So it been 2 1/2 years since i got my LB. I have done well. Not as well as others. I really thought i would be down to 125-130 by now.... but can't seem to get past the 143 mark.... Well i got to 139 for a brief period of time right after my Tummy Tuck... Got back up to 149, but now i'm back to .... 143. I guess it's my number.
So i was talking with my husband and i asked him.... what do you think about the way I look? Was i not thinking right or what....lol..... But to my surprise he said he thought i looked perfect... Wow was not expecting that. Then i said.... I would really like to lose another 10lbs.... He said why are you so focused on the "number" on the scale?.... I was completely caught off guard by that question.
So i asked my self..... Why am i so consumed by the number on the scale (aka the devil)? And i really don't know why. I got the band to stop the cycle of Heart attacks and diabetes in my family and i wanted to be able to run and play with my grand kids. I also wanted to stop having to shop at Lane Bryant.... I wanted to feel good and look good, i wanted to be pretty again... You would think being a size 6 and 143ish pounds would be good... Enough. Why is it not? My first goal was to be a size 10, got that. Then i said... well if i could only be a size 8 then i will be happy, got that.... then it was... i hate this stomach roll... boy if i could just get that taken off.... i would be happy and not need another thing, got the Tummy Tuck.
Now it's my face.... What...? Yes my face, now that i lost the weight, i can see all the lines and wrinkles that the "fat" face hid.... So at dinner the other night... i brought Botox..... my husband of coarse rolled his eyes.... my son the RN went thru all the horror stories about botched Botox..... But none set in as much as my 6 year old Grandson when he said.....
Nana... i think your beautiful just the way you are....(insert tears)... If a 6 year old can see it... Then why can't I??
So that's why i ask..... When is Enough... Enough?