I had a bit of a melt down last night.

It all seemed to hit me. I may never eat regular again. I now have surgical scars on a body that had never even been to a hospital. I mean Im having BIG time doubts about this and I can't change back. It's not like ANYTHING Ive ever done before. I had this thing put in. It was my choice, Im the only one to blame. I really did a lot of research before the surgery but nothing could prepare me for how Im feeling. I was really thinking about making myself puke so it would slip and have to be removed.

I really shouldn't be complaining I get a good nights sleep. Ive been sleeping on my stomach since the first night in the hospital. Drinking my 5 meals getting all my protein. Not getting enough water, but whatever. Going on walks with the DH to get exercise. Im not really in pain, just discomfort.

I wish I could be more psyched about this but right now I'm just trudging through the day thinking I've made the worst mistake of my life and pissed at myself for putting my family, body and mind through this.

I know this is not what you guys want to hear but It's how Im feeling. I think Im getting depressed. __________________

UPDATE If you're reading this please know that Im fine and after a few days I wrapped my mind around stuff. I'm doing really well and am happy with my decision. :biggrin:

how long has it been since your surgery?

banded on 3/4 so a little over a week.

I know how you feel. I was banded the same day in Sydney and I wonder why a paid to have myself mutilated. I hope I feel better soon as one of my incisions is 2 1/2 inches long and hurts the most.

Dear Ajoneen,

I've been thinking about getting a band but also scared of doing it. I wonder why can't I do it by myself, how well I'd hold to the died and lifestyle change... at the same time, I don't know what else to do. I'm 5'3" and 210 pounds right now. I feel depressed and have no energy. Please, keep me posted about you.

Good luck!

Adri

I hope you are feeling better at this point. I don't know if this helps, but the majority of people that go under a general anesthesia face some amount of post surgical depression. Maybe this is what you are experiencing. Once you start seeing the weight loss maybe your outlook will change. I am only trying to be supportive. I have not yet been banded, but planning on it as soon as it's authorized by my insurance. Hang in there.