Start Of Week 29

These stalls are just madding. For 2 weeks now I have not lost a pound, but have managed to gain 4 pounds. I am retaining fluid like crazy, my feet, legs, and arms are so puffy and when I take off my socks and shoes the indents are big. I hate these stalls I get so down on myself and start to worry about not losing another pound. I make my self crazy with counting calories and how much I drink it is to the point that I keep a log of how I feel when I eat and the time that I eat. It has become an obsession for me. I need to stop the merry go round and get off.

Losing weight is so important to me, I need to lose it so I can live I know I didn't put it on over night and it will take time but time is what I don't have a lot of. I just keep praying that the weight loss gives me more time to lose more weight.

There is such a big push for me to reach that 100lbs gone so that I will quit smoking I think that has been detrimental for me. I want to quit I'm just not ready to. I smoked for 9 years then quit when I learned I was pregnant, then started again until I was pregnant again then started back again, that was 29 years ago. I know that I would feel better but it's just the fact someone is telling me I have to quit. Maybe if it was my idea and my time line it wouldn't be so bad. So I'm thinking if I start the process now of quitting it will take the pressure off me and I don't have to worry about that 100lb mark.

Day by Day Step by Step with Jesus is what I pray for me today.