Month 4

It has been almost (just a few days shy of) 4 months since my sleeve surgery. The first month and a half was rough. Just feeling tired, and struggling with getting all the fluids in. Aside from a minor stomach bug, no complications thus far. I don't count my recent lupus diagnosis as a complication because I showed signs of that before surgery, and the 2 are completely unrelated.

As of today, I am down 60 lbs. What? Yes, let me repeat that. 60 LBS!!!!

In general, I feel good. I joined a gym. But have only gone twice. That is one of my areas of improvement. Even if I just walk on the treadmill for 20-30 minutes, some activity is better than none.

I think the hardest part of this whole journey has been retraining my brain. I still get head hunger. I still get impulsive and eat wrong, then pay for it. But this is all a learning opportunity. I know it takes time. One area I struggle with lately is complete and total lack of appetite. Food does not sound or smell appetizing . Often times I just dont eat, then wonder why I feel like crap and have headaches. I guess one of the reasons I dont like to eat is that I am so utterly stuffed by 2-3 bites. It is disappointing. I used to be able to sit and eat right along with my family and friends. I felt included. Granted due to self esteem I didnt really participate in conversation.

Now it seems conversation is all I can do, since eating is done early in the meal. Am I complaining? HELL NO! I just wanted to put my thoughts on paper.

I am truly blessed with this wonderful gift of forced self control. I just need to learn how to embrace it and use it to it's full potential.

Until next time,

MICHELLE