Patience is a virtue...

I have discovered something about myself... I go to the grocery store every week and buy food for myself and my family. I started running out of room in my cabinets for the food I bought. So I realized, after awhile, that I am hoarding food!!! I have been losing weight at a good rate since my lapband in March 2012 but I am always looking for new things that I can eat. I get it home~try it and can't eat it~no one else in the house wants it~so it sits in the cabinet to expire. So I buy all this crap I don't need and can't eat while the grocery store makes money! Now that I can't eat what I used to eat I am substituting my lack of fattening foods with SHOPPING; go figure. The realization "smacked" me in the face one day that I am holding onto foods that I can't eat and it fills some kind of void. I buy it and take it home and let it sit in my cabinets!!! Hello, my name is Kelli and I am a food hoarder.

I kind of feel like a failure for only losing 50 lbs... That statement is an oxymoron!! You haven't failed at all. You are 50 lbs lighter!! I know that every hurdle we hit knocks us on our butt but think of where you would be if you hadn't been banded at all? You would be miserable and fat and hating yourself (maybe that's just me?). I do the same thing...sometimes I let myself get discouraged over the littlest things but then I snap out of it. Everyday is different and we have to try to make the most of it and know that any loss is an improvement from where we were when we started this journey. It's ok...go at your own pace and change things up when you're not losing. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon!!!

Everyone is right, you won't really start noticing any loss until after your 1st fill. You have to heal and get used to your new way of life. Plus, you could be losing inches without seeing pounds lost. Hang in there...it's too early.

Maybe you should change doctors? If they are letting someone give you fills that doesn't know how or isn't paying attention to each individual patient then I wouldn't keep giving them my money or my insurance money. As soon as you said they are giving you 1cc every time it sounded like too much to me. They should not forget that how they "fill" us can make or break our diet and everything hinges on how we feel. Maybe you could ask someone else in the office to do your fills?

That's what I've heard...you have to get your full intake of protein and calories. If you're not taking in enough then your body has nothing to burn. It's all on a learning curve. I have realized that every day is different from the next.

So I have a question for you veterans... Will it eventually loosen up? I have been tight for 3 weeks, too. I'm so miserable and unhappy. I heard someone at the doctor's office say that when you have some taken out they have to take a little more?

I have bad days like that but I can ALWAYS get liquids down. Lots of days I can't get anything down and I think it's kind of strange, too. Have you called your doctor? You may be trying to eat the wrong things that don't pass through the band very well? Sometimes, I figure out the hard way that the new food I tried to eat won't go down so I check that off of my list. I have read lots of posts on here that it could be...stress, weather, that time of the month? Lots of things impact your band......it's crazy.

I have had this lifetime hate for the fatgirl in the mirror and it was time to shut her up!! I am stubborn enough that I will WIN (I always get my way)!!!

It will get better. I was really tight and it hurt really bad when I was sitting or laying down and tried to get up. The sleeping at night was a problem, too. It gets better everyday. After a month all the pain was a distant memory. Just remember you have been cut on and had surgery so it will take time. Try not to focus on the pain...I know that's hard to do. If that's the worst you've got then you've got it made. You will survive and lose weight in the end which is what you did this for. Hang in there!!!

I don't know about you but I have been fat my whole adult life and will not know how to be or what to think if and when I make it to goal. In my mind, I will be happy when I am skinny but I secretly know the fat girl inside will never let me be happy. There will always be some obstacle to overcome.

Wow, what you wrote is exactly the way I feel. My only problem is that I have not hit my goal and have a long way to go. I have only been banded for almost 4 months but a lot of what you said is my daily living...the number on the scale and never being happy with myself. I know that's my fat self talking and not the skinny b**** I will become (I hope) but I don't think I will EVER be happy with myself. Time will tell...............