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The Big decision

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current progress photo

I wanted to FINALLY post a pic. The before picture is a couple days after surgery...probably about 300 pounds. In progress photo is my current picture (on my way to the gym) at 208. I am 5'6" My highest weight was 311 before surgery, but got down to 298 on my 1 week liquid diet for surgery day.
LifetimeLoser

LifetimeLoser

11
 

Appreciating all the little ways my life has changed in the past 5 months

I will almost make 6 months post op, and I have a great many things to be thankful for. We all strive to hit numbers on the scale, but it is all the little accomplishments that really make a difference in how we feel and the way we move. I've compiled a list of all the things I have noticed since surgery that have changed for me.   1. My blood pressure has dropped 20 points (*note that I have never had high blood pressure) 2. I have dropped 2 shoe sizes 3. I started out doing 15 minutes of cardio and can now do 2 hours non-stop of medium to intense cardio 4. Foot pain is GONE 5. Knee pain is GONE 6. Back pain/sciatica is very rare 7. Migraines have subsided and only come about when I get a massage or have a lot of neck tension 8. I don't need an extension for the airplane 9. I am now considered a regular at the gym 10. I am able to look in the mirror more and for longer periods of time 11. I rarely need to take a nap in the middle of the day 12. I can work a 8 hour shift with no problem...used to work only 4 hours because my back and feet would be killing me 13. pants size went from 28/30 to 20 14. I am seeking out new active things to do instead of avoiding them 15. I don't have any bathroom problems: (this one is quite embarrassing), but I used to have a lot of issues...even wiping my ass where I would be in tears because I couldn't reach! I don't have any of these problems anymore 16. Sex is way better! Being on top is an option now and an enjoyment :0) 17. I get a compliment every day 18. My towels fit completely around me now 19. I am more social 20. I watch less tv 21. I need my husband's help less with everything 22. I am 14 pounds away from being the same weight as my husband!!! 23. I enjoy working out 24. I am comfortable with what and how I eat...I don't obsess anymore 25. I am now trying to motivate others 26. I am so busy living my life that it is hard to get on the computer and post blogs...I'm trying though
LifetimeLoser

LifetimeLoser

8
 

Almost 16 weeks post op up date

In 5 days I will make 16 weeks post op. I had surgery on January 30, 2013.   My weight loss has been an average of 15 pounds of month. My last 4 weeks I actually lost more than the previous 4 weeks. I'm pretty sure it had everything to do with upping my calories from 600 to 1000 and my exercise.   Total loss as of today is 70 pounds!!!   I was always worried I wasn't losing fast enough throughout this process, but in the past week I think I have come to terms with not being a super fast loser. I mean 70 pounds in approximately 4 months is pretty amazing to me. And as for the eating part it has been fairly effortless. My main struggle has been trying to get in more calories to sustain my intense workouts. Long term, if I only lost 10 pounds a month that is still 120 pounds in a year!!!   My anxiety has definitely lifted regarding the scale. I always felt this pressure to lose fast and hard...I think it was because I was going on vacation to see some of my friends and family and I wanted to lose as much as I could before seeing them. Well, my vacation is over and so is the pressure. I feel quite content with my weight loss and my successes as well as failures. I made decent choices on my vacation, but was far from perfect and lost over 6 pounds while on my vacation. It was so hard for me to not have access to a scale during that time and was pleasantly surprised when I came home and the scale had gone down!   I finally have FAITH in my sleeve. I feel if I make good choices that the weight will come off.   This is a good feeling for me to have. Everything seems so much clearer. I don't feel the stress of it all. I have faith in myself and my sleeve. Most importantly, I finally feel my life changing for the better and for the long term.   WHAT I NEED TO DO MOVING FORWARD I have to readjust my goals and rewards because the more I lose the more they change. I also have to get back to the gym. I haven't gone since a couple days before my vacation...so that is almost 2 weeks. I also need to get back on track with my eating habits. Eating clean, healthy, and meeting my protein and caloric needs every day.   For those of you out there worried about losing slowly...don't! I know it is easier said than done, but in 4 months and you are 50, 60, 70 pounds down or more it is success and you should be excited and proud of yourself.
LifetimeLoser

LifetimeLoser

2
 

7 month post op update

Well, I am basically 7 months post op. My weight loss has slowed down to about 10 pounds a month. It doesn't bother me as long as I continue to see results.   I haven't been super strict with my diet. I am on the go a lot and started relying on my bars and shakes a little too much I think. I need to start cooking more so I am in control of my food and get that dense protein in my diet. I think that would help me a lot.   Other than that things are well. I have no complications. My surgeon is happy with my progress and thinks that I will be very successful. I don't see him until my 1 yr. post op appointment. My blood pressure and resting heart rate is lower than his!!! I believe it is all the cardio sessions I do.   I continue to work out 5-6 days a week and feel awesome. On the days I feel I need a break I just take a break.   I don't feel the stress like I used to pre-op. The stresses of what I eat, when I eat, how many times I work out etc. I guess I just have faith in myself and this process. It is working, is continuing to work, and I am faithful that if I do the right things it will work in the future.   Thank you body for adjusting to this process and doing what you are supposed to be doing...LOSING WEIGHT!
LifetimeLoser

LifetimeLoser

0
 

10 week post op appointments

So I had 4 appointments yesterday...3 revolving around my sleeve and the other one was my dentist. My appointments were with my nutritionist, fitness trainer (part of my weight loss program), and my sleep specialist.   Good news is I weighed in at 257 pounds! I don't have any complications and it seems I might be able to stop taking my nexium.   Bad news is my premier protein shakes that I have had to drink twice a day have been staining my teeth! Ugh. So I guess I am going to have to switch from my chocolate version to a lighter color when I'm done with the 3 boxes I just bought from costco.   My nutritionist appointment went fairly well. She doesn't have any real concerns. I learned that I have, once again, not been getting enough calories in. I average around 600 calories a day. According to her, others at this stage are already up to 1000 calories. I was concerned and asked her if this is going to affect my metabolism because it has been 3 months, basically, since my body has been in a severe calorie deficit. She recommended that I try real hard to get my calories close to 1000, but no more than 1200 so I don't hit stalls etc.   I think if I could manage to eat that many calories, then I would lose weight more consistently and hit less stalls.   My other appointment with my fitness trainer went well. She was impressed and very supportive about all the steps I am taking to be more active. I expressed a little disappointment with how "slow" my weight loss has been considering all the effort I put in and the first thing she asked me was, "are you getting enough calories?"   So, right now, my calories are my main focus. I don't think I am a slow loser, but I think the weight should be coming off quicker considering my age, bmi, and activity level. I have always, in the past, lost weight fairly quickly so I feel something is just a little bit off.   I am putting every effort into eating more calories. This is a daily struggle for me. I feel the only time I can manage upwards of 800 calories is if I eat slider foods, fried foods, or high sugar foods...all of which I want to try and avoid. I am still figuring all this out and am extremely frustrated!!! I never would have thought that I would be frustrated because I am having difficulty getting enough food!!!   I want to do everything I can to keep the weight coming off at a consistent pace with no stalls. The only issue right now is that I am not eating enough calories to support my intense workouts.   Yesterday, I tried real hard. I basically ate from the time I woke up until I went to bed. As soon as I could eat something...I did. I even let my husband take me to Ruby Tuesday's thinking this could help up my calories. At the end of the day, I did reach 1200 calories, but I felt crappy and overly full. I actually felt extremely tired like I was going to pass out...I think from eating too much. I don't like how I felt yesterday!   Today, I wasn't hungry ALL DAY. I drank most of my meals. So I am sort of at a loss. If I stuff myself just to get my calories in, but am not hungry the whole next day, then what?   All in all, I don't want to stuff myself. I want to just eat normally when I'm hungry. I guess I just need to find higher calorie foods or make them. I am extremely dedicated in upping my calories because I truly feel that my weight loss will be better and more consistent.   Oh and I am definitely losing some hair. No one can tell, but me because I have soooo much hair! My brush has extra hair in it, my rubberbands, and the hair catcher has extra hair. I hope it doesn't get too bad, but it was still worth getting my sleeve.
LifetimeLoser

LifetimeLoser

14
 

1 month check up with my surgeon...answered questions

This afternoon I had my one month check up with Dr. Fowler, although technically it is almost 5 weeks. According to his scale, I weighed in at 278. I weighed myself this morning and was 276 on my scale at home (which is a 1 lb difference from his...I already figured that out). So within a few hours I gained a couple pounds, but I'm not worried about it. I had done a lot of cardio and drank a lot before my afternoon appointment. I think I will stick to morning appointments from now on though because I don't like to see the number go up in a few hours ...no matter what the reason is.   I was able to ask him some questions that I have been wondering. First, I had a 38 bougie used on my tummy. He said he always uses this size. He used to use anywhere between a 28 and 60, but over the years they have found that a 38 has had the least amount of complications. I was worried this was big and did some research on the net as to what the difference is between a 32 and a 38. Well, it is miniscule. Anyone who is worried that a 38 is too big has nothing to worry about. It is literally the diameter of a pen and a 32? Well just a smaller pen. Compared to the size of the stomach before it is a huge difference! I'm not worried anymore now that I understand how miniscule the differences are.   I was also able to ask him about my calorie intake. It has been bothering me for some time that I am rarely hungry and get in about 300 to 600 calories daily. There are others who can eat twice as much as that and had surgery the same week. I was worried that I wasn't getting enough nutrition and that it might stall my weight loss. He basically told me not to worry about my calories. He said I wasn't losing weight super fast so it isn't even an issue. He just told me as long as I am getting my protein, water, and vitamins in that it basically doesn't matter. As to why I am rarely hungry, he said that was a sign that my body is still in ketosis. Yay! I feel so much better. I will not be forcing myself to get in more calories than my body wants anymore. I am just going to listen to my body. One more thing I have to work on is not eating until I am full. I want to learn how to eat until I am satisfied which requires me eating super slow. I still haven't mastered that one yet! But that is my goal as far as eating goes.   I joined the gym today! Yep, I finally got down to it. I have had a gym membership pretty much my whole entire life except for the past two years. I canceled it because I just wasn't using it. Well, I joined. I actually sat in the car for a good half an hour just staring at the gym. I had a little anxiety about walking in there. Is everyone going to look at me? Are they going to be rude to me? Well I got over it. I just said in my mind I need to do this for me. I got signed up and did my 60 minutes of cardio. For me, it is so much easier working out in a gym setting. I hate working out at home. I love being able to focus on no one, but myself. I love blasting my music and tuning the whole world out. It is my peace and quiet time. I think that is why I used to love going to the gym before. It is almost like meditation for me. It was exciting and I am not even tired.   So all in all, today was a good day. No, it was a great day! I am so looking forward to my weight loss with my tool and my newly added gym membership.
LifetimeLoser

LifetimeLoser

3
 

01/30/2013 was my BIG day!

Aloha everyone,   I am currently approximately 36 hours post op.   My surgery was schedule for 2:45pm (Hawaii time) on Wednesday, January 30th, 2013. My husband and I arrived at Castle Hospital at 1pm, but was told things were running behind and the lady scheduled before me hadn't even gone in yet. It was a little after 4pm that I was finally rolled in. As far as I can tell, I was in surgery until about 630pm.   As soon as I got to the hospital, the nurse had me check in, get undressed and lay down on one of the beds. Then I met the anesthesiologist. As I was waiting, they asked me a bunch of questions and started my iv. My iv had to be done in my wrist...I am always a tricky one when it comes to my veins. I don't really know if I was just tired, but a few hours with the iv I felt kind of silly to put it is the only way I can think of it.   I was pretty excited going in there and my husband was a nervous wreck. That was not a surprise though. I tend to be the positive one and he is the negative nancy, although he says he is "realistic". I had no anxiety at all while I was waiting. My husband was allowed to wait with me and we just did crossword puzzles or read magazines or played with our phones.   I remember waking up and hearing, "you did really well. The dr. is very happy with how things went." I did no feel very well. It was very foggy. I didn't really know what was going on. I am not sure what time I woke up or was rolled to my room or anything like that.   I remember waking up and feeling pain. It was all in my belly area. Maybe I am not used to pain in my abdominal area, but it hurt for me. It feels like when you have a bruise, but much worse. They kept giving me morphine. I was allowed to have it every hour if I wanted it, but I kept falling asleep so I would say I got it every 4 hours. My head was foggy still afterwards. Actually, now that I think about it my head is still a little foggy. I'm a little forgetful right now.   I never changed out of my hospital gown...so I don't even know why I packed a bag. Honestly, all you need is chapstick and maybe music. I brought my preggo pillow which I definitely used. I also found it helpful to sit up. I didn't want to lay down. I think it was helping with the gas in my body. I had gas, but it felt like it was mostly in my belly. I had no shoulder pain like others have reported.   Even when I got home, I wanted to be propped up. Last night, I actually put pillows under my belly and slept on my stomach!!! I haven't slept on my stomach in 5+ years. The pressure seemed to make me feel better. Today I finally farted!!! I know that is silly, but I wanted to fart so bad, but couldn't. I was so jealous of my husband who just kept letting it rip! I haven't had a bowel movement yet.   I would definitely say the first 3 days are the hardest. I was considered to be in the "doing extremely well" category so I don't know how people do it when they have complications. Waking up from surgery definitely sucks. I kept thinking, "what the hell did I do to myself". Those thoughts are short lived because not even 4 days later it is bearable and I am excited to make progress.   I can tell you that the first couple of days I mostly slept. The tiredness would just hit me out of nowhere. It was extremely hard to get in my liquids...I think mostly because I was sleeping. Even when I was up it was hard work. It is hard work to drink that 4 oz. every hour. You have to work at it. They wanted me to be on clear liquids the first 2 post op days and get in between 48 and 64 oz and 80grams of protein. They did tell me not to worry too much if I couldn't because I would still have lots of fluids in me from the Iv. I am pretty determined to make my goals because I want to do this right, but it seems my whole day is consumed with trying to get my liquids in. Today I have drank a whole 24 oz and reached 40grams of protein, and that was damn hard. I did take a multi-vitamin today with no problems.   I've been lucky with the nausea, but I play it on the safe side. I do not push anything and take very small sips. I do not want to vomit! I pretty much hate vomiting. The fullness feeling everyone talks about...I'm still trying to figure it out. When I drink it feels a little like I have to burp and then I burp.   These are what they require me to do post op for a week or longer: 1. Take nexium once a day 2. Use my spirometer 3. Go walking 4. Drink 80 grams of protein 5. Drink at least 64 oz of liquid 6. take my multi-vitamin 3x daily   Oh and lastly...what I do not like the most is the strange body odors. It is pretty wretched. As soon as I could take a shower, I was in there washing it off. Well, it does return.
LifetimeLoser

LifetimeLoser

6
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