kittyforet

Praying for you. You are a REAL woman. REAL women feel, hurt, laugh, cry, gain/lose weight.
Hoping you can be strong and do what your heart says to do. You deserve more than emotional abuse. Hugs.

Hi there,
Congratulations on your weight loss and your self confidence! That is so wonderful to hear!!
For me personally, my weightloss thus far has brought my partner of almost 9 years and I closer together. He and I can do so many more things together, and we're really enjoying a better sex life, and just having more energy to have fun!
We're getting excited about riding bikes, and he exercises with me in the mornings. it's been fantastic! He's 6'2" and about 30 pounds overweight, so he's looking forward to getting healthy too.
I know that Greg would love me no matter what size I am, and he has always thought I was beautiful; but my health is the most important thing to him.
If I were you, I would look very carefully at the situation, and determine whether you can start over with your husband and re-ignite the spark that brought you two close in the first place. What can you do now with him that you couldn't do before? What's new? What can you explore together? Are your lifestyles so different now that all hope is lost?
It seems like something must have kept you together for 18 years and 4 children... examine what that is.
Weigh the pros and cons of divorce / staying together.
If you stay together, maybe there's a hobby or two you can take up that help you feel free and able to explore your new self confidence that doesn't involve cheating or getting divorced, or doing anything destructive to your relationship; maybe something a little daring like rock climbing or kayaking that help you find a sense of adventure!
Best of luck to you, whatever your decision turns out to be!
Edit; I also wanted to add this: Getting attention from new men is really just a momentary temporary thing; but having a husband that loves you and has made vows to love you his whole life and who has stayed with you for 18 years is priceless, and something that many people dream for years and would be quite grateful to have. I hope you consider that when you make your decision.
I personally know that I'm grateful every day to wake up to a familiar loving face of someone who I've been through my worst with and yet who can smile and say he loves me just the way I am!

Redhead Girl,
You probably don't have any Fluid in your band yet and won't have any restriction or get that "full" feeling....
I was banded June 20 and my doc leaves the band empty until my first post-op visit, which is July 18. Between now and then, I am in Bandster Hell.....where it will seem like I can eat anything and everything without problems and won't feel full....sounds like you are in the same place I am right now.
My doc's instructions were to make sure to weigh everything and only take a meal that is a total of 4 oz. right now....begin to take tiny bits and chew chew chew!!! I got up yesterday and drank 2 cups of Water and then about an hour later had scrambled eggs for Breakfast and ate it on a small plate and made myself wait 1 minute between bites and chew like crazy, and by the end of the eggs, I wasn't hungry for more!! Then after an hour, I drank another 1-2 cups Water. Now, I WANTED to eat Snacks and crap in between, but didn't!! My mind was playing tricks on me....I wasn't hungry but my brain told me I needed to eat.
I had to force myself to drink water each time I THOUGHT I was hungry. Are you drinking enough fluids? Try to drink as much water as possible to help fight off hunger. I also drink Decaf iced tea sweetened with sugar substitute, or crystal light if I'm craving something sweet....
Once you have proper restriction, you will be able to eat a lot less, but until then, you will seem like the bottomless pit!! I know I feel that way!! Do you still have your post-op diet paperwork? I still have mine both from the doctor and nutritionist and am trying to follow that as closely as possible to help my stomach heal. If you'd like to see what's on my plan I'd be happy to email you a copy to help you get on track. (message me here or send me an email, kittyforet@yahoo.com) That being said, I am NOT perfect!! I've made mistakes and probably do stuff wrong, but I am a work in progress and learning all of this takes baby steps!!
I too get caught up in that "but why can everyone else stop eating at a few bites?" mentality but I have to remember that they have SOME fill already while I have none....and I don't want to harm my recovery at the expense of following everyone else, even though it IS tempting!! Plus I paid cash for this little sucker in my stomach and I don't really want to see that go to waste!!! I too have slipped and eat more than I should AND things I know are no-no's, just to try it, just to be defiant and prove I'm in charge, but it didn't help me one bit!!
Once you get your Protein, if you buy the powder, you can always start adding that to your food/drinks and get it in that way....I bought unflavored and start adding about 1/4-1/2 scoop into my food (oatmeal, applesauce, soup) or into my drinks (wal-mart brand of strawberry banana light fruit and vegetable drink tastes pretty good, and you can't taste the Protein Powder in it!). If you like Carnation Instant Breakfast, you can drink that and add powdered skim milk to it to boost the Protein content without buying protein powder; you can also add Protein Powder to CIB if you wanted. What I do to make sure I get enough is to set aside 1 scoop per day and make sure I either make it into a Protein Drink or add a little protein to everything that enters my mouth so that by the end of the day, the scoop is all gone. That ensures that I get at least 20 grams with that one scoop. Sometimes trying to get all your protein in is kinda hard, but start small and it will get easier!
So, starting today, join me in trying to eat the right things, in the right amounts, knowing one day we WILL be eating smaller portions!!! WE CAN DO IT!!!
kristi

You can friend me but I'm in the same stage you are....not sure if I will be of any help, but we can fight the liquid beast together!!! Maybe even get ideas from what we each eat, etc.???
kittyforet
(kristi in the real world )

Almost a week later, here is my surgery day story!!! Sorry for the long post!
Each day gets better as far as pain and what I can do. I've been walking daily, got a pedometer and trying to make sure I increase each day. I don't walk to increase my heart rate or do real exercise, just to get moving. . Not ready for real exercise!!
Surgery day, June 20, 2011....
Had to be there at 7:00, was first in line. By 8:00 I was in the gown, had the iv, and met the anesthesiologist. At 8:10 Dr. Reilly came in and then it was about time to go. At 8:30 they were wheeling me into the OR and that's all I remember!! I was wheeled into the OR, looked up for a second, and didn't get the chance to say or do anything else!! They blindsided me!!!
Woke up at 10:30 in recovery to the leg things squeezing my legs. Throat was sore due to being intubated but pain wasn't too bad. After a little bit they helped me dress and go to the restroom. Was nauseous but the nurse held a peppermint-smelling stick under my nose and that took care of it. I had to sit in a recliner in recovery for a bit, took some liquid pain medicine (NASTY!!) and then went home. We were home before 12:30. Then I rested on the recliner and walked every hour, first along the downstairs of my house, working my way up to puttering outside. Walking really helped.
sleeping was pretty much non-existent, but I wonder if that was due to post op nerves. I was like that after my last c-section, didn't sleep for about 24 hours after, too wired, too much adrenaline. Now I sleep a little at a time and rest when I can. Only had the main gas pain that first day, and after that just abdomen pain...it took a few nights of sleeping on the recliner couch or the rocker with the ottoman before I could actually sleep in my own bed, but getting up and down was the worst...once I was walking for a few minutes I could handle it.
Since I could not stand the liquid pain meds (did I mention it was NASTY, even with cherry flavoring added???) I took childrens' dissolvable tylenol and then liquid childrens tylenol once and those were blah too, so after trying both of those, I stopped taking pain medicine and was ok without it....each day gets better and the pain goes away....now just mild itchiness at my steri-strips.
Thursday I was able to drive so I treated myself to a pedicure. Friday was somewhat normal and yesterday my 8-year-old had 2 flag football games that I went to...my dad nicknamed me Ginger, since he said I was walking gingerly...I tend to walk these last few days with my shoulders hunched up so I am trying NOT to keep doing that.
Started full liquids today after almost a week of Clear Liquids, and it is so much better to have a little more variety!! I am so sick of drinking fruity-type drinks!! But I bet it will be just a few more days and I will be sick of drinking my Protein shakes again!! Bring on the mushies!! LOL
The hardest part is making sure I drink enough liquids right now. My NUT said to drink 1oz. Fluid every 15 minutes, and that makes my Soup get cold!! So i eat a few spoonfuls, then wait a few minutes and eat a few more...Am I supposed to be taking my time already when I eat and following the no drinking during a meal now, even though I'm not on solids??
I go back for post-op on July 18 and fill status will be decided then.
My stats so far...
Consultation weight, 223.4
Pre-op meeting weight 217
Surgery day weight, 209 (was worried I hadnt lost any!!)
Today's weight, 202.8!!!!!!
Wearing the pedometer to log my walking and keeping a food diary is helping...at first I wasn't going to do the diary, seemed like a huge pain, but my NUT needs that once I see her on the 18th, so I've been faithful at that. I understand that once I start "real food" again that it will help me get not only the correct nutrients, but also allow me to monitor my intake to control weight.
thanks for reading!!!

Papillon Princess,

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences!! That is very valuable to me to hear how others are doing!!
As for the liquids, last night hubby and I took the kiddos to get snowcones, and I had a small sugar free pink lemonade that I could only eat half of, so I told DH that next week when I'm on liquids that I would send him to get me one but also to buy a second cup of just ice, since they put WAY too much Syrup in it!! (I'd probably also ask for half the syrup, since too much grosses me out!)

I've already bought a box of SF popsicles (the variety pack with creamsicles and fudgesicles) that I hid from my kids, but will go back and get a few more boxes of the plain SF ones just in case!!! I'm also thinking of buying a little snowcone machine to make our own, I have a friend that makes her own syrup, so I bet she could hook me up with some good recipes.....

Also already have lots of Sobe Life Water 0 calorie and the Vitamin Water 0 and a huge variety of the crystal light packets...I am a huge iced tea drinker (decaf sweetened with sweet & low, but I have heard I need to change that to either stevia or truvia, according to people here on LBT; I will ask my nutritionist when I see her on Thursday!)...

Do the chewable Fiber supplements taste good? Worried about that!! Now I just need to go buy liquid tylenol!! Yuck!!!

Thanks again for the motivation!!!

I am not yet banded (June 20 can't come quick enough!!) but I heard conflicting info from my doctor's office regarding the pre-op......the patient advocate told me if I didn't lose 10+ pounds before surgery, they wouldn't operate, but then at the pre-op appointment with the surgeon, I questioned him as to how much he wanted me to lose and his response was "no set amount, but the more I lose before surgery, the better my chances to lose more afterwards." He did NOT say he would cancel the operation if I didn't lose, which contradicted what the patient rep. said..... SO, I will do my best on the pre-op diet anyway just in case!!!!!

I think that there are people that don't lose on the pre-op and still get the surgery.

But I agree about the frozen meals...they have lots of sodium, so try adding more Water. My doctor's office recommend I have 2 shakes and 1 small meal, so maybe drop down to 2 shakes daily instead of 3 to see if that boosts your loss.


GOOD LUCK!!!

MsTheBandit,

Yay for June 20!!!!!

I have to have 2 weeks of 2 Protein shakes per day plus 1 low fat/low carb meal per day....the doctor's office gave me suggested guidelines on what to eat. I am also going to see a separate nutritionist right before I start the "diet"....thankfully I don't have to have the all clear liquid diet!!!

I've started to incorporate 5 Protein Shakes per week, either with skim milk or coconut milk....I also just bought a carton of soymilk to see how that tastes.....in the process of trying several different brands of Protein Shakes to see what I like best.

I will be having 2 last meals, probably before I start the diet....

one will be to go to this fancy Brazilian steakhouse that i LOVE, but it costs like $60 per person but you go and get meat DRUNK there!! It's one of those "only go there once in a blue moon" kind of places!!!

the other will be to a newly-found seafood place called The Boiling Crab that sells boiled seafood (shrimp, crawfish, and crab) by the pound and it is so freaking good!!!

Those will be my 2 "LAST MEALS" and I can't wait to go!!! I have a feeling it won't be worth it to go to either place after I've been banded....will cost too much for me to eat so little.


How about you???? Found anything you like so far for the liquids????

kristi

You're a better person than me.... there would have been some F bombs and telling him to do somethings that are anatomically is impossible. I can't handle disrespect...