lonely

I'm feeling very alone today. Why don't I make the correct choices. I know exactly what I should do, but then turn around and do the wrong thing. Is it just human nature or I'm I just try to defeat myself. I had my second fill the other day and I'm eating today, but I want to eat all the wrong thing today. I want to eat pizza, I know that some say that we don't just eat to be eating. I love food. I love pizza, it has nothing to do with feeling bad, or hating myself. I know sometimes it is because I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm happy or anyother emotional thing, but sometimes its just because I love that food. What I need to do is control what I eat. Eat only one piece of pizza not three or four. Since I have been banded I have eat pizza, mostly I eat the toppings and not the crust. I have not eaten bread and love bread when it hot and butter. I have not had a sandwich, I have not had a diet coke. I'm not sure why we are not to drink diet coke, but I haven't. Sure am getting tired of water. I don't like to drink a lot of anything and I know that's a problem. It also a problem when the till you not to drink one hour before and one hour after. Then add your eating time in and that is a big chunk out of your day, more than 6 hours that you can't drink, which only leaves about 9 hours or less to drink all that water. I need to excerise more, but my knee really does hurt. I have try to increase what I'm doing daily and need to add a short walk to my daily routine. Can't go to far or the knee hurts and the hip hurts. I hope that gets better as I lose weight. Time will tell if it helps or if I have to go to the doctor again to see about them. The last doctor told me that I need to lose weight. The knees are gone, but not bad enough to replace, can't imagine what the have to be like to have them fixed. I need to expend more calories then I take in. That is the formula for losing weight.

The more weight you lose the better your knee will feel, promise. Force yourself to take 15 min walk everyday, use this time to meditate, clear your head etc instead of food. It really does help. Increase your walks every week by 5 min, before you know it, you will not be able to sleep until you've had your walk.

Don't push yourself too hard with a bad knee, but force yourself to walk a little everyday.

Also, don't worry about the lose skin, that just comes, and sometimes it doesn't - we never know how we're going to end up, so don't focus on that at this point - just try and make healthy food choices, and your not always going to do it, so don't beat yourself up over it. Just realize you made a mistake and move on, its only natural we will want bad stuff at times, and sometimes we will give in to our desires. But try and limit those times. Hang in there! And 23 lbs loss is GREAT!