Jump to content
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
  • entries
  • comments
  • views

What You Haven't Lost All The Weight Yet?

Sign in to follow this  


Some how practically everyone who knows me know I have had this surgery. It is my own fault as I told so many myself and word of mouth especially around the office travels. Most of my relatives now know thanks to my Mother who loves to gossip. None of this would bother me if it wasn't for the fact I constantly get asked "how much you down", "how much you plan to lose". I even had a former manager ask me "what are you going to do with all the loose skin when you drop all the weight". I felt like tell him I was going to smother him with it....LOL


I had a buddy come into the office and because of travel he hadn't seen me in a couple of weeks and he jokingly said "what you haven't dropped all the weight yet".


I have a fairly thick skin (hehe no pun intended) but this is getting quite tiresome. Not only do I have to deal with my own thoughts of "why is the scale not moving", "Am I getting enough protein", "Am I consuming too many calories", "I thought the weight would drop faster". Now I have to have the constant reminder of it all because I did not keep my damn mouth shut!!


I wish I never told anyone aside from my wife....now in the back of my mind I am afraid of failure. To be known as the fat guy who couldn't lose weight after having weight loss surgery.


Today has been a rough day work-wise and scale-wise. I am a bit down on myself to the point where I gave up on work today to post this and try to adjust my attitude. My attitude just plain sucks today...today is one of those "should have I gotten the bypass instead."


I have my eating in check today just fine but the scale is toying with me again. I was 413 last Friday and today 415. I know it's only 2 pounds but seriously it's going in the wrong direction.


Sorry for the pity poor me story but I would rather post here and get it out rather then take it home to my wife. She deserves better....

Sign in to follow this  


Recommended Comments

Remember this is Your journey... people are going to have something to say no matter what the situation. I regret telling the few people that I did.. there is someone on my campus who had the same WLS and she has basically given up... but for the most part, people are very supportive...of course you have the debbi downer's... those that say that I really didn't need to have surgery... I even had someone to tell me that I was going to look like a crack head... lol Don't get discouraged... stay strong!!! remember this is not a quick fix..it's a life style change that's going to take some time...

Share this comment

Link to comment

I think yuo should use your co-worker comments as an opportunity to prove everyone wrong and shut them up with your success. You're not a failure, I can guarantee you that. The fact that you are taking the time out to get your emotions in check lets me know that you can be in control of this situation. Don't let other ppl discourage you!

Exercise, eat right, and make it work. Good luck!!!! :)

Share this comment

Link to comment

I bet you Jim that your wife is the President of your Fan Club and wants to know if you're having problems. As for the rest lets break this down:

You could have gotten bypass but remind yourself..why didn't you? Did you not want someone mucking about in your insides playing with your intestines, cause that is a big turn off for me...ewww. One giant reason that I don't want the bypass.

Next have you done a mental inventory of everything you are eating and drinking..everything. Even if you just took a bite of something cooking on the stove, a cracker you picked up and popped in your mouth without thinking. Is your sodium up..cause if your sodium is up but your not compensated with fluid then you will not move a scale. This is worse for women but it can seriously derail a scale for guys too.

Next...tell them (not literally) to bite you! All those people, and I have found some of this out already BEFORE being banded, feel like they have some stake in your weight loss, some of them are jealous, some of them may be tuly rooting for you. You have to figure out which and prioritize them. The people in your corner keep em, the ones that are jealous or just like drama you can use as motivation. So after you get unstuck and loose more weight you can say...yeah Ive lost such and such, lap band is slower than many other surgeries so you don't have digestive problems and loose skin, etc.

And you can always come here and rant and we will all mentally tell those people to bite us too!

Share this comment

Link to comment

Thank you all and you're all right....I just need to shake out of this and get with it. It is what it is and I made the choices and they're done. Now I just have to do the needful and get it done.

mylynn, that was also my exact reason for not having bypass and yes my wife is my number #1 fan.

Share this comment

Link to comment

jim............look at the weight you have lost??? how much???

your co-workers/friends, see you every day. they cant notice how much you lost because they see you every day.

you are going to lose weight the same way you and i and everyone else with a weight problem will......... 1/4 pound at a time (the same way we gained it)

jim people in this world are not the nicest and not very caring. some may not have good sense to know better than to ask stupid ass things. please try and ignore them.

i myself told many people. i myself today started crying because i didnt want to be a failure at this too.

we sought help. we did it. we are doing it.

keep going. please.

because i am gonna need you to be there for me later down the road.

Share this comment

Link to comment

I had that at first too. Now nobody even mentions it. I still have a long way to go.

Somedays I will just be up 3 or 4 pounds, it used to kill me! I don't know what it is, cuz I would be doing everything pretty right then a week later those 3 or 4 pounds plus another 1 or 2 will be gone.

Your body retains fluid, or maybe you haven't gone to the bathroom for a few days (I have this problem alot).

Dont give up.... I started at 432. The journey has not always been easy but so worth it! I think the key is exercise (for me).

Share this comment

Link to comment

I am one month in. I lost alot the first week. Then nothing and then I put the scale away last week. I am measuring my food, tracking cals, getting water, and working out. I cannot beleive I cannot lose anything.

I also had a big mouth. I usually am an open book but now every day everyone askes, so "how much are you down now', "how do you feel", "are you happy", can you eat that?......

I feel like I have to get a report to everyone every day and I see alot of people. I wish I could take it back and not tell anyone. It is not like me to be quite but being accountable to an entire office and having to act like it is going great when I have so much doubt is really hard. My mom called me two weeks before surgery and said "why dont you get the sleeve instead". Now that is all I keep hearing in my head. "I would have done better with the sleeve".....

Very difficult! I feel you pain! I hate failure and especially public failure. I am hoping green zone will help but I already am following a strict caloric intake. Ugh!

Share this comment

Link to comment

Hey Jim sorry to hear u are having a rough time at the minute, it sounds like your mother and mine went to the same finishing school, i asked her not to tell anyone and she does the total opposite claiming , oh i forgot and it just 'slipped out' grrr

getting back to slow weight loss, if u find that its too slow Jim u need to change something, eating around 1200 calories should do a guy your stature, low carbs, its not just about calories its about how those calories are made up, low fat and use salt sparingly that can put on 2 lbs overnight. Be aware of drinking calories in things like protein drinks, unless u are factoring in the calories or are substituting meals with a shake. Good old protein and fresh green veg are the best and most satisfuying way to get what u need nutrient wise.

Exercise may need a tweak too, make sure u do some cardio followed by some strength training and if possible it needs to be done daily, tsake some resistance bands to work if u sit at a desk and use them when u are taking a 5 mins break .. If things arent moving then u need to tweak what you are doing and try again, i increased my metabolic type food like chilli and broccoli when i slowed down weight loss wise and that worked for me .. good luck with the weight loss and 'mother' too :)

Share this comment

Link to comment

I just want you to know that I just had my surgery done so I have not heard anything from people that I don't know about losing weight but I have only told 3 people outside my mom and inlaws. Those 3 people would take my secret to their grave but I was talking to my mom the other day before my surgery and found out that she had told several people in my family. When I asked her why she had told people when I had made her promise not to tell anyone and her response was "I thought after you told you girls,(my college girls who came home for the summer) that it was ok to tell people." I called my husband so upset and he let me know that he received a call from his sister about coming down to our house this week but wanted to make sure it was ok since I was having surgery. So not only did my own mom tell people but my mother in law called my sister in laws and told them too. Now the secret I did not want anyone to know about except the people I told my entire family on both sides know.

I have to say i was very hurt and Im still not over it but Im moving on now since it does not help me any staying mad at them.

Hope you are working on forgiving too. Some people cant be trusted with secrets. Live and learn I guess.

Share this comment

Link to comment

hang in there I was losing a ton then got a leak in my band and went back up 25lbs. I had hoped to be way down a 1.5 years lady but it's the long battle we got ourselves into and we're not going to QUIT!!! I didn't tell anyone for the specific reasons you're confronting, not much I can say except you have a lot of people that you've never met behind you!!!

Share this comment

Link to comment

i have experienced similar things...and it is irritating that the only topic of conversation i am now worthy is about my weight. many times i have used this conversation to explain how the band works and but most often recently i just tell them i am no longer keeping track of my weight loss and am unsure how much i weigh-so they will not ask me again. as others have already voiced it is a process and a journey and the weight will move-just not when we want it to. dig deep, continue to follow the rules and employ some of the many great suggestions that are floating around this site to get things moving again...i have been bouncing around the same 5-6 lbs for a month with no "real"loss...head up!

Share this comment

Link to comment

Thank you all for the kind words and advice. I have to say looking back at my post from yesterday I am a little embarrassed I got down on myself like that and cried poor me. I am lucky in a lot of ways and I am determined to make this work.

I really hope anyone new to this process doesn't get discouraged by my post. I am less than 2 month post op and only have had one fill. My journey is just starting. Please do not get discouraged by my words above. I would delete it but then all the good, kind words and advice that followed would be lost and that would be tragic.

It's funny how one day can make a difference and I didn't even step on the scale today....

Share this comment

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

PatchAid Vitamin Patches