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Eat To Live...no Longer Living To Eat.....

Jim1967

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I was banded in April of this year and I have certainly had my ups and downs. Good news is the ups and downs was all mental because physically I couldn't have wished for a better outcome. At 450 pounds I was certainly nervous about anesthesia and the actual surgery. My Surgeon absolutely rocked and he gave me kuddos during recovery about how good of a job I did preparing and shrinking my liver. We both had exceptional days that day.

 

So, I have been banded about 10 weeks now and I have lost 48lbs. First month after surgery was the roughest because my mind started playing tricks on me. I started thinking weight should be falling off of me instantly and it wasn't. I dropped a 172 lbs between 2003 and 2004 doing Atkins and some how I had it my mind that with the band I would drop weight even quicker (which is not really healthy anyway). Well, I am dropping it fast. It is really easy to get caught up when your stepping on the scale daily. Every morning I would step on the scale and then just get annoyed and start wishing I had bypass.

 

I am still not great with the scale as I am stepping on it every other day but now I don't get hung up on it like I was in the beginning. Rome was not built in a day and neither was the 486 pounds. My Wife often tells me I don't give myself enough credit for what I have accomplished both pre-op and post-op. I told her my problem is I am still hung up on the past and the dis-service I did to myself. In 2003 I was 393 pounds and I did Atkins so by Christmas 2004 I was in Disney World weighing in a 219 and I was on top of the world. 174 pounds gone and I thought it was forever...I started enjoying life and indulging. I never changed my habits. I went back to poor eating and gained it all back plus 93 additional pounds. For the life of me I don't understand how I got from 219 to 486 pounds. How did I let it go like that, I understand it is no fault but my own but why didn't the people around me not stage an intervention.

 

I am trying very hard to find peace with it and the fact I failed. It is hard. I hope maybe once I hit 393 again my mind might be a little more at ease. What has me the most concerned is hitting that 219 again and not falling back into my old ways that got me to where I was in October 2011.

 

Today, I have to say with the band and the 6cc's I got in it I no longer have cravings. I no longer desire to simply walk to the fridge or pantry and eat. My habits have changed as well as my appetite. I no longer live to eat. I eat to live and I only eat when I am hungry. I cannot explain in words how different I look at things. I used to sit down in front of the tv and eat a box cheese its and a liter of diet pepsi. Now, I have no thought for that stuff. No cravings, no mental arguments. I sit down now and watch t.v. I don't think about eating. Not even during commercials. It just feels "normal" to eat when I am hungry and that's it, no side eating...

 

Is this the way it supposed to work???? Did having this band "cure" my head hunger or am I just in the zone to a point where junk food and binging is just blocked mentally? Maybe I shouldn't try to analyze it and just enjoy the ride.

 

If you have read this far then thank you...I rambled on a bit but what the hell I find that to be therapeutic...



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You said something that has given me pause.. why didn't someone have an intervention..............I had lapband 3 years ago and my son is way overweight. I would do anything for him but I can not convince him to do SOMETHING about his weight.. and I do not think my talking about it (intervention) would help. I am so afraid he will die or have a stroke, He knows he is grossly overweight he dosen't need me to tell him.. you made a decision to save your life when you were ready I pray he does too. Good Luck to you replace food with something you enjoy so you don't go back..

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Hi There,, I understand where you are coming from about the intervention. My Mom used to make comments to me about the weight gain but they were more in a chastised (or maybe nagging is a better word) manner rather then sitting me down to have an adult conversation. I love my Mom but she treated me like I was still 13 and refusing to do my chores as opposed to the 37 year old man that I was. I didn't need to hear "oh your getting fat again".

I have no children of my own and have no place offering advice but I think the approach to the conversation is huge. Hearing it from someone else besides from a parent would be huge as well. Again, this is nothing but the opinion of a childless 44 year old. You're right though...he has to want to help himself and hopefully that realization will happen sooner then later while there is still time.

Thank you for the well wishes and I hope you're son finds his way.

**Before anyone judges me I am in no way blaming anyone at all for my weight or weight gain especially my Mother. I just wish I had gotten a real reality check before I got so out of control**

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jim, thank you for sharing your story. you have been my support on this forum since i started pretty much. i am in the (blame myself for gaining it back what i lost also).

i dont wanna ramble because you know i can.....what's done is done. there is nothing that we can do to make us what we (were).

What we were then is not whom we are NOW.

I would rather have you NOW then you were THEN.

you are doing so well. I am so proud of you and your wife is awesome because of her support. FABULOUS.

Let's look at today and then tomorrow for all the good it will bring us.

YOU are almost there. You are such an inspiration to me. I thank you for that sir.

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I love that you also feel that you eat to live, not live to eat anymore. I am the same exact way. I started out just telling myself - I only need food for fuel for my body. If it's not lean protein, veggies, or fruiy my body doesn't need it. I've told myself this a thousand times. When I'm grocery shopping or browsing the fridge for dinner, I only look for those three categories. But just two months ago, a hamburger and fries was AMAZING. Now it doesn't even sound appealing. I kind of feel sorry for people I see eating garbage food because they have to work SO hard to burn it off.

Life is so refreshing now. I wake up every day excited and fall asleep satisfied, knowing my day was successful.

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Super great job, being in the zone sir and congrats on the weight loss so far! While I am not banded yet and still in WLS limbo for the moment I am trying hard every day to control my obsession for baked goods. Fast food, greasy food, doesn't appeal to me anymore and I find myself evaluating every food choice to see if it's worth the work to eat it. But what still gets me is baked goods. Not even candy appeals. Iced coffees, no way. But you slap some cake, cookies, brownies, etc in front of me and yeah I'll eat it. So to combat this my fiance comes up with the plan that if I want the whatever I have to prove that I earned it that day, I have to add 15 minutes of exercise the next day or that day, and I have to take 3/4 of the recommended serving size so I eat less calories than listed. This is my evaluation tool and more often then not I don't want the extra hassle to have it. If I am willing to do the work for it then I really want it and its not just because it's there. So far its working out well for me, but I can't wait until my insurance comes to a decision so I know what tool I get to use to help me with this!

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