I think I am crazy!

Just got a call from someone at my doc's office. I shouldn't say no one cares there because some do. I was encouraged to share my frustrations with the doctor and others. Well, all I could say is that day after I had waited all that time, I would have totally LOST it and I just don't do that. I won't. I told her that I felt he and I were not on the same plane. Now I am wondering, has my plane crashed? Am I just losing it? Has all this frustration with me and my band put me over the edge?? I guess I really thought this journey was going to be a lot different than it is. Ultimately, I have got to do this myself. I am not going to get much support from them. I am obviously some kind of "hard to lose, slow loser" person. For what reason I do not know. I have tried to find out. Maybe I am kidding myself about what I eat and I am in la-la land. Right now I just do not know. I probably could use some counseling for deeper food issues than I even know. I don't see me getting that done. Just will not have the time or just won't. So I gotta DIG IN DEEP and get very strict. What I see others eat is just not going to work for me. How this band works for others is not on my plate so to speak. It is just not helping me much --- I needed more than its got. I have more going on than I can deal with and this tool is not quite getting it for me. I am tired, tired of fretting about this. Soon I will have plenty to think about besides this. I don't know.

Two good things. My family was going to a big buffet thing for lunch today--The Journey. That sounds omninous doesn't it? I looked it up--lots of stuff. I decided not to go. I am feeling a bit blue about that. Isn't that terrible?? I miss going with them too but I see them often so it must be the food. How silly. Well I know I did the right thing. I think I am going to go work out with weights now instead and get in some cardio. I really do not want to do that either. I just want to sit around and do nothing. I think I am getting a tad bit depressed there. Well, as I said, school starts next week and there will be no time to do that. I will try to get my big butt going and go work out. Later. :thumbup:

I'm proud of you for making that very tough decision not to go with the family. I know that had to be hard for you.

Thanks bashful. My daughter said the buffet was basically a chinese buffet some american. She was not that impressed. So I worked it out instead and am glad about that. I appreciate your words. Hope your journey is going well too??