Hi Scuffy,
It's a little too early for me to call myself a "success story" because I just had surgery one month ago. But, I wanted to say how much I understand. Having gone through it all now, I am THRILLED that I had the surgery. I can already feel a difference. I am so tired of the self-hate of wondering exactly what you said "how did I let myself get this way". I'm so tired of not fully participating in life. We are obese. It's a horrible thing to have to say and write. But, we are not bad people. We are NOT weak people. Instead, like millions and millions and millions, we have a problem with food. THERE IS NO SHAME WHATSOEVER in pursuing the band. I spoke to my therapist many times before going through this --- she put it so well. She said "Look, you have a problem. You've tried EVERY diet. And now, guess what, you're trying something new. You should be PROUD for exploring this." She was right. I didn't have the patience to wait for my health insurance company (6 months of supervised dieting), so I went ahead and paid for the surgery. I have a fantastic surgeon who has walked me through everything. Whatever you decide, just please remember ---- you are not alone. Stop beating yourself up. I wish you all the best and feel free to ask me any questions.