renniemommie

I have not had the Sleeve, I am getting one soon and stories like yours (of failure or complications) convinced me to go forward with the sleeve. So I guess I am not much help, but Aetna at our hotel does cover it, BMI over 40 or 35 and up with co-morbilites. I'm done being fat and I am bit nervous that this will work, but I also know it is the best chance I have out there!

This has been going on for a long time and will forever-or until they are dead and the trait is passed on to the grandkids, unless you stop it and THIS is the perfect time. He's married to you, not them and time to cut the dang cord. He has obligations to you that superced them. And what they hell, he'd already proposed and Dad was telling the boy not to marry you cause you'd get fat. What had he not looked at your family yet, he knew he'd end up with a well-fed wife. What's wrong with that!?! Horrid parents, let your hubby deal with them, sounds like they won't change, partially cause they 'want the best' for him and partially cause they are busybodies. If you haven't had kids yet, it will get SO much worse, they will talk smack about you and your husband to the kids and tell you what to do. Cutting them off of time, getting off the phone when this starts is a great way to start after the "come to Jesus talk". Your hubby needs new habits himself, he has vomit mouth with them, but that's been going on forever and I suspect he is worried. Do what you (and your hubbY) decide for surgery, don't let them or anyone else tell you what to do-everyone else on here included!

They are still starving in China or wherever, eating or not! But, it will be on your butt! Just a thought!

I wonder if you need the Vitimans so close out, maybe just focus on hydration and basic calories. I haven't had surgery yet, but they say walk, and from my last surgeries it is day 3-5 (more or less) that sucks. Day 2 sounds ripe for pain, ya have to heal! Course call the Dr. if you have fever,etc. Colette

Terrible story honey and my heart goes out to you. Keep up the thearpy and group. Sexual abuse recovery is like peeling back layers of an onion, and simply speaking out loud changes so much, esp the stuck ruminations that are in your head-when it is over, hopefully you have a little cocktail onion in your hand! I feel bad (and mad at ) for your friend as well, she was younger than you were when that started and although I wish she hadn't allowed that to happen to you, I can see how it ended up that way, children just don't have the same coping mechs we do or process the same. I won't get into my own 'story' with you, it doesn't matter. It is a reminder to us to also tell our children that danger is from people we know and love in our lives as well, and that the guilt we feel is actually their guilt and that if despite our 'talks' to our children, something happens anyway, to please tell us, as people older than us can manipulate us, because they are older and it is a parents job to navigate those waters. Amazing "dream" your mom had. You were not a target because you were thin, you were a target because you were THERE. If you had been a fat child, he would have done the SAME to you. Guaranteed! I promise you this. I don't know if any of this helps you, but at age 40 an 275, I can assure you being fat or thin has nothing to do with male attention. Being un-confident and hiding within your self does, and even that only gets the best guys to ignore you, leaving you with the fringe males! (IMHO) Example; This past weekend, at 270, at Ren Fair, after hours I couldn't beat them off with a stick! I was with no makeup, undergarments from my costume and sweaty. I was confused! Then I realized all these men saw me in control all day (week) as bar manager, saw me in a confident position of power, it didn't matter (and at ren fair it really doesn't) the size of my butt! Young, immature men may be less interested in someone larger, but later when we all grow up, it doesn't matter. Just a thought. You love your self or your don't, I choose to love, all this other stuff in the way of loving yourself is just things..things to get in the way of your true self!

this is long, I will have to read again, but you reminded me when I lost a ton last year (I am waiting on Sleeve surgery date), I was drinking 4 tablespoons or so a day, it does cut the sweet tooth. At the school i worked at, we'd make pickle pops out of pickle juice, then post-lunch chaw on those, cut the sweets. Thanks for the reminder! Question, and you can PM me, but how do I tab/save a particular entry, like yours, so I don't have to search and search for it in the future? C

I had two. Not to freak ya out, but I "failed" the first one, but as a result of my experience and others, my Dr. THREW away her cards and is not recommending her anymore. This lady wanted some deep childhood investigation and we only had a hour! She wanted to know if my parents were married when I was born (40 years ago), and all this junk. Byotch. She had recommended that I wait till after my current job/money stressor, which then would defeat the purpose of the eval, since I won't have insurance once this stuff is over! I told her not to bother sending that in, I wasn't going to use her information.. So, I paid out of pocket for the In-House lady (who knows which side her bread is buttered). They will ask if you've had abuse, they will ask about food issues, it's Ok, ya wouldn't be there anyway if you didn't have any. They had me fill out a questionnaire that any reasonable person knows how to fill-out (are you sane enough to lie just a bit, LOL). I think it is reasonable to find out if you have the sense to understand what you are getting yourself into, the directives they are to give you, address any major fears you may have, are you so addicted to food are you gonna stuff marshmallows down your throat 24 hours after surgery.. The second lady was lovely. I could have chatted with her for hours, and of course, I got my clearance for surgery. It's not supposed to be a game of "gotcha"-you'll do fine!

..All good stuff, though there have to be people who just didn't make it here! Major surgery for a reason. If I disappear after March 7th-then add me to that list! I'll come back if I can! ah!!

I will clarify, that as of now I haven't had surgery, waiting on approval before my hubby loses the job (hopefully HR doesn't let insurance know they are about to lose him..otherwise I am out of luck!~..). Anyway, I will tell them all. I DARE anyone to judge me! I was mentioning my surgery to a buddy to find out that he has a failed band (that is why he gained all that weight back!!) and he is saving for a sleeve. I think I can help people, I hope to be successful and will share my info. I don't care who knows! If they ask, I will tell, matter of fact without room for judgment. Basically, I am 40 and been obese for awhile and I have seen the writing on the wall, so with this surgery and changed eating habits I hope to stay healthy forever. Period. My issue is trying not to tell people right now. My social group at Renaissance Festivals are very supportive-it is getting them to shut their happy mouths that is the trick! I am working a weekends only job as a bar manager at this festival that has to have me until April 7th!! I can't postpone surgery, I am already wayy under the wire. I have a sub for that one weekend, who is already employed by them. To avoid any weird drama, I am telling them Gallbladder with hernia that is urgent and can't wait, then they will be more understanding (they would likely be Ok anyway, but this makes it easier). Then, later when they see me thin (fingers crossed), I'll tell them that happened after the fair! And it won't matter at that point, since time will have passed. I hope this helps!

You might want to consider to tell the truth, since i am betting you are not terribly slim yet, and would be assumed to be eating a decent amount. You could also tell a downplayed version of the truth, maybe some kind of vague "recent abdominal surgery with hernia repair", so your diet is restricted for awhile..then if you guys last, tell the truth. Thing is, if you last, what will the impact of the current lie be? As it stands, he might think you are shy or trying to put on a false front, or sick, or he might even think it is his company.

Did I miss something, did she gain a bunch back?? Sounds like a 20LB battle to me from carbs. But still, a sober reminder to have control and good choices, something I'd hoped to be mostly free of after surgery. To do something so drastic I better do my part!

My pre-op 2 week diet (which my surgery had to be moved for) asks for 7 grams of fat, less than 30 grams of Carbs and about 60 grams of Protein. I can eat food, it is preferred until the day before. You'd think someone fat could count fat, but I have no idea how! I can do Atkins..but that's fat! Less food, grill my veggies and chicken? (over the sausage I ate this morning before I read the whole thing..day one failure!). I don't even know how much fat is in cheese, my old stand-by has in it. Ironically, the Dr. had examples of low-carb and high protein items on the sheet, but nothing about Fat-which I will tell him later would be helpful to have. Any obvious ideas? They also want me off Diet Soda, but don't seem to care about coffee. I am betting I best get un-addicted to Coffee too, other wise the Headache Fairy will crush down on me, although it is painful no matter how I do it, though I feel better without the Beast.. Thanks! Colette

for good

where do you get the Isopure? have you tried the Injury products?

I have actually written two people on here who had complications and disappeared. One still had problems, but less of them now and the other is doing just fine (and in the interim she had it rough, a pinhole leak that was hard to identify, but was eventually fixed and that caused the original issues). I am always worried that they died! I too have read too much, but it is certainly more info than my Dr would have gave me and the stories swayed me from the Drama Band!

I am worried, as I didn't lose the weight my suregon wanted me to. I did lose some, then gained a bit back. My appointment had been moved to Monday, I wish I'd taken Water Pills or something. I hope Aetna approves. I couldn't lose, even with the possibility if this being the deal breaker for surgery. How depressing..

I gained 4 pounds back!! I am still only 4 pounds down from when I started. I may get turned down as a result. I hope not....

Midol doesn't really work well, there is a better one,, DIRUEX-dumps salt, thus water, go to CVS or Walgreen's and ask them, some women gain a lot for periods. Also, cut salt and carbs, wear light clothes (no bra, underwear under a sundress-LOL), no dinner night before, clean your gut out. Tell your Dr that you are premenstrual and holding onto 5 pounds right now..hehe Then afterwards, drink some freaking water and eat a meal!!

I am not a good liar. I feels wrong. Technical lies too. I don't want to tell people I changed my diet and have them tell me how hard it is to do so, when I have a tool that made it possible for me that they don't have. It might make them feel bad that they can't do what I (hopefully) can. I am keeping it a bit mum until afterwards, I don't know why, I just am. I haven't had surgery yet, I will in the next 2 weeks. My family knows about it, but frankly I am going to wait till after two weeks or so to tell them I did it, they would be so worried. I would be too if I was them. I am in the middle of a festival weekends only job and this surgery will affect my ability to work it, so I am telling my job that I am having major surgery, weight restrictions, etc-but not telling them what, so they think it is medically ness, which it is, sort of. The job will go on for a month or so, then they won't see me again for months. I'll tell them later if they ask how I lost. Because of the dang job I am being a little on the Down Low. If it wasn't for the job I'd tell all my friends right now! Most my social group is at renaissance festivals (like the one I am in the mist of bar managing till April 5th for). I had to shut a friend up about telling the rest of the group! (She had DS). I WILL eventually tell anyone who asks. I don't care if they know. So far the response has been Yay for me! I told one of my best friends and she told the rest of our group the next time I walked up, she was so happy for me and since we all are Renaissance Women (get it?) they were happy too! I do not have a full-time job right now and don't see one real close either, so I bet when I get one I will be at a lower weight & have less questions. Although, I'll tell anyone who asks. I will tell them what and why: Basically, had surgery since I'd been obese for years and at 40 I saw the writing on the wall, but that I still have to do work to (hopefully) look this good! If they give me any grief, F-em! Good luck!

Somewhere over time I've gotten rid of full-length mirrors. I'd like to think it is cause I've moved and etc, but I don't look so hot in them anymore. TMI: When I was young and naughty they were even nice to have in the bedroom...but now: pitch black and then maybe not.. LOL Friday, when I had to move my last Dr. appointment before filling to Monday, I had on part of a towel and came to ask my hubby a question, but was stopped by the mirror. Who is that wide girl with ripples down the front of her legs and the 75 extra tummies?? OMG that is me! Tiny head, big ol body. Hellll no! I have been debating WLS, scared of the Sleeve, really I am (don't wanna die), but Band is stupid Drama and I suspect won't work anyway, so I'd even thought of doing nothing..then I saw the mirror! You've heard how older people "feel" inside 26 or whatever, even though their body is breaking down, I don't feel as bad as I look, I run around just fine in the world, although I have nothing to wear and don't look good in a dang thing, so I was surprised how I look compared to how I feel about myself (I do look good in that Peacock blue dress in my profile pic-and pics DO lie, my photographer BFF has The Eye). Anwayyy, now I say, bring it on! Told the Dr. yesterday, file for the sleeve! Now to wait for insurance to approve. Wait Wait Wait. Hubby is about to lose the job that pays for WLS, this is all under the wire, timing is crazy short. My goal is not to die in or after surgery, no leaks no complications! Then, my goal is to lose 115 lbs. I'd be able to get clothes, I looked good at that weight and didn't have to shop at The Fat Chicks Store (Lane Bryant). Come on Dr. Ganta and Aetna! TTL! Colette Here is an aside, I mentioned to a friend that I'm about to have surgery, he's a big boy, turns out he has a Band and gained back the 80 that he lost and he's saving for a OOP Sleeve, but told me of course that I look fine either way, but he hates his Band!

Maybe water pills like some take before period? The lightest weight clothes you can find. No dinner or water night before and light food that day. Cut your carbs as low as you can stand, since carbs hold water too. I've got the same issue!

your story convinces me to not get the Band. Keep your vitamins and protein up, so to stop hunger from weird things. I wonder if you might need some kind of adjustment to the sleeve in some way. Even so, your stomach is smaller. Good luck kiddo.

I discovered that I'd shrunk during a annual exam. Going from 5 10 to 5 9 was enough to knock me into 40 BMI, that is what got me started. All this time I was going on my old height! So when I went to the barbaric dr I remembered how my knee felt that day at the original dr and how I was standing..5 9 thank you very much, much better than gaining 4-6 pounds and keeping it on for 2 years. IF I choose the Sleeve, we will be Sleeve buddies, as I am tentative for the 28th as well.

Caths are not that bad. I know sometimes people get UTI's after one (and the hospital always claims clean conditions..), but taking it out awake is no real issue, ochy for a moment as they take it out and your happy it is gone. Talk to your Dr. Do what ever they want. I'd prefer not to have one, but I am going to let Dr. make call.

I think you have to take your Vit B! Now and esp when you get old. Supplement better when old, since crappy absorption. Remember metabolism gets slower as we age, so less calories not a bad thing. You'll just be happy with the Ensure when your old!