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Why is WLS a secret?

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newnatalie

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I have never been skinny! I can remember being SMALLER, but never skinny. Over the years, I have contemplated weight loss surgery (WLS), but it wasn't until this year that I decided it was time.

 

Once I decided to have WLS, I made a vow that I would not keep it a secret! I know so many people who have had WLS who simply refuse to share or to make it even worse, they flat out lie. The exchange goes something like this:

 

Me: Oh my God Sherry! You look great! You've lost so much weight. What are you doing?

Sherry: I just stopped eating so much and started walking.

Me: Really. I have tried that, but I didn't lose as much as you.

Sherry: Just keep trying. You can do it!

 

I walked away from that conversation feeling like a fat failure!!! Why can't I lose weight when I stop eating so much? I have walked many a days and my weight did not drop that fast! What's wrong with me? I wanted the success Sherry had, but little did I know only t Sherry actually had Gastric Bypass! Why wouldn't she just tell the truth? Why would she not encourage me with her journey? Plus, if you lose 100 pounds in 6 months, I am going to know something is up! Instead I was left feeling inadequate. From that day on, I vowed I would always be honest having WLS. Why does it have to be a secret?

 

I am scheduled for VSG on November 30, 2010. I will hold true to my vow of disclosure. I have one friend who threatened to stop talking to me if I had WLS. I basically gave her a piece of mind and that was that. I realized that many people don't tell for fear of being judged or having to explain themselves. This, I understand. But if you meet another struggling, obese brother or sister who knows how difficult weight loss is, don't let them walk away defeated. Don't allow them to believe you are a "super weight losing machine." Share your WLS story. Encourage them to do what is best for them and their health.

 

So, the countdown is on. I pray I can be an inspiration to many as I end the reign of WLS secrecy! Bottom line is: I am telling!

 

NewNatalie

Houston, Texas

Current Weight: 280 pounds

Scheduled for VSG: November 30, 2010 ~ Dr. Dexter Turnquest

 

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I feel ya! I haven't been shouting it out to just everyone but if people ask, I tell. So far, I have ony had one person that when I told them which weight-loss surgery I was having give me hard time. Turned out she had just had the lap band put into place. I was polite and just told her that I choose the VSG because I didn't like needles. She hadn"t had her first fill but made sure to tell me how she (in her own woeds) ate like a pig at her family's holiday meal because she still could and she is already working out how to keep eating some of her favorite things. I don't think she got the idea of her tool!

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@MicNic - I just think we should encourage one another on this weight loss journey as much as possible! You don't have to go around shouting you had WLS, but if someone asked what you have been doing, with a sincere heart, you should tell them truth. Thanks for checking out my blog!

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I'd never lie to another fat person, because I feel that I'd be withholding potentially lifesaving information from them. But stuck-up skinny people who think they know everything about obesity because THEY don't like chocolate and THEY have fast metabolisms....another story.

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Well that's fine for you, because you feel you are able to stand up to people who question you and "give them a piece of your mind". Not everyone feels that way. The natural answer then, is to do whatever feels right to you. If you want to tell, tell. If you want to keep your business private, do so. There isn't a right and wrong answer and I don't feel it's anyone's business how I am losing weight. The other "obese brothers and sisters" can access the same information I did to make my decision, they aren't my responsibility.

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@emilygrace - I respect your right to privacy and realize everyone is not as open as I am. I also know how difficult this obesity battle is so if I can help anyone along the way, I will. Trust me, I won't walk around shouting "I had VSG" to the roof top. But if someone approaches me and is sincerely seeking help, I would feel awful if I did not let them know my secret.

To say that "other obese brothers and sisters are not my responsibility" is a little cold! This forum has been a life saver. If it had not been for those who have shared their experience and encouraged me, I would be very afraid right now. I am grateful that they did not simply get healthy and forget about everyone else who is struggling. It is VERY important to support one another!

You owe no one an explanation for your decision to have WLS. There's no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. As long as these are not your reasons fro keeping it a secret, I say do what makes you comfortable. I wish you the best!

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@emilygrace - I respect your right to privacy and realize everyone is not as open as I am. I also know how difficult this obesity battle is so if I can help anyone along the way, I will. Trust me, I won't walk around shouting "I had VSG" to the roof top. But if someone approaches me and is sincerely seeking help, I would feel awful if I did not let them know my secret.

To say that "other obese brothers and sisters are not my responsibility" is a little cold! This forum has been a life saver. If it had not been for those who have shared their experience and encouraged me, I would be very afraid right now. I am grateful that they did not simply get healthy and forget about everyone else who is struggling. It is VERY important to support one another!

You owe no one an explanation for your decision to have WLS. There's no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. As long as these are not your reasons fro keeping it a secret, I say do what makes you comfortable. I wish you the best!

I too want to share information about the new tool I now have. I would not promote or recommend to anyone but would be open to answer questions which could possibly help someone else. Being overweight can have a negative effect on so many aspects of a person's life, sharing anything which may help seems almost like a must.

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@emilygrace - I respect your right to privacy and realize everyone is not as open as I am. I also know how difficult this obesity battle is so if I can help anyone along the way, I will. Trust me, I won't walk around shouting "I had VSG" to the roof top. But if someone approaches me and is sincerely seeking help, I would feel awful if I did not let them know my secret.

To say that "other obese brothers and sisters are not my responsibility" is a little cold! This forum has been a life saver. If it had not been for those who have shared their experience and encouraged me, I would be very afraid right now. I am grateful that they did not simply get healthy and forget about everyone else who is struggling. It is VERY important to support one another!

I don't feel you're any more "open" than I am because I choose not to broadcast my personal medical issues to strangers.

Yes, it is important to support each other - I don't feel calling someone "cold" is particularly supportive, but you may disagree. Seeking out people who are interested in the same surgery you had or are considering and forming part of an internet community is one thing. Feeling obliged to educate overweight strangers I come across in daily life, I do not consider to be my responsibility. If that makes me "cold" in your opinion, so be it.

Your judgemental attitude is precisely why I don't feel obligated to expose my choices to others.

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@emilygrace - Please accept my apology. It seems you were offended by my response. This definitely was not my intent! There is no right or wrong answer to this issue. It is simply what you are comfortable with. I was simply sharing my experience and how I felt. Take care.

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