Scratching to Climb this Mountain....

The last week has been emotional. I have a lot going on in both my professional life as well as my personal life. I have a lot of decisions to make on both fronts that will effect the rest of my life. So needless to say I feel a little out of sorts.

At work we are changing systems and I have to write a software program to track some things that won't be tracked in the new system. Plus, I have to get all the training in for the new system so I can train everyone else.

My mother-in-law is begging us to come up north to see her. While we want to, right now with my crazy work life it is hard to find some time to take off.

My dog got crazy sick last Thursday night. Vomiting blood- we were at the ER vet at 3 am. Thank God she is better, but I am having to watch her like a hawk. Plus, she has gotten really clingy during all of this.

We have had a contractor working on our house. Had our deck enlarged from a 10x14 to a 25x14.

Managed to get to my mom's for mothers day, which I ate a dessert and shouldn't have. I had to leave my dog for a few hours with the hubs, which caused the dog to howl for 45 min, driving the hubs crazy. She finally tuckered herself out and went to sleep.

Mother's Day is hard for me. If I wouldn't have lost my first child, she would be 3 and a half now. I have lost two more since losing her. Then I went to my OB/GYN Monday and was told my chance for having a child are slim. He said I can keep trying, but he would not get to invested until we are through the first trimester and half of the 2nd. So it's hard to decide if we should give it another go or not. The thought of seeing a postive pregnancy test I think would scare me. I am so scared of losing another one.

My weight loss is still at a sllllooooowww pace. Since Dec. I have only lost 10 lbs. It's hard to stay positive and focused when I seem to be getting hits from all side. Last week was pretty good weight wise. I went down to 188. After Mother's Day weekend and a splurge up to 190. It is so easy to put on and so hard to take off. It seems I can't even have one cookie without my body flipping out and gaining weight. Being that I seem to stay busy from before the sun rises until after it set finding time to work out has been difficult.

I am exhusted from the fast pace of life right now, and the knowledge that it's not going to get any better any time soon.

On top of all this the hubs and I are trying to figure out if I should go back to school to finish out my degree that I was forced to give up on years ago due to finances.

So as you can see I have a lot going on. I am not sure what to do or which way to turn. I am just tired!!