'Disgusting' (originally posted 10-27-2009 at 04:46 PM)

I've been in hiding since all of our company left & my sweat pants & 3x tshirts have become my uniform again. Today dh's former co-worker I've never met was coming by for the day so I brushed my hair, put on a very light makeup coverage, and dressed comfy but nice.

Over the past several months I've felt so big & gross I haven't been going very many places with dh or his friends/family. Right or wrong- I feel like I shame everyone with my obesity even though nobody says it.

Today, dh's co-worker friend, walks in and remarks on our home (which is pretty nice if I do say ) and then looks at me sort of in shock. His eyes big, his eyebrows furrowed, his mouth slightly open.. I saw it, 'wow- disgusting.'

I hadn't ever met him before but I've met his kind- pretty boys, the kind who have the skinny blond gfs and wives (or both) and who pity anyone who doesn't. The rest of the time he was here he didn't look at me. I didn't really register that he didn't shake my hand until after he & dh left to go get a beer. I appreciate dh so much & feel more sad for him now. How embarassing. As for me, I sit here sad, shameful, and SO ready for a change!

oh, my dear, please don't be so hard on yourself! You are here for a reason, the same reason that I am, and so many others.

Your husband love YOU...and that is such a wonderful thing. If his co-worker is so self-absorbed that he cannot see that you are a person, then he is not someone to waste your time on.

Hang in there....

F####**^K him. I have spent so many wasted years feeling like yoou do and 5 months out and 7kgs from a tummy tuck i feel great. Yesterday a friend said thank god you came back to us. She mean't that now the fat has gone (again) and gone for good, the real me is always around not the ashamed and depressed person who takes over. Forget the pigs in the world and move to where ever your goals take you. A couple of weeks ago i was banana boating with my kids not sitting on the beach or making excuse's as to why they couldn't do it. Grab the change and shine, bad news is he will always be a pig good news is you know it and you will be skinny

Cheers chooky