Hey Everyone,
Just needing to get thoughts out there.
I'm a revision from band to sleeve. I've had my band removed and hopefully I will have sleeve surgery this summer. I'm going through all the motions for insurance approval. The time between is giving me alot of time to think.
I'm excited for the chance to finally lose weight successfully. I'm excited that maybe for the first time in my life I may possibly fit in "normal" size clothes. I'm excited that maybe....just maybe....with the weight loss I can maybe have children. I'm excited for the opportunity to not ache, not tucker out so darn easy, and just feel good for once.
And I'm also scared....
I'm scared of failing. I felt like a failure with my lap-band (even though I did have issues with it, even my surgeon said he won't even put them in anymore because of the complications many lap-band patients have), but I can't help but be scared of failure because I've failed so many times with trying to lose weight.
I'm nervous too...
I've never been "normal". I was a 10 pound baby...so I've been fat since birth. I have no clue what it's like to be what you would call normal. I don't want to say thin because I don't desire to be thin, I just want to be at a healthy weight....and I have no idea how that feels. I was a fat baby, kid, teen, and now adult. I have no real idea what life will be like. I know it will have to be better than how I feel/look now, but the unknown is scary. Thankfully my husband is very supportive, but I get nervous that he won't want to be with me anymore if I do lose alot of weight. He assures me that he doesn't care what size I am because he's in love with me, not my body (smart man...lol) but I can't help but have these fears since we began out relationship with me being the fluffy gal that I am.
Sorry for the long post....there's alot rolling around in my brain. I know that surgery is the best option for me, my doctors have been very encouraging, My mind just like to run emotional marathons....too bad my body hasn't. haha. Reading through the forum has always been helpful and encouraging. Anyways...thanks for listening to my ramblings.