Surgery April 6th 2015

My name is Kelly, starting weight 225 lbs. i am 5'5 and turning 50 years old this year. I was so nervous for the surgery. Scared to death actually. When I arrived in my hospital room after recovery I was just thankful to be alive. It was silly really because my surgeon said it was a text book case and everything went really well. I had no pain at first. In fact the sutures were not my problem. It was the gas left over from the surgery that was the most painful. But after about 5 days and stopping the meds, a couple glasses of Metamucil and that went away also. What a relief. try to stop pain meds asap. so constipating...! I am very excited for my journey. tomorrow will be exactly 3 weeks since my surgery. I have lost 20 pounds. However I am having a problem with head hunger. I also still have no willpower. I have tasted my husbands salmon, chinese food and have eaten food before allowed. the guilt is killing me and I know i would of lost more weight by now if I wasnt such a cheater. Why cant I control myself. No.. I cannot eat alot. and I only took a bite. but i have been told over and over again. the first six months is the most important. DO NOT CHEAT DO NOT CHEAT. FOLLOW THE GUIDELINES FOLLOW YOUR STAGES.