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I never knew I wanted this so bad

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A New Me

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Hi my name is lauren im 25 living in san diego.. I have been pretty overweight most of life except two years in highschool when I would run every morning and night..After that weight just packed on more than ever. Bout four years ago I met my husband and quickly became pregnant gaining bout 60 more lbs yuck.. I could feel it my back, legs, feet, you name it ache all the time..worst pain I have ever experienced. Which is pretty bad since I am only 25...My job working in the nursing field is even more difficult being on my feet for 12 hours and constantly lifting people throughout the day. I honestly dont know how I have kept my job..I have to push myself everyday to get up out of bed and move move move...Depression has also been the worst for me, I have a huge negative self image all the girls around me are so pretty and thin and pretty, basically not me. But I am hoping that will change with this surgery, I just need a little more help than most people. Im not like my friends who can gain weight, esp baby weight and just loose it immediately..... So my surgery date is June 9th which I believe is like 21 days from now..prob going to be the longest couple of weeks of my life.I am so anxious and just starting to realize that I do want this so bad more than anything.. I want to be happy, healthy, energetic to keep up with my son..There is so much I havent been able to experience because of this weight load...I am so happy that I can read everyones stories, this will def keep me motivated...more to come..

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Losing weight won't magically make you feel better about yourself (this was hard for me to come to terms with). I noticed you said pretty twice when you were talking about other girls. You can be pretty and fat (and you are! You're very pretty in your profile pic!). I am (a pretty fat chick). And there are a TON of ugly skinny girls! TONS! Therapy might help. I know I need it. Badly. Just can't afford it right now. The support group I attend says, "we fix the plumbing, you have to take care of the electrical."

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