I'll be honest with you your trainer stated that the surgeons are only interested in making, well trainers are doing the same exact thing. They are both selling you a new lifestyle change, difference is training is much harder work and the results you are looking for is not always promised. At least with surgery, you will have that assistance needed to complete the hard work necessary in the gym. Your trainer is only upset because he felt like he failed you in his own mind and I think that's a personal problem. Training is a business, sure your trainer may talk to you and get personal, but at the end of the day it's a business. Do what's right for YOU, don't worry about what others think because they don know how it feels to struggle with weight and hunger, period!
I'm proud you took the higher ground with your trainer, I say I he chooses not to respond to you email (which I found inspiring and respectable) that's his loss. Find a new trainer and start from scratch.
Good luck with your future surgery and have a speed recovery... Best wishes!