Today I have my 5^th month apt (out of my 6 month pre-op process).  I am more than nervous.  I didn't over do it on Thanksgiving but still I worry I have not lost enough weight. 

I read a blog post that said people really only gain about 5 lbs. over the holidays but most of us tend to think we gained more.  That's me.  I am so worried that I gained and/or didn't lose enough to qualify.  I mean I have 1 more month before I can be submitted for approval and well Christmas is in that month. 

I'm trying not to stress out (I'm known to do that around highly important events).  I also have to submit my food diary, questionnaire (why I want surgery and what my lifestyle is like), 1 day of meals post-op, and 1 day worth of meals during the puree stage.  Looking back, this has been a long frustrating journey. 

Every time I am ready to have a pitty party or get frustrated I think about the blog 300poundsdown.com.  Holly is a true inspiration.  She is someone who has a story to tell.  While sure our stories and challenges are different, I can count on her posts to help me realize that no matter where you start, it is worth it to keep going to goal.

One thing about me...I've never been a crier (at least not a sappy one - pain sure okay).  I watch movies and when the person dies, falls in love, rides off into the sunset...yup I'm in the wow, s/he can act camp.  But cry and feel a sudden sense of loss...nope, it is just not me.  Same goes when reading high charged emotional books, stories, etc. 

That being said, I have to say, I've never met Holly but feel like I know her.  Her posts can bring anyone (yes even me) to tears.  Her determination and sheer positivity is amazing.  Her blog is my go-to when I'm ready to get down on myself for not losing enough, making a bad choice, thinking of giving up, not having progressed in this process enough, etc. 

I realized a few minutes ago when reading her post over lunch that I have made her my unofficial WLS hero.  She will never know this but I say this to encourage anyone else out there that feels frustrated during this pre-op process:  Go on over to Holly's site and check out her story.  You'll find she will really inspire you to just keep on going.