How To Preserve A Husband

Be careful in your selection do not choose too young and take only such as have been reared in a good moral atmosphere. Some wives insist on keeping husbands in a pickle, while others put them in hot water. This only makes them sour, hard, and sometimes bitter. Even poor varieties may be made sweet and good by garnishing them with patience, well-sweetened with smiles and flavored with kisses to taste. Keep warm in a steady fire of domestic devotion and serve with peaches and cream. When thus preserved, they will keep for years.

This is from Carla Emery’s book The Encyclopedia of Country Living.