An easy decision

I guess for me the decision to take the step to getting banded was easy. I have always been comfortable in my own skin, I've never had a problem with ME. BUT SOMETHINGS MUST CHANGE. I have been over weight for so long I can't remember. Having loving people in your life who do not judge you, only try to help, has made me the person I am, it has helped me to be strong. Being "fat" in this day and age is like social suicide. People look at you different and if you don't have thick skin, or if you are not secure within yourself, it can tend to get to some people. I know for myself, even though I am comfortable with myself, there is always something that can break you down a little. Like, going to see a play and not being able to fit comfotable in the seat, or being some where and feeling that you are the biggest person in the room, or going to the store with your "thin" friends and feeling lost because you can't fit anything. I recently came to a revelation about myself...I substitute clothes for accessories...Let me explain...if I go to a store and I can't find anything, or go into a store that doesn't carry my size, I tend to focus on other things like shoes, sunglasses, jewlery, purses, things that I don't have to worry about if I look fat in it. So you can imagine how many pairs of shoes I have. But the funny thing is I didn't realize this, or maybe I knew it all along just didn't admitt it, until I started this whole process. Since my insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, I'm having to come out of pocket. I've had problems trying to get some test done, but I go in for my Upper GI tommorow. This has never been soley an image thing for me, health issuses have played a major part in this, but I can't wait to look different.