Trying to integrate new life into old life..not so easy

I went shopping with my hubby yesterday. We walked a lot, which was good and I am getting back to my old stamina now that my nausea and pain are under conrol. The thing that suprosed me most was how much I DIDN"T enjoy it. Guess why??? Because the excursion wasnt themed around what we were going to eat! My husband was thrilled by this- that everything we do isn't food centered in my mind, but I had a hard time reconciling this in my mind. I felt sad and resentful most of the day. I guess that is what they mean by grieving the loss of food...I do remind myself that this is a good outcome and what I have been longing for to keep myslef in check since I obviously could not do it beforehand, but it has opened my eyes to just how much food had become a crutch in my lifestyle. And maybe I have some emotional baggage that food has helped me avoid. The good news is maybe this bodes well for the checkbook since shopping has now lost some of it's appeal...lol. In the meantime, I need to try to move on past my depression over food deprivation and teach myself that ENJOYMENT in what I eat is not associated with VOLUME.

My Weight Chart:

>