Daddy's "LITTLE" girl...

J_BandRanger thank you for sharing such a personal situation! It happens to a lot of girls/women that their own Father/Mother people that are suppose to love you unconditionally can hurt you the most by making hurtful comments that never really go away they just get buried inside. Remember you are beautiful God made only one you and you are special and unique no one can replace you! I am glad you want to be healthier and look better but that hurt will not go away until one day you sit him down and tell him those comments hurt you. Once you lose weight you will gain new confidence and you will not allow anyone to talk to you that way because you deserve to be loved and treated well! Many Blessings to you.

Keep your head up!! Dads seem to have a way of making comments that hurt us so much without knowing. Do this for you and no one else!!! We are all here to help each other and I have felt the same way you have with my dad and even my boyfriend..If you ever need someone to talk to or just need some motivation im here for you..

Ok my dear, I've read a couple of your blogs and I have to reach out and encourage you to renew your mind to all of this. Until you do, it won't work!

1.) Weight loss and gain is personal, there's no need to seek other people's approval or acceptance. 18lbs is GREAT, it's 18lbs closer to goal and 18lbs less fat than you were. Men, especially Dad's opinions mean a lot to us, but remember the only opinions that matter right now are yours and your health professionals.

From your posts it seems like you're just now starting to realize the "fat" of the matter.. yes I said fat, in place of fact. It seems like you're just now truly starting to see yourself as fat which is a GOOD thing, even though it doesn't feel like it is! When you're able to look at yourself with such a critical eye, it will serve as motivation to do something about it.

2.) Renew your mind. Ok so you're fat, you don't like the way you look in pics, you think the band is going to fail you, there's "no way it'll help you lose 100lbs". Stop right there my friend...can we say self-sabotage? When you speak defeat, you've already lost. You might as well eat twinkies and ice cream - they slide right through. So I urge and encourage you to renew your mind to a positive mindset. Take everything day by day, meal by meal, choice by choice. You didn't gain this weight overnight and you're certainly not going to lose it over night.

The band is a TOOL, we hear/read it all the time and that's true. It's a tool to HELP YOU, but if YOU aren't ready for the help it won't do YOU any good.

I really think you're at a pivotal moment in you're journey. You're awakening to the new you, change is never easy and it's so much easier to just give up. But YOU CAN DO THIS!

Just think of it this way... just like in life, your path is yours and yours alone, your lapband journey is the same. Don't compare yourself to others, do what works for you and live your life. You didn't report the multitude of pounds you gained to anyone, so why report what you lose to anyone? Let them see for themselves.

Yes the fact is, the bigger you are the more you have to lose for people to notice, but let them notice...Just go on with your days going down your path and doing what's right for you. Remember the only approval you need is yours and it'll feel SO much better when those "Wow you're really losing weight huh?" comments and compliments come your way because they'll be real and honest, not fished for or charity out of seeking approval.

Stick to what works for you and in a year or so's time when you've lost that 100lbs and everyone is ooo'ing and ahh'ing you'll have nobody to thank but yourself. Do this for you, nobody else.

Renew your mind...renew your mind....renew your mind! Accentuate the positive!

I'm sorry your dad would say something like that to you, but ymjackson1 is right, you are doing this for you, to become healthier and happier. 18 lbs is nothing to "hmpf" at, that is WONDERFUL!! Keep up the good work, keep your chin up and i'm sure you will keep doing great!!!

That is terrible and I am in tears for you that your own father would say such a thing--I can't even imagine how hurt you were by that. I just want to give you a huge hug right now.

As much as it said to stay positive, I know that it can be very difficult.

The only thing I can say is that at least you recognize your weight was/is a problem and have taken a HUGE step in the right direction to change that. The LapBand will work for you in time. And 18 pounds is not too shabby a start, no matter if you can't "see" the results quite yet. You will.

You are a beautiful, strong woman and I believe a year from now you're going to look back and this will be a distant memory.

xo ~ Maggs

I'm sorry about the comments from your dad. Sometimes its the people closest to us who hurt us the most without even thinking about it.

The responses above are heartwarming. Hopefully you can find some peace and direction from people who are going through what you are, and will gain strength and confidence in yourself and your lifestyle changes.

Try not to let anyone else take "you" from "you". You made the decision to get the band, you are making decisions along the way to get healthier. Be strong and don't waiver from those decisions no matter what someone else says.

Take care of you today! You've done fantastic, revel in that!

I'm so sorry to read your father's poor reaction to your awesome 18lb weight loss. It didn't show on me until I reached 25lbs lost. And gradually as I've continued to lose weight (after a 12 month stunt) it's become more and more noticeable. I realize you are seeking love and acceptance from your father, but please understand that you have to want to do this for YOU!

Pardon me for saying this but you (myself included) need to find love and satisfaction within yourself. I wouldn't even report to him any more your progress. SHOW HIM! May I suggest you begin to set realistic obtainable mini goals for yourself to achieve. It could be anything like for example you will walk 30min 5 times this week or for the month and then next week or next month add more minutes or switch out a day for some other physical activity.

This will help you to build confidence in yourself as you check off each goal you reach. Tell yourself everyday in the mirror that you are a beautiful, strong, healthy, fit, confident, loving, and worthy woman.

Own it, believe it and leave all that negative baggage outside the door cause it has no place inside your circle. Your beauty is not measured in the size of your clothes or in the number on the scale, beauty comes with inside of YOU!!

I'm currently reading the book Confessions of a Carb Queen. You might be interested in reading it as the woman in the story doesn't feel support from her father either even though it is one of the things she TRULY desires.

Our hearts are with you, girl. And we are here to support you no matter what!

Glad it helped you! Much love, success & blessings to you!