The tedious every-day sameness of it all. The waste of food, I eat something, my small mini- portion, refrigerated the remainder and there it sits with a reproachful smirk " You really think you'll ever eat the rest of me? You didn't like me That Well in the first place!"
This is Sucky Saturday for Frustr8, woke up with Mood Poisoning, must have been something I hate!
Last Tuesday my PICC line was removed, they theorized it might have been the focii causing my pneumonia, spent 26 hours in local community hospital with that, or the swollen acrominial joint in my right shoulder my orthopaedic surgeon took a needle to and drained off what looked like a jelly jar of funky fluid from. All that happened last Monday and Tuesday, been trying to chase down what the cultures might have shown, PCP is 7th Day Adventist, folds his tents at noon on Friday and submerged himself somewhere until 8 AM Monday morning.
Meanwhile Valerie the CNP from Dr Needlemans office and Kelly my omsbudwoman from the TPN. company, OptionCare, are dancing around patting each other on the back " Oh what a Wonderful Job we are doing with Frustr8, oh how well she is doing at almost 6 months! She should be ecstatic at how well things are going!" Hey girls, am I under Moo Moo attack because it sounds like B.S. to ME! Take a good look over here, I am losing currently at a rate of 1-2 pounds a month, I have lost So much weight from my face I look like a Bassett Hound, you yanked out my caloric certainty in the hopes of an ambiguous diet? An ounce twice of well-chewed low fat ground beef, a couple string cheeses an 2 ounces of mushy steamed into submission carrots. Just eat some of what appeals to ME? News Flash -Nothing appeals to ME! I watch food commericials, check out the before and after postings on BP, when it doesn't depress me that EVERYONE ELSE is shoveling in fuel for their bodies and most are a lot less as far from surgery than me. I knew Food was going to go from a joy and pleasure to being merely fuel, but this little jalopy wishes people would stay away from her gas cap, stop trying every couple hours to shove something in. Attention World, I am now Food Apathetic. Why does No One believe me? I shovel in all these meds daily, I think I have 21 or 22 different ones over the course of a day, and one had the audacity to ask if I could swallow? I'm sure not rubbing them into my skin,yeah fluids until I have grown to even loathe water. Meanwhile I have a sputtery breathing rhythm, a sore shoulder from Dr D's 18 gauge Needle Invasion, a dressing to watch on my left arm to watch where the PICC line once was, gave graduated to a Band-Aid but it has to be changed daily and I still can't have a shower unless I wrap the site in Saran Wrap. Whoopee ding ding! So I wish I had been warned about the tediousness, dull day to day of it all. Somebody asked me why I had surgery. Well I was told I would be dead in a year or 2 without it, I wanted help with an unsatisfied appetite, I did want to look better, was tired of people addressing me as " That Poor Old Thing", already knew due to my GERD and an first cousin who died of esophageal cancer,at the very least I was risking Barretts.
But at a skosh under 6 months I should be singing " I'm at the Top of the World looking Down on Creation" not " Is That All There Is?" I had to suspend my Carafate because of Cephlasporins, stopped my oral iron because I was to start iron infusions last week, well somebody must be off scraping rust off something to make it cause it hasn't happened yet. OSU of course wanted me to come to Columbus albeit not at their location, PCP said he didn't want me making the 100 mile round trip recovering from pneumonia, so it was supposed to be here locally. Maybe the 2 groups are engaged in a p****** contest because nothing more has happened.