYTHING yesterday. I didn't even have to eat slow! It went down and then one hour later - hungry again. I will be going shopping today! Dense protiens, low calorie veggies to fill me up. I AM SO SCARED! But at least 55 pounds isn't 130 pounds. I got a great head start by doing virtually nothing, and I wish I had really put more effort into working out. I will make it happen. I am so close, but the reality is that the sleeve can't do all the work!

Ok so it will be month 5 on the 13th. I spoke once before about not having much restrictions (as compared to the early stages). Of course there is still restriction, but I was able to polish off two pieces of bread and butter as a result of being on business travel. I will certainly go back to my regular eating once I get home, but I was surprised that I could eat so much. The other night I had no choice but to get room service and I orderd a shrimp marinara Pasta. I should have told them to hold the pasta, but I was able to eat most of it over a period of 3 hours. I kept eating. Once the restriction let up, I took another bite. No self control. It wasn't a little bowl of pasta either. BIG FETTUCINNI! I want to cry as I feel like on this trip I will actually gain. I will give myself the weekend to get back into gear before my Monday weigh in. I called the airline just to get my out of here early so I am leaving tonight to go home because I didn't want to sit in front of a big bowl of pasta again tonight. Besides just the eat your protien first there should be a guide to give you hints like... TELL THEM NO TO GIVE YOU ANY BREAD or PASTA - Just the Protein. I am really scared. If my tummy continues to grow...eventually so will I.

So I couldn't really find what the NUTS say. At one month you can eat this. At six months you can eat that How do you know how much you can officially eat. How do you test it. I just eat until I am satisfied, but I don't measure. Sometimes it is more and sometimes it is less. I have been scared of losing too much, and I know my body well enough to know that this is a strong possibility for me. What foods are calorie dense and still good for you? I still have not even started to work out which has to start sometime VERY SOON so I will be looking to add more calories, but I still really only like to eat the foods the mush up in my mouth.

I may just be freaking out, but I am already throwing in calories and having a little ice cream here and there. I just can not eat a lot. I do not count carbs. I have not even started to excersize! I couldn't drink 8 glasses of water a day at all if I wanted to eat too. I was scared a few weeks ago about being able to finally eat, but this last week restriction is back in full effect. This crazy little sleeve!! I will just roll with it. Let's see where I am in 4 months!

Ok so my doctor prescribed me a panel...He can't do it? I don't want to go to see him anymore. How can I get the blood work done myself? Susan

I had this and I thought I was going to literally die if it went on forever. The hairy throat or the lump that stuck there. I started a PPI and it helped, but I do think it just went away on its own. It will go away.

Some guy offered to help me with my groceries yesterday, and while I want to believe that he would have done that 70 pounds ago I know that more than likely he wouldn't have helped me. I think this is why I got even more depressed when I gained all the weight back. Growing up fat, sure you get teased, but you live with it. It is normal. When I lost the weight I felt what it was like to get all the attention, the jobs, the $, the everything. Everything is different. When I gained it back it was truly a horrific experience for me, and I was so depressed. I literally had given up. Care Credit approved me for the financing otherwise this surgery would not have happened. I begged my family to help me, but they wouldn't. Since I am healthy, alive and losing weight they are all now chipping in to help me pay off the loan, but without that loan I would be crying and probably 310 pounds. I just feel like we should all never forget where we were and if you ever see anyone out and about who looks like they need help or just a friendly hello...say hello!

Look at my signature

I tell everyone. But I can see some people just struggling, and I wish they had the $ to do the surgery. I know how many times I was there with them saying...I have got to stop eating. I couldn't stop. I needed this to stop. So for those I hope they get it together themselves. It is possible I did it once and got a back injury which resulted in my gaining the weight back. If I didn't have the back injury I am certain I would still be thin or thinner. But once you are so far gone you just kind of give up and with an injury I am certain it would be hard to maintain such a low calorie diet. This is like a jump start, but EVERYONE needs a jump start in whatever form it may come.

It is coming out everyday! I have had it in a bun for a couple of weeks because I don't really want to know, but I have to color it. It is super gray! I bought some color from the store because I can't afford to go to the Salon right now. I might have to cut it short, but for now it is ok. I am certain I will lose more.

I asked my Doctor again about anyone losing too much weight. He said it has never happened, but I am still paranoid! I will be 5 months out November 13th, and I am down 68 pounds so far. My doctor's goal is 180. My goal is 160. I am 5'10". I like where I am now at 223! I guess I am going to go to the weight my body wants to go to, but I am still freaking out. I always freak out on those days where I have a lot of restriction. Yesterday was pretty tight! I am only 43 pounds away from my Doctor's goal. That isn't very far away. I could be there by February. I guess I just don't want to be super skinny or sickly skinny. My butt is almost gone, and i had a huge butt!

I have the chicken and the non-flavored. I was just going to send all the stuff.

I have some powders and other things that I will never use. I can mail them to you if you want them, just pay the cost of shipping. Send me your email. I don't have a list, but I bought some powders. unjury chicken Soup and something else.

So finally I can eat more...Which makes me feel a little bit better in terms of being healthy and getting in my protein, but also a little sad because I could easily fall off the wagon. I guess now more than ever I will have to start to take control. Before I couldn't eat a thing so my sleeve was in charge, but now I feel I am in charge and my sleeve is just a tool. I wasn't that great at being in charge before OBVIOUSLY! I knew this day was going to come, but I was able to throw back my chicken chilli like a normal person today! I guess now I can use the times when I am not eating to finally get my WATER/FLUIDS in...Which was a weak point for me. I just hate that hunger feeling because it isn't the same as before...it is weird. So now I ate all my soup and here comes the hunger! I was able to stay around 600 calories easy give or take, but now it looks like I could get up to 800 or 1000, and I don't want to eat that much for right now. Anybody else notice the change from when there was massive restriction to things getting a little easier to eat?

She is getting paid. Probably a lot! You couldn't get me to take a picture naked and I was only 290. She may be sick, but I think she likes the attention. She went on the show to be harassed by the audience. She did it for the $. She can certainly move very well for a big girl. Her numbers may be through the roof, but that doesn't mean she will have a heart attack .