Reflections on last year

Just a little over a year ago, I wrote about what I thought 2012 would be like for me. I was experiencing a lot of stress at the time thinking how drastically my life would transform by having weight loss surgery, adopting a baby and potentially changing my job; three major life changes.

The weight loss journey has been a unique ride into a bizarre world where I am valued and found to be attractive by people around me. While it was difficult physically, it was not any harder than what I had expected. Mentally and emotionally, the journey has been surreal. I’m still not sure what to make of everything and I’m still trying to get used to this new life.

I was very anxious about my surgery. I was worried about having medical complications and I was concerned about the impact the surgery would have on my life. Fortunately, I had nothing to worry about. The surgery and recovery went smoothly. I was worried about standing out in a crowd or drawing attention to myself because of my dietary needs. My anxiety was unfounded as I have discovered that I am no different than anyone else except that I eat less food. I don’t mind telling waiters and fellow diners that I’ve had surgery and therefore am not able to eat large quantities of food. I am not ashamed of my surgery in the least. I know I could not have lost this weight without the surgery.

Last year, I had a lot of new experiences with food and people. My goal this year will be to take what I learned last year and apply it. I still have 60 pounds I want to lose. I need to focus on my recovery and weight loss once again like I did a year ago. It is necessary for me to use what I learned about protein shakes, eating slowly, and making better food choices to take my journey to the next level.

I bought bicycles last year but did not use them very much. After losing weight I was more active than I had ever been before. I went on several walks and then there was that infamous kayaking trip. It is very easy for me to revert back to my old sedentary habits; therefore, I need to make a conscious effort to continue to stay active in 2013.

Finally, this year I need to learn to become more comfortable in my own skin. I need to learn the social skills required to make new friends and confidently talk to strangers. I think this has more to do with my self-esteem and confidence than anything else.

I don’t believe in making concrete New Year’s resolutions, but I think some lifestyle and behavioral changes are always a positive thing. In a push to grow as an individual, I will make an effort to be more active; more social; and practice healthy eating behaviors.

As it is getting late, I will discuss the adoption and career at another time.