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Kime-lou

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It has been a long time since I have written or read much on this site. Work is kicking my butt, working about 9-10 hours a day in the office, then coming home to do house work. It's become a work, work, work atmosphere and it's getting me down.

 

This past Sunday I spent most of the day sleeping, I was exhausted. It's just Tuesday and I have already put in 22 hours. My body aches, I feel blah, and have zero motivation or desire to do anything more that what is necessary. Exercise just ain't happening and lately neither has healthy eating.

 

I caught myself today eating like I use to and it scared me. I haven't had time to think lately or put much effort into meals. Breakfast is still the same yogurt, blueberries with a sprinkle of granola. Lunch is anything from cereal to take out. Today a friend went to Moes and got me a burrito bowl. I was busy working at my desk, she put it in front of me and said eat. I said thanks and started working. I was working and eating and caught myself mindlessly eating and shoveling it in. That is a habit I never want to see again. When I finally get home from work, I have no energy left to want to cook, so it easy stuff like bag meals or delivery pizza.

 

Thankfully, this crazy time tends to only last about a month, before things get back to normal. I can't wait!! My stress level is higher than it's been in a very long time, people at work are ill, the new computer system at work plan out sucks and cause me to work twice as hard to do half the work. Honestly, I want to sit down and cry.

 

My weight is still holding in the 186-189 range, which I guess I should be thankful that it hasn't gone up considering my horrific eating habits of late. With all the stress it causes me to look at myself like I use to- like a huge fat blob that will never loose weight so why try. I know 60 lbs are gone, but I still feel huge.

 

I am guessing it's the working myself to the bone, exhaustion, time of the month, ect that are getting me down. I had so hoped that by this time or at least by Christmas this year I would be at my goal of 140, but I am starting to think I will never get there and why try.

 

Any one with some words of wisdom or some encouragement out there? Totally feeling down and unworthy.

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I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I wish I had some wisdom to share... It sounds like you need a break, some time to re-focus on YOU.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you haven't gained and that is a big victory. Forgive yourself and move forward.

I hope it all settles soon.

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I am very happy to hear from you, again. The beginning of the school year is always very busy. Sometimes you just have to walk away from your desk and say it's me time for 15 minutes.

Have a great Labor Day weekend and relax with your wonderful husband.

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Kime, it is so easy to fall back into our old ways and into our comfort zone. Here are a few suggestions from someone who works a lot of long hours. Plan... Planning snacks and meals is key to being successful and staying on track. Yes it takes time and energy to get this started but it pays off in the long run and than you are not tempted to migrate to those comfort foods and allowing your head hunger to rule you again. On your days off take the time to sit down and plan some meals that will allow you to take the left overs for lunch the next day. Make yourself some healthy snacks and place them in snack bags in a container and keep in the cabnet or fridge. I keep my protein bars in the freezer, this forces me to eat them slowly and take the time to enjoy them. I place my nuts or chocolate in individual bags that are my serving size. I never trust my self to know when to stop eating because honestly who sees it but me and if no one sees it it does'nt count RIGHT. That was my old way of thinking and it is so easy for me to go back there if I don't stay focused. I like snacking as much as the next person so I plan. I have also found that if I allow myself to eat Pizza or a pasta dish I am soooo hungry in a very short period of time and this makes it hard. I work hard to eliminate carbs at night and focus more on protein and green veggies for nights. I always try to save some calories for night time because when I watch TV I want a snack some nights and I figure planned snacks are better than just eating anything and everything in site. My last comment is don't give up on your self, you have done a good job of losing weight and will continue to lose. Stress is unfortunately part of our daily lives and there will always be something that triggers us to eat or graze.

Good luck and I know you can do this and reach your personal goal.

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Please know that you are worthy of all good things. It's so easy to get down on ourselves when we're exhausted. Please be gentle with yourself and take good care -- you are worth it. Thank you for posting. It really helps me to read what others are going through. Life can be so stressful. When I'm able to step back and view things from a distance, sometimes I gain insight.

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Thanks all! We have a 3 day weekend coming, but it is full. The normal - grocery time and cleaning the house. My BFF had a baby yesterday, so we are going an hour north to see them and meet our new godson. Sunday we are going to my moms, because we haven't seen them in a couple of weeks. Monday I hope to get a little rest and go out for our anniversary dinner. The hubs and I will have been married 4 years on Sept 5, but we know we won't be able to celebrate during the week.

I hit the bed about 8:00 last night and got up at my normal 5 am. I however, feel tired already. Don't know what's wrong with me. All I want to do is sleep and eat. Have a doctor's appointment next week, hopefully they will do blood work and see what's up.

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I am so sorry you're still dealing with asshatery at work. I'm even more sorry to hear you're struggling so much. But really, considering all you've been dealing with? It think it's awesome you've managed to maintain your weight despite recent obstacles. I think that's a huge accomplishment.

Please hang in there. We're with you in spirit and pulling for you!

((hugs))

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