I saw my surgeon, Dr. Jan, on Monday and after about an hour appointment, I'm scheduled for surgery next Friday, May 18th. I was utterly shocked at how fast he was able to schedule me. Even though he said I didn't have to do a pre-op diet if I didn't want to, I decided to start yesterday with two protein shakes during the day, unlimited zero-calorie clear liquids, and a healthy dinner (salads mostly). Just being in a strict routine feels good. I'm not sure why exactly, but I've always done so much better in a controlled environment; when he said it was up to me, I felt that if I didn't chose to do a pre-op diet, I would have a MUCH harder time with the two weeks of clear liquids post-op. So far it's been successful, I've lost over 6 pounds.

My focus now has shifted to long term success and keeping up on my end of the deal. Dr. Jan isn't so much of a fan of the band because there is quite the failure rate. He prefers the gastric sleeve most of all. I wasn't ready for such an invasive surgery, and I insisted that I hold myself to a very high level of responsibility, and I will not fail at this. I don't want to say that Lap Band is my last hope, but I really have tried SO many other things that I don't know what else I could do if this doesn't work. I'm not going to think of that though - I'm staying positive and just thinking of what a very successful band patient said:

ONLY GIVE YOUR BODY WHAT IT NEEDS.

I'm not going to eat things because I "feel" like it anymore. I'm not going to snack because I'm bored. I'm sorting out my head hunger from my stomach hunger. I'm looking at everything I put in my mouth and the impact it will have on the scale.