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So Here We Go

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Shelli_d

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I decided that today was the day for me to start blogging on here b/c quite frankly I am so pissed at myself right now..i have been doing so good these past few weeks and i was starting to see a change in the scale and i was ecstatic about it. then the stress rolled in and pppffffhhhttt that was it..my 1 meal on Friday was over 1600 calories! For one damn meal!! I know this b/c i went on their website and looked it up..can you say shocked! Mortified! embarrassed! If my legs were long enough I'd kick my own ass! so then today my thinking was ah well since i have f'd up already why not a little more so a drive thru it was! UGHHHH!! Dammit! I do admit i am a food addict. and it isnt an easy addiction as you cant totally give up food like u can say drugs or alcohol..so what to do? i have had my woe is me time and now starting today (well when i get up later since its after 1am here on the East coast) I know that i messed up and now it is time to get serious yet again. I meet with my NUT Katie on the 23rd of July and i plan on being a lil bit lighter than i am now..its so hard but i know eventually this will get better and food wont be an issue or my go to thing when ever something doesnt go my way or stress beats on my door or the Devil wants to bring old habits back..i will not give in..ive come too far in this journey to stop now. i deserve to be happy. I am doing this for me and no one else but me.

i am accountable for my own actions. and i take full responsibility for what happened this weekend and now we start anew. From here on out. Any time that i feel like the old way creeping in i will be writing down my feelings here.

 

So

Here

WE

GO!!!

 

I

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"Failure" is not in falling down, or making mistakes, or in actions we regret, but in giving up. You haven't done that, Shelli D. If you put the whole thing in a different perspective, you're doing better than average. Or use another habit (other than food) as an example of what you're trying to accomplish. If you want to stop chewing your fingernails, you can count on at least six weeks of mindfulness, and in that six weeks, you will chew your nails. Possibly right off. :) But they grow back, and you learn to keep your hands busy and your fingers out of your mouth. lol

Don't confuse set backs with failure. You're right that we can't just give up food, but the mindfulness we need is the new habit we want to cultivate. And next time those "f'd up already, might as well do x, y, or z" thoughts happen, you'll have that mindfulness a little quicker, and that little longer willpower. Maybe enough even to get yourself to somewhere or someone who can distract you from the action of the old habits.

You can do it. In fact, you already are. Go, you!

CE

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I completely agree with CdnExpat! In the past, would you have bothered to look up on the net to see what the calorie content was? that is a change. The fact you are seeking other options besides falling into the "food trap" means further change. Sure we will make mistakes on this - not to be corney but it's a journey. With many paths and roads, hazards and detours. But by doing what you are doing, searching for another alternative to get to your destination (nope, I'm not done with this analogy yet :), you're winning. it's small victories but if you can start to celebrate them and then plan actions to adjust when things aren't going so well, you are going to succeed in the long-run.

Keep up the great work!!

Cheers, Lila

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