I haven't really been on here lately. I've been depressed.
I should be happy with the surgery and all, but i just don't care..
Maybe i need better meds. I've been down all week. Not walking, avoiding most people. Bleh. At least i have therapy today, lol.
Chicken and Spinach Paleo Ravioli
Kinda funny because the blog is named "Cupcakes OMG"
Check right under the recipe for other healthy ones, like her "Caulif-redo Sauce".
Soo...this is breakfast.. Eggbeaters, 2 petite brussel sprouts, 1 piece of cauliflower, 2 petite asparagus and spice.
I'm not even half way done, i don't think i'm going to finish it.
Lighter to show scale, lol. (No, i don't smoke.)
Edit: Ehh...asparagus was prolly a bad choice, i have to chew it forever.
I feel a little acid at the back of my throat. My hiatial hernia was fixed, i'm confused. Maybe 21 days isnt long enough to heal?
Also, having problems getting in fluids, protein and food. One is always lacking, and it's fluids. Well, and food. I only eat two or three times a day.
More embarrassing than the male nurse giving me a bedpan.
I couldn't wipe properly. The pain on my left side was killing me, i sat there for 10 minutes trying until i said "screw this" and grabbed the shower hose.
Worst poop ever.
Was out at stores for almost 4 hours and the gas in my shoulder is still there, what the hell.
I bought firming cream, compression wraps and checked a number of stores for the Quest Bars. Looks like GNC really is the only place that has them.
Chicken with mayo, cauliflower, italian mrs dash, pepper and onion powder.
I scooped it all into a small container and am eating the stuff stuck to the inside of the magic bullet, lol
My stomach is making all sorts of noises, and i'm not sure how much to eat..
Waking up at 2am and trying to get out of bed is painful as hell.
I don't have a normal bed with a frame that's all purdy. It's a bed and box spring. No headboard or nothing.
I kinda miss the remote for the bed, it would help me stretch and move the gas around. Now i have 6 pillows propping me up, lol. One of those pillows is used as a cat guard. They've been trying to lay on me.
I had an allergic reaction to plasma. Broke out in hives. No surgery until tomorrow.
My blood isn't clotting as well as it should. Which is why the plasma. I took no aspirin so they've narrowed it down to not enough vitamin k, which is in veggies, which I can't have on the liquid diet.
I had a panic attack while getting hives. I also was used as a damn pin cushion for 15 minutes until the specialist got there and nailed the blood draw in 1 shot. I cried, they really dug around in my hand.
I just got home, then up at 5 am to be back at the hospital by 7.
This is my first hospital stay ever. And it was horrible. I'm afraid to go back in the morning. I've never had plasma before, and this happens on the first try.
It's like Karma is trying to kick my ass.
I receive a call this morning saying X is the time of my surgery and what to bring.
10 MINUTES LATER
I receive a call from someone in the insurance dept of the hospital saying the letter my therapist sent wasn't good enough. That she should know how to word a letter to an insurance company and it wasn't "rocket science". the therapist the surgeon sent me to never finished his report from back in f**king April.
I have an hour to fax this woman back. Well actually now it's 10 minutes.
What the f**k. My therapist is on vacation, i have left every kind of messege for the therapist from the hospital, emailed my surgeon, even called the nutritionist to get her to see the therapist. (They're basically across the hall from eachother)
If i don't do this ill have to restart the liquid diet again,
FOR THE 3RD TIME.
I am in f**king tears here because of the stress. f**k this b***h with no people skills being rude to me like i don't want this.
Edit: Backup therapist called. she said "I got ya, what do you need?" Took this b*****s number/fax down and began writing a letter. She is going to call her and then fax her.
I'm pretty sure i am in the clear. Like 80% sure.
Also, whats up with this site censoring my writing, hrmf.
Talked with the surgeon yesterday. I am good to go. I had some extra blood work and talked to the anesthesiologist about being under for a set of shots i can't remember the name of. (He was attractive, but married...doh!)
My unflavored Unjury powder came in. It's a little odd but my other protein is worse.
I'm kinda nervous, kinda scared.
So..a woman at my mother's job had samples for me to try months ago. They were fine with milk...
But with water and food? Disgusting.
I have a tub of vanilla & cinnamon bun.(Mixed together because it looked like i have less to take this way, lol) I put it in a small glass now and hold my nose, trying to choke it down. If i don't take it, i'm out $30.
I'm waiting on unflavored UNJURY to come in, for my clear liquid stage next week.
5 more days until surgery.
Then i get mushy stuffs.
I'm healing well i think. I bought some Mederma because one of the wounds looks like it's going to be a huge scar.
Constipation has started, woot woot.
I'm still having pain using my stomach muscles. (Sitting up) I also have pain in a new place. It's by an incision but its not coming from it. It's not red or irritated. It seems to happen when i stand or sit.
I can press on the area and it won't hurt. I'm confused.
I'm also scared/paranoid, i got dressed. I'd really like to go back to bed though.
Hello to anyone that still wonders.
I'm down to 235ish lbs. I'm on iron pills. My hair has been thinning/falling out for the past 3 months, so i'm on biotin.
I REALLY need to work out. Apparently this surgery didn't cure my lazy. D:
I don't want to be a size 4. 16 would be fine.
I went to a halloween store and found a tank dress i really really want,(for everyday wear) but i have no idea what size to get it in.
I'm afraid it won't be around when my body hits it's right size.
I think my scale is off. It says ive lost like 15lbs since i started the liquid diet. I've lost 30 since i started this whole testing for the surgery thing. Sooo...45lbs in a yearish?
Surgeon tomorrow so i guess i can find out.
This diet has me totally drained. No energy. I have no idea why i'm up now.
Hello out there in bariatric land.
I haven't seen my surgeon in a year. I was stalled and he wasn't happy with me. My nutritionist doesn't call me.
I just started losing again, i guess this moving around thing works. I'm down to about 210. I just had to get a size 18 pants and they fit weird.
I've been working on my mental health. As we know, being overweight usually comes with low self esteem and depression. I've been going to group therapy, and individual. Trying to come to the root of my problem. When the weather was warmer i was walking before my appts, when i arrived early. I take 3 flights of stairs to their office. I think thats whats making me lose now.
I stopped taking my vitamins, just...not sure why, lazy, depressed, thought i was okay.
I've since started taking them again. I might be on iron pills forever.
I still have the mentality that i'm gross and fat, just now with saggier skin. But like i said, i'm in therapy.
Sooo...thats whats going on. Oh and i posted in the forums about a weird sensation in my bellybutton region.
I've been on the phone since 10am.
I am so pissed off. (Can i say pissed?)
After everything....i'm waiting on this woman to call me back, telling me the insurance called her and approved this letter. I have a few hours left to wait i guess.
I don't think this surgery is happening on Monday.
This will be the 2nd time it's been moved. The 1st time, someone in the surgeons family died.